Futurama: The Texas Powerhouse Trilogy
by TheTexasPowerhouse
Summary: When two Texan warriors from the Texan-American War of 2136 are thrust to the 31st Century via a set-up, the Texans must find a way back to their past. Their journey includes a few run-ins with the Planet Express crew. While Fry & Leela find a way to improve their love chemistry, Amy is shocked when Kif shows up huge and buff. Meanwhile, Bender wants Mom to remember him forever.
1. Chapter 1: The Texas Powerhouse Ballad

**Futurama: **

**The Texas Powerhouse Ballad**

**Based on Characters Created and Developed by**

**Matt Groening & David X. Cohen**

**Teleplay by**

**TheTexasPowerhouse**

**PART 1 of 3**

_**WARNING:**_

_**Mature Content including:**_

_**Strong Language**_

_**Action Sequences**_

_**Sexual Content**_

_**Some Crude, Vulgar Humor**_

_**Fiction Rating: M**_

[The Futurama title screen appears and the subtitle that appears below the title reads, "TRY IT…OR ELSE!" The intro continues as usual. The shot with the retro T.V. screen shows an image of the cartoon, "Duck Twacy" where Daffy Duck has a magnifying glass in hand and is following a bunch of footsteps along the floor, and continues to follow it up the wall. Then it cuts to the creator credits, the developers' credits, and then the Planet Express Ship crashing into the retro T.V.]

_[ACT 1 - __**Scene 1: **__A mysterious, dark theme starts as the camera shows Earth in Black & White colors. As the Earth slowly turns, a subtitle appears on the bottom of the screen, which reads, "February A.D. 2136".]_

_[The theme continues as the camera fades to a closer image of Earth's lower Northwestern atmosphere. Then, little white dots outline the portion of the North American continent that is Texas. A subtitle appears on the lower part of the screen reads, "Texas".]_

_[The deep, slightly growling, male voice of the Texas Powerhouse speaks as the dark theme continues. The camera shows a ground shot of a windmill energy farm containing a couple hundred windmills. The fans turn slowly in the night. The visible silver lining is provided by the moonlight.]_

**Texas Powerhouse: **_(narrating)_ Texas. The Lone Star State. The energy capital of the nation. The motto is friendship, the flower is bluebonnet, and the food is Chili.

[The Powerhouse continues as the camera fades to a shot of the Texas State Capital building in Austin. The capital building and the streets are all lit up as cars drive by.]

**Texas Powerhouse: **_(narrating)_ The home of TXDot, the Rangers, and the weirdoes of Austin.

[As the Powerhouse continues, the camera fades to a shot of oil wells in the middle of the desert, drilling. Again, the moon provides the visible lighting.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) The only state that was a country at one point of it's life. She's beautiful. Most of its residents would do anything to protect their precious, spring-laden, oil-bearing terrain.

[The camera fades to an aerial shot of Houston. The skyline is lit up in the nighttime. The Powerhouse continues.]

**Texas Powerhouse: **(narrating) From the deserts of El Paso, to the refineries of Port Arthur. From the beautiful, bikini-laden beaches of South Padre, to the blazin' hot cheerleaders of Dallas.

[The camera fades to a lit-up street in downtown Houston. Cars drive by as the camera zooms in on a restaurant that is lit up.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) The diversity of this great place is not just shown in the soil. It's shown on and about the streets.

[The camera fades to a street shot that shows the outside of the lit-up restaurant. The glass window, from where the light is shining, contains the big text of, "Baron Red's Place", and below it in smaller letters appears the text, "No pizzas here. Move on."

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) No where else in the nation can I find a great hamburger, a zesty burrito, and a spicy Cajun gumbo in one place than right here in Lady Tejas.

[The camera fades to an image of the inside of the restaurant. There is a Caucasian man sitting at a table on the far side away from the bar. He's the Texas Powerhouse. He's a tall, muscle-bearing, tough-faced individual with short, dark-brown hair. He dons a black button-down shirt with a pocket at the left chest, black jeans, and black cowboy boots. In the couch space next to him is a black leather trench coat topped off with a black cowboy hat. On his table is a burrito, and a glass half-full with dark beer. At the bar on barstools are a woman, Milady, and three men. Milady is a slender, fit Caucasian woman with shoulder-length dark-brown hair. She's a few inches shorter than the Powerhouse and is easy on the eyes. She is wearing black Capri pants, a black, skin-tight, cotton, short-sleeved shirt, a short tailed black coat, and black cowboy boots. On the bar is her black cowgirl hat. To her left is Guy 1, a relatively obese, poorly groomed Caucasian. To Milady's right is Guy 2, a well-groomed Black-haired Caucasian in a business suit. To Guy 2's right is Guy 3, a poorly-groomed, long-haired blonde of a hippie. The camera zooms in towards Powerhouse as he continues to speak.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) Ahhhhh. Texas. She loves me, and I love her. Unfortunately for her, she's not the one I love the most.

[The camera fades to a shot of the Texas Powerhouse sitting at his table, taking a sip from his beer.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) Nothing can match how much I love my college sweetheart. That brilliant mathematician with pure heaven glowing in her sapphire eyes and love on those beautiful luscious lips. And I don't just mean those on her face.

[We hear Milady grunting off-screen. The Powerhouse looks to his left towards the bar, and his eyes widen a little, but he doesn't look too concerned.]

[Milady is struggling to push Guy 1 and Guy 2 away from her. But Guy 1 and Guy 2 keep trying to stop her from walking away.]

**Guy 1:** Come on, babe. Come take a ride with the G-Man.

**Guy 2:** Go on, you creep. She's too pretty to be seen with your greasy, fat ass!

**Milady:** BOTH of you get off! I don't like greasy nor snobby! It's gross!

[Both guys laugh.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** HEY, JERKS!

[Guy 1 and Guy 2 instantly stop struggling, and both look at T.P. while maintaining a solid grip on Milady's arms.]

[The Powerhouse has risen from his table, with a crazed intense look in his eyes.]

**Texas Powerhouse: **Take your hands off the lady.

**Guy 2:** Or else what, pretty boy?

**Texas Powerhouse:** I'll have to dazzle you with Calculus.

**Guy 2:** HA! You can't! I hold a Doctorate in Mathematics and Physics. No one in this room is smarter that me, not even—

[Suddenly, Milady breaks her arms free from both men, elbows them HARD in the stomach, and chops their heads together, sending them to the ground, moaning in pain.]

**Milady:** (to Guy 2) How many stars are you seeing?

**Guy 2:** (weakly) Uh, five?

**Milady:** (sharply) THAT'S FOUR TOO MANY! (grunts as she kicks Guy 2)

[Powerhouse, smiling, walks towards Milady, who walks over the fallen drunks towards Powerhouse.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** Did they hurt you, ma'am?

**Milady: **Nah, I got a little grease on me, but you can clean me up when we shower tonight.

[Powerhouse and Milady smile seductively, then suddenly embrace and kiss passionately. The camera shows close ups of the Powerhouse and Milady as they narrate, respectively.]

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) She smells like Moonlight's Path, and her passion burns hotter than an asphalt road in the middle of a Summer day.

**Milady:** (narrating) His arms say, "You're my Goddess", and his kiss lifts me off the ground like Cupid's wing.

**Texas Powerhouse:** (narrating) My beautiful wife.

**Milady:** (narrating) My handsome husband.

**Texas Powerhouse & Milady: **(narrating simultaneously) I will love you forever!

[We hear groaning off screen. Powerhouse and Milady break their kiss and look down where Guy 1 and Guy 2 are. They wake up and slowly get up from the ground.]

**Guy 1: **Where'd that psycho bitch get to?

[Guy 3, smoking a cigarette, talks to Guy 1.]

**Guy 3:** Man, just leave that happy couple alone. They're like madly in love, man. They'll seriously mess you up if you try to mess with them. Like Chuck Norris!

[Guy 2 spits and angrily stands up.]

**Guy 2:** Whoever said that?

**Guy 3: **The State of Texas, man!

[Powerhouse and Milady are ready for combat.]

**Milady: **(to Powerhouse) You take greasy, I'll take ego.

**Texas Powerhouse:** Why do I always get the dirty work?

**Milady:** (winks at Powerhouse) More for me to clean in the shower.

**Texas Powerhouse:** (on board) Oh, yeah! (to Guy 1 & Guy 2) Come on! Let's go! We've got a date with two little ladies tonight named Ivory & TRESemme!

**Milady:** (turned on) Oo-La-La!

[Guy 2 and Guy 1 growl as they run towards Powerhouse and Milady.]

**Guy 1:** (angry) RRRRRRRRRRR!

**Guy 2:** (angry) EEEEEEERRRRRRRR!

[Intense Rock Music starts as Powerhouse and Milady jump towards their opponents.]

**Powerhouse:** (intense) RRRRRR-EEEE-AAAAA-!

**Milady:** (intense) HIIIII-EEEEEEEE-!

[The bartender, who has ducked behind the bar, peeks up as random items, including Dockers, beer bottles, plates and teeth, fly across the room from all directions. The bartender tries to get up, but squeals and goes back down as a beer bottle shatters right in front of him on the bar table.]

**Bartender:** (scared) YAAHHHH!

[Milady easily hands Guy 2 two punches to the head and a hard kick in the gut. Guy 2 wheezes and gasps as he tries to get up. Milady quizzes him.]

**Milady:** What's the procedure to find the mean of a group of numbers?

**Guy 2: **(wheezing, in pain) What? Uh, 'y' equals 'a-x' minus 'b'?

[Milady kicks Guy 2 in the gut and whacks his back, sending him crashing to the floor and wheezing harder.]

**Milady:** You're sloping down the wrong intercept, boy!

[The Powerhouse is facing Guy 1. Guy 1 throws a left hand, and misses. Then he throws a right hand, which Powerhouse ducks to evade. Powerhouse rises and instantly throws a backhanded right at Guy 1's face, and at the same time, knees Guy 1's gut. When both blows land, it sends Guy 1 wheezing and flipping forward alongside the Powerhouse. Guy 1 hits the floor on his back hard. He groans in pain.]

[Powerhouse stands over Guy 1. With an intense look and demeanor, he speaks to Guy 1.]

**Powerhouse:** Your breath reminded me of something. A little fact I truly hate. My dad was a heavy smoker. He was so good at it, my mom smoked too, even when she was pregnant with me. I keep asking myself, 'Why did fate have to put my innocent soul into that deadly predicament?' And do you know what my answer to that question is?

**Guy 2:** (wheezing) Uh, don't smoke on your honeymoon?

[Powerhouse viciously stomps Guy 2 in the gut, and continues grinding his heel into his gut as he speaks with commanding authority.]

**Powerhouse:** (intensely angry) NO! NEVER EVER LET THE HIPPIES, COMMIES, OR PROGRESSIVES TAKE OVER THIS COUNTRY! Damn bastards!

[Powerhouse, panting with a growl, takes his boot off of Guy 2 and looks at Guy 3.]

[Guy 3 is terrified. He struggling to hold his joint because he's so scared.]

[Milady speaks softly to Guy 3 with a brushing gesture from her hand.]

**Milady: **Shoo.

[Guy 3 looks confused.]

**Guy 3: **Shoe? I haven't worn a shoe in—

**Powerhouse: **Run.

**Guy3: ** Wh-? I can't afford running without any sho-

**Milady & Powerhouse:** (loud and articulated) GET OUT!

[Guy 3 screams in terror as he blazes out of the bar, leaving a dust trail behind him.]

**Guy 3:** (terrorfied) AAAAAAAAAAHH! HELP! SOMEBODY, HELP! THE HOLOCAUST IS RETURNING! HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!

[The camera goes back to the Powerhouse and Milady. They brush off the debris off of their shoulders. Powerhouse puts on his trench coat and his hat. He joins hands with Milady. Milady talks to the bartender, who's still hiding, as they start to walk out of the bar.]

**Milady:** If you're still down there, you can put all of this on our tab.

**Bartender: **(from below) After all that, I'm afraid to charge you anything.

**Milady:** Oh, then just close our tab.

[A credit card flies out from under the bar. Powerhouse catches it and puts it in his pocket.]

**Powerhouse: **Hey, thanks.

[Milady and Powerhouse start walking toward the door. As they open it, the Bartender starts whining in fear. Powerhouse pauses at the door, realizing what the bartender is afraid of.]

**Powerhouse:** We're leaving!

[Suddenly, the bartender stands up and smiles gleefully.]

**Bartender:** Okay! Y'all have a great night.

[**Scene 2: **Inside a black 2130 Dodge Ram 3500, Milady is driving and the Powerhouse is in the passenger seat. They talk casually.]

**Milady:** Honey, shouldn't you drive tonight? It's pretty dark.

**Powerhouse:** You said you were the D-D.

**Milady:** What does my cup size have to do with anything?

**Powerhouse:** (sharply) Designated driver! Ugggh. You were right. That fifth Double X was a bad idea.

**Milady: ** Only because you didn't eat your Bistro. Another thing. Why did you tell that guy about your parents? I thought you were past that.

**Powerhouse:** I am. But hearing a story like that from a fired-up guy like me can be a nightmare.

**Milady:** So you were just standing up for me?

**Powerhouse:** Yeah. I mean, come on. Like any other decent man in the world, I have to defend and protect my woman. I chose to do it by pretending like I'm a half-insane lunatic who was a victim of a problem he couldn't stop from happening.

[Milady pumps the brakes. The truck stops. Powerhouse's head goes into the dash. Powerhouse consuls it while he yells.]

**Powerhouse:** Whoa—Ow! Geez, girl! What the Hell?!

**Milady:** That kind of logic is crazy!

**Powerhouse:** (scoffs) Your point?

[Milady smiles, for she is turned on.]

**Milady:** I love it!

[She leaps out of her seat and into Powerhouse's arms and they kiss passionately.]

[The camera shot shows the truck from above. We hear Powerhouse and Milady moaning as the camera slowly zooms out. The moaning quickly fades, and we hear Milady narrate. While she narrates and the camera zooms out, we see the truck stopped in the middle of the state highway. And to the left and right of the truck, we see and hear various cars, trucks and motorcycles screeching away from the truck and crashing off and away from the highway.]

**Milady: **(narrating) Some call him a psychopath. Some call him a victim. But he's never seen an asylum nor a mental hospital. He's a perfectly sane man who has become a master of terror and manipulation. He has never lost his priorities, his wits, or his bed skills. Before we married, he and I shared all of our feelings about everything, and we concluded that we are both sick of how weak this world has become. And we hope that whatever legacy we leave behind, be it small or great, will make a significant impact on the world. It needs it. Badly. In the meantime, my husband and I had to return home to continue on with our average, everyday lives.

[The camera shows a classroom decorated with kid-like drawings and posters. In this room, we find Milady, in corporate casual attire, teaching her class of 3rd graders basic math. On the chalkboard, she has written a math problem, "8 X 3 = _". Below the problem, we see three groups of eight pennies all seperated by '+' symbols and the last is followed by a '='.]

**Milady:** In this problem, we find that we have a group of eight pennies, and our multiplier wants to make three groups of eight pennies. So class, how much is three groups of eight?

**Kid 1:** 11?

**Milady: **We're not adding, Paul. We're multiplying.

**Kid 2:** 5?

**Milady:** (getting a little impatient) We're not subtracting either, Chelsea.

**Kid 3:** Milady, 2.6666666667?

[Milady slaps her own forehead in amazement.]

**Milady: **(unaffected by the slap; astonished) It's Missus Milady, Jack!

[The camera then shows the kids in the classroom taking a test. Milady is at her desk. She narrates as she grades papers. The camera shows Milady grading 8 of her students' papers. She gave all of them 'F''s.]

**Milady: **(narrating) Like most school teachers know, there are bad days and good days in teaching. Now, don't get me wrong. I love seeing student's eyes light up when they learn something. I knew from the day that I entered college I was destined to be a teacher. But sometimes, like today, I just want to strangle them, stuff them into a shredder, and toss the remains into the Gulf of Mexico. Oh, well. I know the world is going to change soon. Very soon. Like 'two days from now' soon.

[She stands and rises from her desk. As she rises, the camera quickly zooms in on Milady's desk calendar, which says "February 29th, 2136".]

[Milady hands back the papers.]

**Milady:** Okay, class. I want you to do this homework over again, and this time, get the problems right.

[The class groans in discontent.]

[The camera goes to a big band rehearsal hall. The high school aged band is rehearsing a wind ensemble arrangement of "Deep In The Heart of Texas". The band conductor is the Texas Powerhouse, wearing blue jeans, a red polo shirt, and white hand gloves. The band's members are all playing well. During the clapping parts, both the Texas Powerhouse and the percussionists in the back of the ensemble are clapping. Upon the song's conclusion, the Powerhouse speaks to them.]

**Powerhouse:** Not bad, guys. Not bad. Clarinets, you're still overpowering the band. Remember…balance is key.

[The camera shows a female clarinet player, Clar1, in a rickety chair that is warped out of balance. The chair rocks from side to side as Clar1 struggles to find balance in the chair.]

**Clar1:** I'm trying, Mr. Powers. It's hard!

[The camera goes back to the Powerhouse.]

**Powerhouse:** Alright, one last reminder before lunch. We will leave for Austin tonight 3:45 P.M. You will be released from your classes at 2:55 so we can leave on time. And please have everything for your uniforms. I don't wanna have to turn around again, Mr. Fallerd.

[Everyone looks in the back towards a tuba player. Brad Fallerd, the tuba player getting all of the eyes, responds.]

**Brad:** Hey, I thought it was my uniform bag. (disgusted) Uuuugh, ugliest leotard I've ever seen.

[Powerhouse, keeping a straight face, uses his pinky to clean out his right ear.]

**Powerhouse:** Yeah, I can still hear your sister screaming through the phone.

[Throughout this monologue, Powerhouse is shown in his office at his desk. He narrates as he types, prints and signs a piece of paper. He also puts it in an envelope and seals it. During this time, from the windows surrounding his office, we see band students taking their gear, including instruments, uniform bags, and some girls are carrying flags, baton bags, and make-up kits.]

**Powerhouse: **(narrating) Music is life, the rest is details. That phrase has been the moral I have lived by since I first tooted my horn. My trombone, I mean. I've always loved being a hardcore band nerd. Everything was band. Contests, All-Region clinics, Solo/Ensemble contests, Music Festivals, Conventions, flutists, you name it. All of it was for the love of music and educating its students. Every time one of my students made the State bands, I would pop open a bottle of Champagne, and party with my wife all night long. One year, I had one party a day for a whole week. That last hangover felt like a sledgehammer to my face. Still, it has been the greatest career of my life. Unfortunately, I know that by the time the weekend has come and gone, the entire landscape of the world will change and this job would never make it to the end of the year. Sad as it was, I knew that a dark, violent path laid ahead.

[The camera shows Milady signing a piece of paper, puts it into an envelope and seals it. She writes "Mrs. Noble" on the envelope. She leaves it on her desk.]

**Milady: **(narrating) And my husband knew as well as I did that it was for the greater good.

[A mysterious, closing theme is heard. Powerhouse writes, "Mr. Gritson" on the envelope and leaves it. He grabs his coat from his coat rack.]

[Milady grabs her coat from her coat rack. Both she and the Powerhouse narrate as she heads out the door and closes it.]

**Milady & Powerhouse:** (narrating) Farewell, education. Hello, opportunity.

[The Powerhouse leaves his office. The camera zooms in on the Powerhouse's desk and the envelope. **Scene 3:** The camera then fades back to color and in the Planet Express laboratory, where the Professor is holding a thin, small, rectangular frame containing a thin, purple-blue plasma screen. In the laboratory with him are Hermes, Bender, Fry, Leela, and Amy.]

**Prof:** Good news, everyone! I have developed a hand-held adaption of an X-Ray scanner. I call it, the Handheld X-Ray Scanner!

[Everyone reacts simultaneously.]

**Hermes:** Whoa, mon!

**Amy:** Cool!

**Fry:** Neat-o!

**Leela:** Nice!

**Bender:** Weird!

[Amy asks a question.]

**Amy:** How does it work?

[The Professor activates it, which makes an activating sound.]

**Prof:** Well, you know how back in ancient times, airports would scan luggage with big, bulky machines before placing them on aircraft?

**Fry:** I do. Once, I flew to Charlotte to visit my aunt and uncle. But, I had to go to the bathroom three times before I even got my tickets.

**Leela:** Did you asked someone to save your spot in the line?

**Fry: **Nah, my parents took care of me until I was seven. Besides, I like the smell of that white powder stuff.

**Prof: **Well, this device allows the viewer to scan the insides of various objects with ease. Cardboard boxes, purses, wallets, kitchen cabinets, what have you. All with a click of a button.

[The professor pushes a button, and starts looking around the room, scanning the area. These areas include the people inside the room, who immediately try to avoid and protest when the scanner comes close to them.]

**Hermes: **WHOA, WHOA! KEEP AWAY FROM ME, MON!

**Leela: ** HEY, HEY! STAY AWAY! KEEP AWAY FROM ME!

**Bender:** AW, COME ON! THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO SEE HERE! NOTHING! STOP IT, YOU PERV!

**Fry:** HEY, STOP IT! WATCH YOUR OWN JUNK!

**Amy:** AAAAHHH! KEEP YOUR EYES TO YOURSELF! COME ON! SMEESH!

[The Professor stops scanning and deactivates the device, which loses it's plasma screen when turned off.]

**Prof:** Eureka! It works like a charm. No one has any firearms and explosives.

[Bender smiles modestly.]

**Bender:** (to himself) Works like a charm. (giggles) Yeah, right.

**Prof: **Now let me show you how to scan beyond people's clothes.

[Everyone reacts simultaneously. Leela rushes to the Professor and stops him from activating it.]

**Amy:** NO! NO! STOP RIGHT THERE!

**Fry:** AW, C'MON! STOP IT!

**Hermes:** DROP IT, YOU PERVERTED APE!

**Bender:** STOP! HELP! MOLESTER! RAPE!

[Leela shoves the professor's hand with the device down and away as she speaks.]

**Leela:** PROFESSOR, NO! You need to get rid of this pointless device right now! You could be sued for 'peeping Thomas Lincoln' lawsuits!

**Hermes:** Actually, I could use that for the Jamaican Birthday Bash next month.

**Bender:** Jamaican Birthday Bash? What's the party for?

**Hermes:** It's the annual celebration when Jamaica won its freedom from the United States in 2572 and became its own rich nation. It's the one day of the year when we Jamaicans shout, "TODAY, WE KEEP OUR OWN BAMBOO!"

**Fry:** So, why do you need the professor's scanner?

**Hermes:** I've been selected by the Jamaican National Committee to organize and prepare the party, and I need some form of security to ensure that no angry outlanders get in without being properly checked out.

**Fry:** Isn't that profiling?

**Bender:** Not really, but it is in my world, buddy.

**Hermes:** (to the professor) Professor, can you make several more of these devices for the security guards? I think we can cut our Daily Jell-o Budget 15.3% to offset the costs.

[The Professor picks up a cardboard box and sets it on his lab table as he speaks.]

**Prof:** Won't be necessary. I already made a dozen of them.

[Hermes counts the devices present.]

**Hermes:** Check again, mon. There's only ten here.

**Prof:** (confused) Wha-? Check what again?

[We hear two boys snickering from behind the Professor. Hermes and the Professor look around.]

[From the takeoff platform, we see Cubert Farnsworth and Dwight Conrad trying to hide and laughing.]

**Prof:** (gasps) Cubert!

**Hermes:** (gasps) Dwight!

[The boys pop their heads up from the landing platform.]

**Cubert:** What?

**Dwight:** What's up?

**Prof:** What are you two doing hiding back there?

**Cubert:** (nervous) Nothing! We were just telling jokes.

[The camera shows Fry, the Professor, Hermes, Amy and Leela in the background with Dwight and Cubert in the foreground facing the adults, hiding an X-Ray device behind their backs.]

**Hermes:** (not buying it) Really? About what?

**Cubert:** (laughing and snorting) Oh, man. We were joking about how badly Leela needs to shave.

[Leela gasps astonished at first, then she realizes something that makes her angry.]

**Leela:** (angry) But I shaved my legs this morning.

**Dwight:** He wasn't talking about your legs.

[Cubert gasps in horror and Dwight suddenly slaps his mouth shut.]

[Leela growls and runs towards the boys.]

**Leela:** (growls) RRRRRRR! Come here, you little twerp! I'm gonna tan your cute, little ass!

[Cubert lets out a high-pitch screech as he runs away from Leela and all around the ship. Amy giggles a little. Dwight collects Cubert's X-ray device, and slides both devices onto the laboratory floor and quickly speaks to Amy.]

**Dwight:** Um…yours was worse, Amy.

[Dwight bolts away.]

[Amy growls and chases Dwight.]

[The chase, growling, and screeching continues all around the landing platform as Cubert squeals for help.]

**Cubert: **(screeching) AAAAAAAAHH! DAD HELP ME!

[The Professor gathers the devices and places them in the box that Hermes is holding.]

**Prof:** Leela, call me as soon as you have skinned my clone!

**Hermes:** And Amy, save some of my boy's dreadlocks for me. You can have the rest.

[Hermes follows the Professor out the door as Leela and Amy growl and chuckle happily.]

**Leela:** (growling happily) With pleasure!

**Amy:** (growls happily) No problem, mon!

[Cubert and Dwight both scream louder as the Professor and Hermes leave and the door closes behind them. Fry is shown pushing buttons on the demo X-Ray scanner as he's holding it up toward the chaotic chases, but he's becoming frustrated.]

**Fry:** (frustrated) Uuuuuggh! The batteries must be dead!

[An elevated shot shows the furious Amy and Leela chasing the scared, screaming Cubert and Dwight, respectively, and Fry grunting in frustration to get the scanner to work.]

[**Scene 4a:** Later on in the day, Fry is in the company lounge relaxing and watching T.V.]

[Leela enters the lounge and sits on the couch next to Fry. She has a piece of orange hair slipped onto her belt.]

**Leela:** Fry, where were you?

**Fry:** Huh? I was right here watching the ape fight. Where were you?

**Leela:** I mean, where were you while I was tanning the pervert?

**Fry:** Um, ape fight?

**Leela:** Fry, sometimes a woman would like to see her man be there for her in her time of need.

**Fry:** Eh, you had it handled. That piece of Cubert's locks will fit nicely in your trophy collection.

[We hear a rat squeaking. Leela and Fry look to their rights and see a white lab mouse with black hair on it's head. It squeaks in terror as the door opens. Zoidberg is chasing down the lab rat in a hunger-fueled craze.]

**Zoidberg:** There you are, sneaky! You're going to make a nice meal. Yes, you are!

[The lab rat screeches in terror.]

[Leela talks to Fry as Zoidberg continues chasing the rodent around the room.]

**Leela:** Fry, as flattering as you may think you are, I want you to imagine this. Say that rat was twenty feet tall, fifty feet long, and weighed over five tons. He was chasing me down the streets, and he was this close from eating me. What would you do?

**Fry:** First, I'd already be running in the opposite direction. I'd turn to you and scream, "RUN, LEELA! CATCH UP WITH ME!", then I'd run the Hell out of there and hope you were right on my heels thirty seconds later.

**Leela:** (irritated) But what if he caught me? What if he was about to swallow me whole?

**Fry:** Then I'd, uh….I would…Uh…Uhhhhh…Build the world's biggest rat trap and set it with the world's biggest pile of cheese. Hopefully, we'd catch it before his methane poisons the town.

[Leela stares at him, irritated.]

**Fry** (sighes in frustration) Seriously, Leela. What else could I do?

[Zoidberg catches the rat and speaks to it in delight.]

**Zoidberg:** (delightfully) AH-HA! Speaking of stool, you're not going to like where you're heading. No, siree!

[Zoidberg tosses the rat into the air, and swallows it whole.]

[Leela and Fry watch in disgust.]

[Zoidberg shakes and giggles erratically.]

**Zoidberg: **(slurps and giggles) The live ones are always the best. They jiggle and bounce all the way down. (giggles)

[The door opens. The Professor pokes his head out.]

**Professor:** Have any of you seen Amy? I need her to go through my neck and locate my thirty-two terabyte memory card that has all of my madcap invention sketches.

[Suddenly, a panic-stricken Hermes dashes in behind the Professor.]

**Hermes:** (panicked, worried) Professor! Dwight pointed this gizmo at Amy and it turned her into a little white pillow!

**Professor:** Wha- Ohh. That's just my experimental rodent transformer device.

[Leela and Hermes gasp in horror, and look at Zoidberg, who also realizes what's happened]

**Zoidberg: **(realizing, concerned)Uh-oh!

[After a moment, it suddenly hits Fry, who also gasps and looks at Zoidberg. Suddenly, the Professor gasps in horror.]

**Prof:** Sweet zombie Jesus! I forgot to go take my daily 10:30 dump!

[**Scene 4b: **In the laboratory, Zoidberg is stripped of his shirt and coat. He's also strapped to the work table. Witnessing these events are The Professor, Fry, Leela, Hermes, Dwight, Bender and Cubert, who's missing some of his head hair.]

**Professor:** Now that I can breathe better, we'll have to give Docter Zoidberg a sedative. Leela?

[Leela screams as she kicks Zoidberg in the head with her right foot.]

**Leela:** (loud, intense) YEEEEEEE-AH!

[Zoidberg groans and loses consciousness. The Professor takes a laser scalpel and slices Zoidberg's chest open. He continues to operate as he talks.]

**Professor:** Hopefully, we can get Amy out of there before she hits the third stomach. That's where all of the fluids and hair are removed.

**Hermes:** (to Dwight) Dwight, until further notice, you're grounded.

**Dwight:** (mad, frustrated) Awww. What will I be doing while I'm grounded?

**Hermes: **Playing ancient video games. Nothing else.

**Dwight:** (even more upset) NOOOO! My account books. Think about the account books, dad! What will they be doing this whole time!?

**Hermes:** Don't worry, son. After your four-month sentence is up, you can clean them up with the Super Swiffer 31.

[Dwight cries uncontrollably at the horrible news.]

[Cubert laughs and snorts at Dwight's misfortune.]

[The Professor pulls out a remote control from his labcoat pocket. He looks at it confused and presses the red button.]

[Bender suddenly sits up and his black eyes go red.]

[Inside Bender's head, we see in red an image of a smiling Cubert. Then the text, "Cage the Brat!" appears in white and flashes rapidly.]

[Bender extends his left hand towards the hangar.]

[Bender's hand grabs a small iron cage and takes it.]

[The Professor puts his controller back in his coatas he speaks.]

**Prof:** That's not my titanium scalpel.

[As the Professor continues digging in his labcoat, Bender grabs Cubert and places him in the cage. Cubert screeches for help, but everyone ignores him.]

**Cubert:** (screeching) AAAAHHHH! DAD! HELP ME! HE—

[Bender places a sound-proof bubble around the cage. Cubert is shown trying to scream for help, but he is not heard.]

[The Professor pulls out a metal scalpel from his labcoat.]

**Prof:** Ah, there you are.

[The Professor takes the scalpel and starts cutting into Zoidberg.]

[We hear thick liquid sloshing, and we hear loud rodent screeching. The Professor is shown pulling the spastic, slime-covered, white rat out of Zoidberg's body cavity. Bender talks to Dwight, who has mostly hushed his weeping.]

**Bender:** If you think that rat is mad now, wait until it changes back to Amy. (giggles evilly)

[Dwight speaks quickly as the Professor takes the rat and puts it into a microwave-like container big enough to hold a human.]

**Dwight:** Dad, I whole-heartedly accept my punishment with the utmost respect, and I will use all the time I have in my room to achieve the ultimate victory in Super Mario Brothers, and I will NOT use any fire-flowers!

**Hermes:** And don't even think about cheating either! I've already set up the parental lock so you won't get any power-ups or bonus levels.

**Dwight:** Good call, dad!

[The Professor presses a button on the microwave-like container. The machine lights up and makes electrical whirring sounds. Dwight bolts out of the room as lightning starts surrounding the machine. After a moment, a text box on the machine showed the word, "End" and beeped five times. The machine shuts down, and the door swings open, letting out a pillow of steam. A little dizzy, Amy steps out amongst the steam, swearing softly in Cantonese, and without clothes on. The steam gives way to Amy's intense face as she stares at Hermes.]

**Amy: **(angry) Where the HELL is your son?!

**Hermes:** Yeah, like I'd tell a naked co-ed where my son is!

[Shocked, Amy looks down and shrieks in total embarrassment as she tries to cover herself.]

**Amy:** (stunned, embarrassed) AAAAAAAAAAAAHH! MY FABULOUS BODY! IT'S EXPOSED! WHERE'D MY CLOTHES GO?!

[Fry and Leela toss Amy's sweatshirt and sweatpants, respectively, to Amy.]

**Leela:** Over here, honey.

**Fry:** Yo.

[Fry realizes something.]

**Fry:** Hey, Leela. Did you put the dryer on nuclear heat last night? My pants feel a bit tight up front.

[As Leela and Fry continue talking, we see Amy, fully clothed, running past Hermes and out the lab door.]

**Leela: **Seriously, Fry! You and I haven't been talking clearly to each other since we started dating.

**Fry:** So, what are you saying?

**Leela:** I'm saying that either you should listen to me more intently, or I will hire a counselor to help us communicate better.

**Prof:** Huh-Wha?

**Hermes:** When me wife and I started understanding each other, things got very interesting! So interesting, I don't want to offend anyone by telling you about the sacred Jamaican mating rituals. (realizes his mistake) Oop.

**Fry:** You know Leela, we really should hire a counselor. I understand Hermes a lot better than I understand you.

**Leela:** (mocking) Well then, honey, let's go to love school.

**Fry:** (excited) Finally! It's about time I got through to you.

[The Professor finally loses his patience.]

**Professor:** WILL YOU TWO INFANTS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?! I have to repair Zoidberg, clean the lab, and force Bender to give me a bath!

**Bender:** Fat chance, old fart!

[The Professor pulls the controller out of his labcoat, and presses a button. Bender's antenna lights up red again, and Bender stands up tall again, like a soldier.]

**Bender:** Your bathtub will be heated to exactly one-hundred-fifty-five degrees and today's bath lotion will be Twilight Woods!

**Prof:** Make it one-fifty-seven!

**Bender:** (salutes the Professor) Yes, sir.

[Bender marches to the open lab door, which closes behind him.]

[**Scene 5:** The laboratory door fades back to black and white and the door turns into an aeriel shot of a courtyard in Austin, Texas. The courtyard is populated with dozens of cowboys and cowgirls, young and old. They are all staring towards a concert podium where Powerhouse's band is performing their rendition of "Deep In The Heart of Texas". A text, "March 2nd, 2136 11:39 A.M." appears then fades away. Everyone is whooping, clapping, stomping their feet, and yelling, "YEEEEEEE-HAW!" as the band is playing.]

[Milady is seen among the people in the row closest to the concert podium. Standing next to her is a black man in cowboy attire, Zechariah. He and Milady are singing along and clapping with the song.]

**Milady:** (singing) The sage in bloom is like perfume. (claps four times) Deep in the Heart of Texas. Reminds me of the one I love. (claps four times) Deep in the Heart of Texas.

[The band continues. Zechariah talks to Milady.]

**Zechariah: **YEEEEEE-HAW! This hoe-down for the 300th Anniversary of Texas' Declaration of Independence is awesome!

**Milady:** Don't say hoe-down again, partner! I agree, though! The Bar-B-Q is great, the dancing rocks, and my hot stallion is showing his stuff on the podium!

[The camera goes to Powerhouse, who is conducting the band and stomping his right foot at the same time. He is in a black button down shirt with sparkling sequins that make several outlines of Texas all over, black slacks, his black boots, and his black cowboy hat. He is also donning white gloves on his hand. The band finishes the music as Powerhouse gives the cut-off gesture. Everyone in the audience is cheering, whooping, applausing, and shouting "Yee-haw" for the band. The band stands up and Powerhouse takes a bow.]

[In the audience, we see cowboys cheering and shooting their western-style revolvers towards the sky. We see a couple mockingbirds fall from the sky.]

[The camera goes back to Powerhouse who is still bowing with his band. A flurry of bluebonnets are thrown to the band with great reception. Suddenly, a horseshoe comes flying and hits Brad Fallerd in the head, taking him down. Everyone else ignores this.]

[Later, Powerhouse, Zechariah, and Milady are walking in the streets of Austin. Everyone else around them is enjoying the cookouts, washer games, beer and souvenirs. Behind Powerhouse is his band all tired and ready for home. Brad Fallerd is holding an icepack on his head with his left hand and his concert Tuba in his right.]

[The Powerhouse talks to Zechariah.]

**Powerhouse:** Partner, I truly thank you for helping me and my wife out during this field trip.

**Zechariah:** No problem, partner. I love to come on out here to Austin and seeing all them TSU girls strut their stuff.

**Milady:** (laughs) Don't you get any ideas now.

**Zechariah:** Honey, no one can stop…the Ocean of Soul! (laughs passionately)

**Powerhouse:** Anyway, when the kids get back, they all have to put their instruments up in their lockers. No exceptions!

[A loyal Saxophone player, Angel, speaks to her teacher.]

**Angel:** But sir, what about my concert solo? I still have to practice it for next week's contest.

**Powerhouse:** I know, Angel. But my bosses have told me to keep the instruments on campus until further notice because someone keeps losing their neck. Do you know who might have done it?

**Angel:** What? I don't know, Mr. Powers.

**Powerhouse:** Eh, not to worry, Angel. When we get back to school on Monday, we'll continue on the solo, OK?

**Angel:** Yes, sir.

[Suddenly, Milady's cell phone vibrates. She gets it from her pocket, opens it, and reads something on the display. She gasps in shock.]

[Powerhouse stretches as he talks to Zechariah.]

**Powerhouse:** Man, when I get back home, I'm gonna grab a –

[Milady taps her husband's shoulder.]

**Powerhouse:** Yes, honey?

[Milady shows Powerhouse the cell phone. Powerhouse reads it, and suddenly stands up tall and stiff. He goes back over to Zechariah.]

**Powerhouse:** Oh, uh, Mr. Z. An emergency has just come up that needs my attention. Will you please take the kids back home? We'll catch up later.

[Powerhouse and Milady try to leave, but Zechariah stops them.]

**Zechariah:** Whoa, hold on there, partner. You can't just leave a stranger with your 50 or so band students. It's unethical and a felony.

**Powerhouse:** I'll say again! It's an EMERGENCY THAT I MUST GET TO!

**Zechariah:** Mr. Powers, you can't just-

[Zechariah pauses and notices something in Powerhouse's eyes.]

[The wily-eyed Powerhouse nods at Zechariah. The camera looks up and over to Milady, who also nods and speaks.]

**Milady:** Don't worry. They'll listen to you.

[Zechariah nods seriously. He understands.]

**Zechariah:** I will get these kids home, even if it costs me my life.

**Powerhouse:** Make sure it doesn't cost you that.

**Zechariah:** It won't!

[Zechariah lets go of Powerhouse, who stands up facing him. Admirable, reverent music plays.]

[Zechariah admirably beats his chest twice with his right hand and gives the peace sign to Powerhouse & Milady.]

[Powerhouse and Milady tip their hats to Zechariah and run off back towards downtown.]

[Zechariah looks on as the camera zooms in on his face.]

**Zechariah:** God be with you both.

[Further into downtown, Milady and Powerhouse stand in front of a desk with some papers. They're waiting for something. Music stops.]

**Milady: **I can't believe this is happening. All those years of writing, complaining, petitioning, politicking…it's all coming together.

**Powerhouse:** It was all worth it, darling! You've done so well!

**Milady:** Yes, we have done well! COME ON! SHOW THE NEWS ALREADY!

[A man wearing a New York Yankees hat comes up to Powerhouse and Milady. He talks with a New Jersey accent.]

**Yankee:** What's the deal? There ain't been nothing interesting on the news since that congresswoman was found putting toilet paper on her husband's panties.

**Milady:** Yeah well, we always watch the news report on each Texas Independence Day in Austin, my fellow Yank. It's the only day in the year that is interesting.

**Powerhouse:** Yep, beats July 4th by a LONG shot!

[On the Austin Capital Building, there are three jumbo-trons, acting as individual televisions. A news card comes up saying, "3^2 News Report: Your Texan News Station". A brunette woman reporter of Hispanic descent appears seated in front of a news desk.]

**Hispanic Reporter:** Good Evening and welcome to Channel Three-Two News at Nine. I'm Clarissa Veranagas. The Texas Government today has announced just five minutes ago that because the United States government has failed to help, support, or listen to Texas in any way, the state of Texas has SECEDED from the United States of America.

[There is a hush of silence in the downtown crowd. After a moment, bad-ass country music starts up as ALL of the Texans in downtown Austin start cheering, jumping, whooping, and celebrating the moment. Some start shooting revolver rounds into the air, wildly.]

[Powerhouse and Milady and laughing, jumping, and embracing the victory. The Yankee is left stunned.]

**Powerhouse:** YEEEE-HAW! We have regained the right to bear arms! There truly is a gun deity in the Hell-hole called politics!

**Yankee:** What the Hell? You can't just leave the union for some six-shooter!

**Milady:** Tell that to our burning Joint Resolution, foreigner!

[On the screens, there are politicians inside the building setting a document titled, "A Joint Resolution for Annexing Texas to the United States" on fire. The applause from Downtown Austin grows louder and louder as the document burns and politicians pull out six shooters and shoot the flaming document to bits.]

[The tele-tron then shows Clarissa behind her desk dancing. She is shown celebrating like all other Texans, but suddenly realizes she's back on the air and calms down. She picks up something through her ear-piece.]

**Clarissa:** Oh, I uh…I have just received word that the United States has just declared war on Texas on account that they have left the country unethically!

[There is a hush of silence in the downtown crowd and the music stops. After a moment, the bad-ass country music starts up again as ALL of the Texans in downtown start cheering harder, jumping higher, and whooping louder in the wake of the news. More gun rounds go off.]

[Milady and Powerhouse celebrate a little bit and stare at the tele-tron intensely.]

**Milady:** Come on. SAY IT! Say it and let's go!

**Powerhouse:** Yeah, what she said. I wanna get to my barracks early tonight.

[Milady reaches back and rubs her husband's left thigh.]

**Milady:** Me too!

[The camera goes back to the tele-trons and Clarissa is shown to have received a piece of parchment. She reads it.]

**Clarissa:** This note reads, "My fellow Texans: If you want to fight for your country, and show those wimpy Americans the full-blooded fury of the Republic of Texas again, enlist in the Texas Ranger Army. Booths are found in every major city in the nation."

[The bad-ass country music fades to Epic Heavy Metal music. The whooping and eager war shouts rise again. The camera goes back to Milady, who is still rubbing on Powerhouse's thigh.]

**Milady:** Where is it, honey?

**Powerhouse:** My back pocket, darling.

**Milady:** Well then, turn around.

[Powerhouse turns his rear end towards his wife.]

**Powerhouse:** Smack it!

[Milady smacks Powerhouse's buttocks, and a red switch beeps and lights up from Powerhouse's pants.]

[Faster, louder Heavy Metal music starts. Suddenly, a sign bursts open with red, white & blue star confetti flying out from it. The sign reads, "The Texas Ranger Army: Cowboys & Cowgirls ONLY".]

[Milady and Powerhouse take a seat in the booth. They welcome the new enlisted men and women as they come gathering around to sign in.]

[One young, college-aged man signs the list and asks a question to Powerhouse.]

**Co-Ed Tex:** Any frat boys in this Army?

**Powerhouse:** If there are, we'll kill 'em dumb-asses!

**Co-Ed Tex:** It's about time someone said that!

[A woman in her late 20's signs in and asks a question to Milady.]

**20's Girl:** Both men and women. Is that ethical?

**Milady:** Only after male sterilization.

[A man with a gray beard in his 50's signs the list and asks a question to Powerhouse.]

**50's Tex:** I can't tell you how long I've waited for this dream come true. I've been wishing for this since the days of socialism.

**Powerhouse:** You mean the early twenty-first century?

**50's Tex:** Yes, sir!

**Powerhouse: **I hear you, partner! I hear you!

**50's Tex:** Any bounty for commies or Americans?

**Powerhouse:** Nothing's been set in stone since we are a young nation, but rumor has it we'll pay 50 Tex-bucks for each American butt cheek.

**Milady:** And one Tex-buck is about the value of 85 American dollars.

[The 50's Tex pulls out his shotgun and starts blasting away as he shouts. Powerhouse & Milady stand up and watch the 50's Tex run off, still blasting away.]

**50's Tex: ** TIME TO ROAST SOME AMERICAN ASS! COME HERE YOU LITTLE YANKEE! I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR TAXIDERMIST SQUEAL! YEEEEEEEE-HAW!

[Powerhouse & Milady smile at each other.]

**Powerhouse:** This is going to be epic, darling.

[Powerhouse slaps Milady's rear end.]

**Milady:** Oh yeah, baby.

[Milady slaps Powerhouse's rear end. We hear beeping. Milady lean towards each other as if their about to kiss. Suddenly, BOOM! A second round on confetti shoots off, blocking the camera's view of Milady & Powerhouse.]

[All music and sounds stop. Back in the 3013, the doorbell at the Planet Express headquarters rings. Fry's finger pushes the door button.]

[We see Fry standing at the doorway as it opens, looking into the camera.]

**Fry:** Uh, hi! You must be Miss Monroe & Mister Stallbuzzard?

[The camera shows The Powerhouse and Milady in casual office attire at the front door.]

**Milady:** Yep, that's right.

[The camera quickly zooms in with a HUGE, short, dramatic chord.]

**Powerhouse:** Well, let's get busy. (winks and clicks tongue)

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[**ACT 2** – **Scene 1. **Traditional Futurama music, with a heavy metal twist, is heard as the camera pans around the Planet Express Headquarters.]

[The music fades. In the meeting room, Fry, Leela, Amy, & Zoidberg are seated at the meeting table. Hermes and the Professor are standing up front with Powerhouse & Milady.]

**Hermes:** Attention, people. We have some visitors here today. Let's welcome Fry and Leela's relationship counselors, Miss Zaharias Monroe and Mister Travis Stallbuzzard.

[Everyone claps lightly. Zoidberg quickly looks around, as if he's looking for a bite to eat.]

**Zoidberg:** What? Where? What buzzard?

[The camera goes back to Powerhouse & Milady as Hermes and the Professor give them speaking room.]

**Powerhouse:** (modestly) Thank you. Thanks for that warm, toasted welcome. Mister Fry and Miss Leela have asked for our services for they believe that their love compatibility has some kinks that need to be ironed out.

[Fry and Leela hold hands. Everyone shouts in praise as if they are relieved of stress.]

**Bender:** That's right! Make their programs work together.

**Zoidberg:** Horray! It's like Love Connection!

**Amy:** Yeah! Teach them to "spaggle"!

[The camera goes to Milady.]

**Milady:** We've already discussed our agenda with Professor Farnsworth and Mister Conrad, and they are in total compliance of our agenda. For the first week, we will observe them as they interact with each other during work hours.

**Powerhouse:** We've already set audio/video links throughout the entire building and in places on the Planet Express Intergalactic Vehicle.

**Fry:** The Enter-genital wha-?

**Powerhouse: **The spaceship.

**Fry:** Oh. (pauses and reflects on what he said) HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

**Powerhouse:** Anyway, after we collect and analyze our data, we will hold counseling meetings with the couple during office hours.

[Hermes and the Professor smile and dance a little.]

**Milady:** But we may have to counsel after office hours if the situation calls for it!

[Hermes and Professor stop dancing.]

**Prof:** Fry, Leela, if you do not learn the pelvic pea-knuckle, I will drop you on Venus without a space-suit.

**Hermes:** Not before I bill you for wasting precious Oxygen and electricity!

**Bender:** And not before I shove a bamboo stick up both your waste pipes!

[Fry and Leela are left open-mouthed and scared.]

**Hermes:** Which bamboo sticks?

**Bender:** (points off-camera) The ones I stole.

[The camera gets Bender and what he's pointing at behind him, which are four bamboo sticks about 3 inches in diameter, and 10 feet tall, all leaning against the wall. There's a small sign on it that reads "Property of Jamaica, Stolen by Bender".]

[The camera shows Bender's face. We hear a metallic THUD! With it, Bender's eyes widen. The camera zooms out to reveal an industrial magnet with the word, "Rednex" on it, has been attached to the back of Bender's head. Bender suddenly stands up and starts stomping his right foot and clapping his hands while singing "Cotton Eye Joe" from Rednex like a square dance caller.]

**Bender:** (singing with southern accent) If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe/I'd been married a'long time ago/Where did you come from? Where did you go?/Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe?

[While Bender continues singing, Powerhouse continues.]

**Powerhouse:** You should also know that if anyone does something wrong or immoral, they will either have a folk-song music magnet attached to their heads, or take a vigorous ass-chewing from me or Miss Monroe!

**Amy:** (slightly concerned) Oh, this is gonna be a fun week.

**Powerhouse & Milady: **(sharp & commanding) SHUT UP, SKANK!

[Amy slams her head down on the desk and covers her head with her hands. After a moment, she sobs softly.]

[**Scene 2** – This is a montage segment, set to Cheap Trick's "Mighty Wings" The first clip shows Fry and Leela sitting in student desks in the Planet Express lounge, watching Powerhouse & Milady use a digital chalkboard to teach. On the chalkboard, Milady has written a title called "Dating Guidelines", along with a list of "do's and "don'ts". On the "do" list, we see "Smell Good", "Talk Gently", and "Stare at the face". On the "don't" list, we see "Burp", "Screech", and "Stare at the chest."]

[Milady motions the "do" list for the students to look at.]

[Fry slaps his head in amazement. Leela shakes her head at Fry's reaction.]

[Powerhouse motions to the "don't" list for the students to look at.]

[Fry laughs, inaudibly. He slyly eyes Leela's chest area. Leela, knowing what is happening, slaps Fry, making him whine to the teachers, inaudible.]

[Milady appears to be scolding Leela, but suddenly PUNCHES Fry, sending him flying clear across the room. Leela smiles at the play.]

[Powerhouse gives Milady a thumb's up gesture.]

[Milady writes a new title on the chalkboard, "Conversation Topics".]

[In smaller text, Milady writes, "New Trends"]

[In a bar, Milady & Powerhouse observe Fry & Leela on a date. Milady & Powerhouse, in casual attire, are sitting at a bar, enjoying a Martini & a beer pint, respectively. Fry & Leela are at a dinner table in casual attire.]

[Leela points behind Fry. Fry looks behind him.]

[Leela is pointing to a woman who is wearing earrings that generate holograms of gentle kittens.]

[Fry looks back, not interested. Suddenly, Fry points at something of too his left. Leela looks to what Fry is pointing at.]

[Fry is pointing to a guy who has a green nose ring, and he's talking to a woman who is trying in all her power not to laugh. He keeps talking to the woman, but the woman keeps restraining herself until she falls to the floor.]

[Fry laughs at the scene. Leela is a bit hesitant at first, but slowly warms to Fry's laughing and join him in laughter.]

[Powerhouse and Milady take notes of the events on their 'I-I-IPad v. 503' tablets.]

[On the chalkboard, Milady writes "Dreams" on the chalkboard.]

[In the Planet Express lab, Leela is talking, inaudible, to Fry with dreamy passion. Fry sighs in boredom.]

[Powerhouse is shown seated next to Milady. Both are observing Fry & Leela. Powerhouse appears bored. Milady's eyes flutter at Leela's speech. She glances over at Powerhouse, who, upon realizing this, quickly sits up and goes back to typing on the IIIPad.]

[Fry is talking casually to Leela. Nothing he's talking about seems to bother him in any form or fashion. Leela listens intently for a few seconds, but then, quickly becomes grossed out. She gags briefly.]

[Milady is also disgusted by Fry's offering. She just has a disgusted look. The camera goes over to Powerhouse, who shares the exact same expression as Milady. His typing slows to a halt.]

[On the chalkboard, Powerhouse writes "Feelings" on the chalkboard. He quickly adds, "Honesty is key!" Powerhouse reflects on what he wrote and adds, "…in small doses."]

[Inside a room in the Planet Express headquarters, Milady listens to Leela express her true feelings about Fry. Leela is standing as she talks about all the past times Fry drove her crazy, drove her mad, and the times when he was a tender man.]

[Milady is shown typing notes on her III-Pad.]

[In a different room, Powerhouse is listening to Fry. Fry is standing as he's talking to Powerhouse about the times that Leela made him groan, made him whine, and about the times that her tenderness really spoke to him.]

[Powerhouse is shown typing on his III-Pad.]

[In the room where Leela and Milady met and talked, we see a bulletin board with LOTS and LOTS of post-it notes and a picture of Fry on one side and a picture of Leela on the other.]

[The camera shows Powerhouse & Milady staring at the board in disbelief with their eyes wily and their teeth shown clinching.]

[The camera shows a close up of Milady's eyes. Her hair is slightly haggard as she stares.]

[The camera shows a close up of Powerhouse's eyes. There is sweat on his brow as he stares.]

[Back in Milady's eyes, her eye pupils are flaming green. Her cheek bones are also twitching slighty.]

[Back in Powerhouse's eyes, his eye pupils are flaming black. His cheek bones twitch a little as sweat beads, built on his forehead, start dripping.]

[Milady's face, eyes still flaming, starts to shake.]

[From Milady's eyes, we see a vibrating green image of Leela's picture on the bulletin board.]

[Powerhouse's face, eyes still flaming, starts to shake. His head is still sweating.]

[From Powerhouse's eyes, we see a vibrating black image of Fry's picture on the bulletin board.]

[In quick, accelerating fashion, the camera shifts between the following angles in this order: Milady's eyes, Fry's black image, Powerhouse's eyes, Leela's green image, Milady's twitching eyes, Leela's black image, Powerhouse's twitching eyes, Fry's green image, Milady's twitching eyes, Powerhouse's twitching eyes, Fry's black image, Leela's green image, Powerhouse's eyes in a green image, Milady's eyes in a black image.]

[Suddenly, Milady and Powerhouse scream in rage and throw their hands in the air.]

[The camera shows the bulletin board, in color. BOOM!]

[**Scene **3 - The bulletin board explodes in smoke, sending post-it notes towards the camera, and stopping the music. As the smoke floats and the post-it notes clear, the color fades to black and white. Suddenly, Demon Hunter's "Tie This Around Your Neck" starts.]

[Suddenly, through the smoke, an American soldier in combat uniform is thrown past the camera. A Texan soldier, in cowboy-themed combat gear, jumps through the smoke.]

[The American soldier tumbles on a battle field, but quickly gets to his feet. He tries to pull a gun, but the Texan knocks it away. The American throws a series of punches, but the Texan counters each one, and ends the attack with a vicious hand twist, kick to the American's gut, and the Texan flips him over to the ground. We see the Texan pull out a Bowie knife and kneels down toward the American.]

[The camera rises up to bear witness to the first acts of the Texas – American War. We see many American soldiers battling many Texan soldiers in the same kind of hand-to-hand combat. Most of the Americans are getting hammered by the big Texan fighters.]

[On the ground, we see a big, brutish Texan, Samien. He has two American soldiers in his hand by their throats. The Americans are struggling to fight, but they can't as they choke.]

[Samien chuckles as we see that he is missing a couple teeth, which is a scar of the war.]

**Samien:** You chicken-hearted wimps have got no chance to win this thing. You know why?

[The two soldiers squirm as their faces turn blue.]

**Samien:** You, like your leaders, can't pack any kind of Chuck!

[Samien throws the soldiers away, sending them flying well into the war field. The camera pans behind him, showing the sign, "Chuck N.o Cheese Here!" After seeing his prey fly into the pale black smoke, Samien runs off to the left into the war field.]

[The camera quickly pans along the ground as it follows a Hum-vee like vehicle outfitted for war as it plows through dust. Oddly enough, it has a resemblance of the same kind of vehicles seen in the Halo video game series. Samien's footsteps rush past the camera from behind as Samien runs toward the Humvee. The dust clears out from the Humvee, revealing that Milady seated in the pilot's seat, outfitted in identical war attire and special eyewear, and Powerhouse in the gun turret. Samien runs at the Humvee and climbs himself in. The camera pans above the Humvee as it speeds on and Powerhouse speaks.]

**Powerhouse:** Hey Samien. Good to see ya! What have you found out?

[The camera, mounted on the hood, captures the conversation. We see soldiers fighting off-side the vehicle.]

**Samien:** These Tom-boys are as weak as a haystraw!

**Milady:** Spare the obvious! What about the target?

**Samien:** Oh right! (laughing) You guys are gonna laugh your ass off! It's a fitted Ford Expedition XTL, except there's one major twist...it's made in China!

[Powerhouse, Milady, and Samien start laughing hard.]

[We get a close-up of Powerhouse laughing. He suddenly stops and his eyes go wide.]

**Powerhouse:** OH, SH-

[Powerhouse fires his gun up ahead the vehicle.]

[The bullets hit a flying car that's swooping towards the Humvee. Sparks fly and the flying car explodes. The fire and smoke embellishes towards the ground.]

[Milady and Samien yelp and they brace themselves as the flames and smoke engulf them.]

[Powerhouse kneels down for protective cover as the flames and smoke engulf him.]

[From above, we see the flame and smoke cloud being cut through by the Humvee. The smoke clears from the Humvee rather quickly as it speeds on.]

[Powerhouse rises back to his post, slightly irritated.]

**Powerhouse:** Ugh. Damn Hy-birds!

[The camera goes back to Milady and Samien, whom also rise back up slightly irritated. Milady speaks to Powerhouse while she's driving.]

**Milady:** Nice one, Powerhouse! Keep your eyes open!

[The camera from above shows the Humvee deep in a smoke and fire-laden field, no roads present.]

**Powerhouse:** You too, babe!

[The camera goes back to Milady and Samien.]

**Milady:** Samien, do you have a location on the target?

[Samien reaches back into a compartment and pulls out a futuristic assault rifle as he speaks.]

**Samien:** Yes, ma'am! It's at Victor-Bravo-Indian-6-3-niner-4.

[Powerhouse yells in disbelief.]

**Powerhouse:** HANG ON! Is that the Texas Longhorn football team clubhouse?

**Samien: **What's left of it.

**Powerhouse & Milady:** DAMN!

**Samien:** Hang on, y'all! The place is poorly protected.

**Powerhouse & Milady:** Huh?

**Samien:** It's the University of Texas.

**Powerhouse & Milady:** (realizing) Oh, duh.

**Powerhouse:** So, the Tom-boys used the University system with the most jack-asses in our country to smuggle in a top-secret weapon. You know, I may not be an Aggie, but I've always wanted to Saw 'Em off! Let's go!

**Milady:** Copy that!

[Samien and Powerhouse resume firing at enemy soldiers.]

[Suddenly, Milady screams.]

**Milady:** POWERHOUSE! HY-BIRD AT 6 O'CLOCK!

[The camera starts at Powerhouse's belt, and pans up quickly as Powerhouse uses his right hand to take a small shotgun weapon from his belt, and points it at a Hy-bird directly behind him but is about a hundred yards above the ground.]

[Powerhouse points his gun to the bottom left side of the camera. A flash is seen as the gun fires with a loud bang. Powerhouse doesn't flinch as he shoots.]

[The camera, from the ground, sees the Hy-bird explode and starts to fall toward the ground in flame and smoke.]

[A small Texan, bloodied and beaten, is on the ground. He's scared. An American, with a confident smug look on his face, is above the Texan with a club in one hand and a pistol in another.]

**American:** Heh. Texas tough, huh? That's a bunch of bull! (realizes what he says and laughs)

[As the American laughs, the Texan looks above himself. He's even more scared. He notices that the American is laughing too hard to notice him. He instantly turns around and runs away. The American carries on, not noticing that the ground around him is getting brighter and something whistles down towards him.]

**American:** (laughing) Bull! That's all you are! You are full on nothing but bull—

[SLAM! The music stops. Back in color, the Powerhouse, still disguised as Mister Stallbuzzard, slams a piece of paper, which has a red stamp that reads "Below Average" on the Professor's desk in the laboratory. Milady, still in her disguise, is right behind him.]

**Powerhouse:** What the Hell is Leela's problem?

**Professor:** I don't know what's wrong with her dilated pupil!

**Powerhouse & Milady:** (smiling, exasperated) FUCK!

[**Scene 4** – In the classroom, Powerhouse, Milady, Fry and Leela are in the classroom. All of them are standing in a discussion circle.]

**Milady:** Alright, guys. Here's what we have determined. Fry, you are the pinnacle of low-class intelligence from 20th century New York. A normal, average specimen of carbon-based life forms.

**Fry:** So, what is wrong with me?

[Powerhouse and Milady laugh gently.]

**Milady:** Let's talk about it over a pot of coffee sometime.

**Fry:** Don't you mean a cup of coffee?

**Milady:** No.

**Powerhouse:** Miss Turanga Leela, you were an abandoned infant, mistaken for an alien. It wasn't until just a few years ago that you discovered you were a mutant. Your parents thought it was better for you to live a normal life in the surface world rather than an abnormal life in the sewers. With all due respect, that wasn't a very good choice.

**Milady:** Your parents were not there to comfort you when all of those immature children teased you about being a single-eyed life form. On the other hand, those bratty children only hid their fear of you through that teasing.

**Leela:** I know. Those little bastards thought they could out-do me in everything in life. But they were wrong. Look where I am now. Captain of the great Planet Express Delivery Company. Ha! Choke on that, suckers!

[There is a pause in the classroom.]

**Milady:** (going along) Yeah, you go girl.

**Powerhouse:** All that teasing at school, along with the loneliness you felt at home, made you somewhat bitter. A bit cynical, but mostly bitter.

**Leela:** I am not bitter.

[The door opens. Nibbler walks in, begging for Leela's attention.]

**Leela:** (sharply) Get out, Nibbler! Mommy's not in the mood!

[Nibbler whines as he runs out. Just as the door closes, Leela realizes her mistake.]

**Leela: **(gasps) Nibbler, I'm sorry.

[Powerhouse grabs Leela's chin and turns her face towards him.]

**Powerhouse:** You can console him later. Right now, we need you to realize something. This ginger-boy that loves you has a low IQ, equaling those children that teased you.

**Fry:** Hey, I'm not-

**Milady:** He could have easily made you feel worse and worse about your puny existance.

**Leela:** (a little angry) Oh, if he ever -

**Powerhouse:** Then, he would have continued teasing you and teasing you until you cried like an infant who had his candy stolen.

**Fry:** (gasps)I would never-

**Milady:** Then you'd probably snap and start destroying every last bone in his body!

**Leela: **(angry) You bet your-

**Powerhouse: ** But you know what?!

**Leela:** (angry) What?!

**Fry:** (scared) WHAT?!

**Powerhouse:** He never did any of those things.

[As Milady speaks, we see Fry and Leela relax and eventually, Leela smiles in relief.]

**Milady:** Fry was the first human being to fully accept you, Leela, for everything you have and everything you don't have.

**Powerhouse: **He's the only man who has the balls to admit that he is in love with a purple-haired Cyclops who dresses like a combat soldier.

[The camera goes to Powerhouse and Milady.]

**Milady:** And if that isn't a special kind of love, I don't know what is.

**Fry:** (relieved) Wow! I didn't think I did anything right. I mean, here I -

[Fry squeals in surprise as Leela suddenly leaps into his arms and kisses him. They continue to make out passionately.]

[Milady and Powerhouse smile in their victory.]

[Fry and Leela continue making out in the background. Milady and Powerhouse join hands as the scene continues.]

**Powerhouse & Milady:** (softly) Congratulations.

[Powerhouse and Milady exit the classroom. Hermes runs up to them, panting.]

**Hermes:** You two! Where are Fry and Leela?

**Powerhouse:** In the classroom, conducting an experiment on passion.

**Hermes:** What? Experiments are meant to be done after the lesson has been shoved down the students' windpipes! It's the only legal way!

**Milady:** The lesson was finished in the proper order. They're fine and dandy.

**Powerhouse:** I think you can say that their chemistry has erupted into a beautiful solution. Here's the bill.

[Powerhouse hands Hermes a piece of paper.]

[Hermes reads the bill, which is a restaurant-like bill, except it is blank.]

**Hermes: **(confused) Huh?

[Hermes turns his head up as he talks.]

**Hermes:** Hang on. There's—

[The camera shows that nobody is in front of Hermes. Powerhouse and Milady have disappeared.]

[Hermes is confused.]

**Hermes:** (calling out) Well, wherever you are, we're not paying this blank check!

[Hermes enters the classroom. The door shuts behind him. Hermes gasps in horror.]

**Hermes:** (screaming) SWEET GORILLA OF MANILLA! THE HORIZONTAL LIMBO!

[**Scene 5** – SLAM! A metallic slam as heard as the camera swiftly bobs up and down in reaction to an impact. With the slam, the environment turns black and white and Demon Hunter's "Storm the Gates of Hell" picks up. As the first verse starts, we see the door being blown to pieces with a loud BANG! Powerhouse, Milady & Samien, all donning combat wear, quickly emerge through the door and down the hall away from the camera. Powerhouse is armed with a semi-automatic shotgun, Milady has an assault rifle, and Samien has a grenade launcher.]

[A side camera follows along-side Powerhouse, Milady & Samien. They have their weapons in a safe holstered position as they run through the hallway. Milady pulls out a small GPS screen.]

**Milady:** (softly) The weapon is in the room up ahead to the right. The door to the room is protected by two guards.

[Powerhouse holds up two fingers with his right hand, followed by a gunning gesture. Milady nods. Powerhouse points to Samien, then puts up a fist, as a sign of strategy. Samien nods.]

[The trio approaches a small hallway leading to the weapon room and stop just shy of it.]

[From another angle, we see Powerhouse slowly trying to peel his right eye down the small hallway. We see the short hallway, leading to double doors with windows looking into a laboratory. The door is guarded by two American guards armed with small assault rifles.]

[Suddenly, from the viewpoint of the American guards, Powerhouse and Milady swiftly emerge from the shadows and point their weapons at the guards. The guards respond in the same manner.]

**Guard 1:** Drop your weapons and surrender, rebels.

[Powerhouse and Milady don't even think and they drop their weapons.]

[From the floor level, we see the shotgun and assault rifle drop flat with their barrels still pointing towards the Americans. The weapons discharge with LOUD BANGS as they hit the ground.]

[The weapon rounds hit both guards in the foot, just scraping their boots. They howl in pain as they lower their weapons to tend to their wounds. Suddenly, Powerhouse and Milady enter the fray. Powerhouse starts punching the soldier on the right and Milady starts punching and kicking the guard on the left. Because the fight blows are so hard and powerful, the Americans offer little resistance, and it doesn't affect Powerhouse or Milady as they fight.]

[A close-up shot follows Powerhouse's foot as he kicks his victim in the groin area. The guard squeals like a pig as the blow lands. Immediately after the kick, the camera goes to Powerhouse's intense face.]

**Powerhouse:** SAMIEN!

[From behind, Samien, his RPG launcher in a restraint on his back, runs in.]

[Milady keeps kicking her victim in the face. The guard groans from each blow. From behind Milady, we see Powerhouse throwing his guard towards Samien. Samien catches the guard with one hand and throws the guard from the air and straight to the ground. The guard groans in straining pain. Samien picks the guard up again, by the neck, and raises him in the air.]

[Milady has her guard by the head. Powerhouse grabs the guard's feet and helps pick her guard up above the ground. They succeed without a strain.]

[With both of their victims in the air, all three Texans, with a big grunt, throw their opponents away from the double doors.]

[From the Texans point of view, both guards are flying towards the concrete wall.]

[Alongside the wall and above the ground, the camera catches an image of both guards crashing into the wall. They don't say a thing for they have been incapacitated. But when they crashed, a small red light on a tiny black box on the back of Guard2 starts flashing silently.]

[Milady and Powerhouse both pick up their weapons from the ground, dust them off, and head towards the laboratory door. Samien follows them.]

[From within the laboratory, the double doors open as Powerhouse, Milady and Samien walk through.]

["Storm the Gates of Hell" stops as a close-up shot shows Powerhouse, Milady and Samien are of awe at first, but then they all go to relieved victory.]

[Before the Texans is a 2032 Ford Expedition XXLT 4X4, blue chrome, red trim, and white-silver rims. In the cargo section of the vehicle, there appears to be a bazooka-looking weapon. It is fat enough and long enough to fit within the entire rear section of the vehicle.]

[Milady and Powerhouse smile at each other, and walk towards the vehicle. Samien is all smiles initially, but his eyebrows show that he is curious about something about this unusual weapon.]

[Powerhouse goes straight for the driver's side door while Milady walks around the front of the vehicle as she begins her diagnosis.]

**Milady:** The Ford Expedition X-X-L-T, four-by-four. Easily a V-16, six-hundred-eighty-two horsepower engine, six-speed automatic transmission, fifty-eight inch steel-aluminum wheels, twenty-eight thousand pounds of towing capability, and twelve thousand pounds of payload capacity.

**Powerhouse:** And look at what the payload is. A Sevren six-sixty-five rocket-propelled-nuclear-bomb. Looks like a pretty good thousand-and-a-half pound nuke. That'll take out about two-fifths of Houston.

**Milady:** -or the entire San Antonio-Austin Megatropolis.

**Samien:** Two questions. Why would they store this nuke in the most American-friendly university in our nation?

[Powerhouse enters the driver side seat and sits; Milady does the same on the passenger side as Powerhouse talks.]

**Powerhouse:** Maybe they were about to use it on us. They wouldn't keep it in a laboratory next to the battlefield if they were going to store it for a long time.

**Milady:** Honey, are you just now saying that the Americans have some brains?

**Powerhouse:** Only those that wear lab coats and general stars.

**Samien:** Next question. If this is a nuke, what are these-

[Suddenly, we hear gunshots from the hallway where the Texans came from. All the Texans turn their heads towards it and are a little scared.]

**Samien:** Damn it! The tom-boys are coming!

[Samien arms himself with his Rocket-Propelled Grenade launcher, turns to Milady and Powerhouse and barks an order.]

**Samien:** GO! Take the nuke back to base! I'll catch up!

**Milady:** SAMIEN! We're not leaving without-

**Samien:** YES YOU ARE! If the bastards even hit you with a shotgun, we're ALL DEAD!

**Powerhouse:** SAMIEN! YOU'RE ONE CRAZY SON-OF-A-BI-

**Samien:** NO, YOU ARE! GET OUT! NOW!

[Distant shouting is heard. Milady and Powerhouse are saddened and scared for their friend. They eventually nod to their comrade.]

[With the distant shouting getting louder, Samien, with pure passion in his eyes, nods to his comrades.]

[Powerhouse slams his door shut.]

[Milady scrambles for her seatbelt, while Powerhouse snatches the vehicle keys from the middle glove compartment. Powerhouse starts up the engine.]

[With a mighty ROAR!, the Expeditions headlights light up as the engine fires up.]

[The mighty engine roar doesn't make Samien flinch a bit.]

[We hear gears shifting. The Expedition backs up and turns toward the window.]

[With a short screech, the Expedition comes to a halt. Samien turns to his left towards the Expedition. On the other end, Powerhouse looks at his comrade, then back at the window. The focus goes back to Samien. The shouting gets louder. He starts reciting a quote from Sam Houston.]

**Samien:** "Texas has yet—

[A close-up of Powerhouse starts zooming in on him as he prepares himself. He's speaking the same quote as his friend is.]

**Powerhouse:** "-to learn submission-"

[Milady is hanging on for dear life. Her close-up starts zooming in on her as she is speaking the same quote.]

**Milady:** "-to any oppression."

[Suddenly, all sounds stop. As Samien, Powerhouse and Milady finish the quote together, we see their faces appear close-up in order every two syllables.]

**Powerhouse, Milady & Samien:** (simultaneously) "Come from what source it may."

[SLAM! The Powerhouse's foot slams the gas pedal. We hear tires screeching.]

[The guitar solos in Dragonforce's "Give Me The Night" kick up as we see and hear the Expedition barreling towards the windows of the lab.]

[From outside the lab, the Expedition CRASHES through the glass of the laboratory and blazes across Longhorn field.]

[From atop the press box, we see a senior military officer, Jeffery Brannigan, with two scientists, Geebs and Ken. They look down towards the field. Brannigan looks down in the field with his binoculars.]

[From within Brannigan's binoculars, we see a night-vision like image of Powerhouse & Milady in the speeding Expedition. The visuals in the binoculars give Brannigan an ID on both humans. Two red boxes with arrows appear over both individuals. Over Powerhouse the text in the box reads, "Texas Powerhouse, Rebel Leader 1". Over Milady the text in the box reads, "Milady, Rebel Leader 2".]

[Brannigan brings down his binoculars and smiles a smile that is identical to that of Zapp Brannigan. He barks orders to his scientists.]

**Jeffery:** Ken, press the magic red button.

**Jeebs:** WAIT! But, sir. The weapon is right there on the field. Won't we die?

**Jeffery:** Jeebs, that's not the nuclear bomb.

**Ken:** It's operation T-T.

**Jeffery: **Yep, Operation U-rine!

[Jeebs remembers and understands.]

**Jeebs:** Oh, right. I was drunk and high that night.

[Ken pulls out a remote control with a red button on it.]

[A close-up shot shows Ken pushing the red button.]

[Milady and Powerhouse are cruising right along the field. Suddenly, the music stops as black straps come from behind both seats and trap both Milady and Powerhouse in their seats. Their legs are also strapped close to the bottom of the seat.]

[From outside, the Expedition starts to transform into a flying vehicle. It starts hovering in the air. The wheels start bending outwards until the rims are facing the ground.]

[From behind the Expedition, the rear windows transform into airtight exhaust funnels.]

[From above the field, the Expedition accelerates fast and starts flying towards the camera. It eventually blazes past the camera.]

[Inside the Expedition, we see Powerhouse and Milady straining and struggling to get free.]

[The camera shows a small T.V. screen on the Expedition console. Jeffery Brannigan, in his military officer's uniform, appears on it.]

**Jeffery:** Attention, unfortunate rebels.

[Milady and Powerhouse instantly stop, and look at the screen. They've seen and heard that man before.]

**Milady & Powerhouse: **(simultaneously) BRANNIGAN!

[The camera goes back to the T.V. screen. Brannigan smiles.]

**Jeffery:** (confidently) Hi, losers! You've just been suckered into the single, greatest American scientific experiment ever demised.

[The camera shows the Expedition flying higher and higher into space, ever accelerating in speed as Brannigan is heard speaking.]

**Jeffery:** Right now, the Expedition you are now in is rocketing you to the equator. Once you arrive, the machine will straddle the line and keep rotating the earth until it reaches the speed of light.

[The camera goes back into the cockpit of the Expedition, where the overly-cocky Brannigan continues his dissertation.]

**Jeffery:** Now here is where the real fun is. My scientists believe that once the machine reaches the speed of light, it will create a wormhole, which is a passage through time.

[Milady and Powerhouse GASP in horror.]

**Jeffery:** Now, because you are traveling west, you will probably go forward in time, which means you will see the aftermath of this conflict.

[Powerhouse and Milady scream in anger and frustration as Brannigan mildly chuckles in this smug victory.]

**Powerhouse:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! RRRRRRRUUUUGHHHH!

**Milady:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGHHH!

[The camera shows a close-up of a rage-filled Powerhouse.]

**Powerhouse:** (pure rage) BRANNIGAN! BRANNIGAN, I SWEAR TO GOD! IF MY WIFE AND I MAKE IT OUT OF HERE ALIVE, PRESENT OR FUTURE, I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT DOWN YOUR FAMILY, AND I WILL FUCK THEM UP SO HARD, THEIR GONNA WISH THEY NEVER CAME FROM YOUR GOD DAMN DICK!

[The camera shows a rage-filled Milady. In the background, the blue sky gives way to the black, star-filled sky.]

**Milady:** (pure rage) ALSO, IF YOUR OFFSPRING EVER DO TEXAS ANY HARM, I WILL MAKE THEM SUFFER SO BADLY, THEY WILL BEG FOR A SUICIDE THAT WILL NEVER COME!

[Brannigan laughs at the threats.]

**Jeffery:** Heh! Well, that's not going to be my problem, now will it?

[Powerhouse and Milady SCREAM in astonished rage.]

**Powerhouse:** (intense fury) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHH!

**Milady: **(intense fury) AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!

[An image of Earth is seen and we see a small light, the Expedition, orbiting the earth. The light makes two orbits a second and it gets faster. We hear Brannigan say his farewell as the Expedition continues orbiting.]

**Jeffery:** Farewell, rebels! Say hi to your home for me!

[Inside the cockpit, we see Brannigan laughing on the T.V. and we hear Powerhouse and Milady SCREECHING in blood-thirsty hatred. The T.V. powers off.]

**Powerhouse:** (intense fury) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

**Milady: **(intense fury) SHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ITTTT!

[From the side of the cockpit, we Powerhouse and Milady in their screaming fit, trying to break free of the straps binding them to the chair. Suddenly, the red trim on the vehicle lights up in a bright, neon-light manner. This silences the scared Texans. They look as each other perplexed. Suddenly, they hear soft sparking noises. They look ahead.]

[Looking out the windshield, the earth is moving considerably fast below. Sparking noises, accompanied by sparks of electricity coming from the lit-up trim shooting towards the front of the Expedition, gets louder and more frequent.]

[Milady and Powerhouse look at each other in fear as the sparking continues. Each spark lights up their faces.]

[The camera is fixed on a scared Powerhouse. He looks straight into the eyes of the love of his life. Sparks keep filling the cockpit with flashing light.]

**Powerhouse:** I am blessed and honored to have you as my wife.

[The camera is fixed on a terrified Milady. She looks deep into the eyes of the love of her life. Sparks keep filling the cockpit with flashing light.]

**Milady:** The honor was mine. You are the true blessing, my love.

[A camera fixed from the vehicle's console shows Powerhouse and Milady staring into each other's eyes. A white glow starts to overtake the sparks in filling up the room. Powerhouse and Milady notice the brighter light. They look toward the windshield and GASP!]

[All sounds stop. From the cockpit, we see the sparks are bonding and adding to a bright void that appears to be the making of a wormhole being cut into the space-time continuum.]

[We hear soft, scared breathing from Milady. A close up of Milady's left eye shows the reflection of the wormhole. Out of fear, she closes her eyes.]

[We hear soft, scared breathing from Powerhouse. A close up of Powerhouse's right eye shows the reflection of the wormhole. Out of fear, he closes his eyes.]

[Epic music is heard. From just outside the Expedition, we see the Expedition rotating around the Earth about 8 times every second. The Expedition continues sparking and the wormhole is big enough for the Expedition to get into. After a moment, the epic music goes unresolved as the wormhole engulfs the Expedition with a crashing BANG, and disappears, leaving a pair of fire trails behind, which eventually dissipate and vanish. The image fades to black.]

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

[**Act III – Scene 1**: Back in color in 3012, the camera hovers around the Planet Express headquarters, accompanied my standard Futurama scene transit music.]

[Inside the lab, the entire crew of Fry, Leela, Bender, Amy, Zoidberg, and Scruffy meet with the Professor and Hermes. They're perplexed of the recent events.]

**Hermes:** So you mean to tell me that they used reverse psychology on you two to get you two to start mating….too?

[The camera shows Fry and Leela holding hands.]

**Leela:** Yep.

**Fry:** I'm amazed, too.

[Everyone starts clapping their hands and celebrate the historic event.]

**Amy:** Way to go, Fry.

**Bender:** Congrats, buddy.

**Zoidberg:** When will I be able to remove the new specimen, Leela?

**Scruffy:** Not bad for young 'uns.

[The camera goes back to Hermes.]

**Hermes:** That's illogical, improbable, and weird. But then, love is not an exact science.

[Bender chimes in.]

**Bender:** Unless you have Vigaria for robots. "Do or don't, baby. There's no second guessing my machine."

[Leela is still curious.]

**Leela**: Hermes, did they give you any reason why they didn't bill us for their help?

[Hermes is looking through his papers and documents on his clipboard as he talks.]

**Hermes:** No. But, it sure saved us a bungalow of dough. If I knew no better, I'd say it was almost a tax-worthy act of charity.

**Fry:** Maybe we can call them again? I'm sure they can-

[Hermes interrupts Fry with a big gasp. We see him surprised at what he found on a clipboard.]

**Hermes:** Great cow of Moscow! Fry! Leela! You never told me you're competing in the beach volleyball tournament!

[A short dramatic chord is heard as everyone gasps.]

[Fry and Leela are perplexed.]

**Fry:** What? I didn't sign up for any tournament.

**Leela:** Me neither. Are you sure it wasn't a different Fry and Leela?

**Hermes:** Unless you know another Fry and Leela that works at Planet Express!

**Leela:** Wha-? Hermes, can you get us out of it?

**Hermes:** The rules won't allow it. Until you lose, you stay in.

**Amy:** That's worse than my ex, Ricardo!

**Hermes:** Not to add salt to open eyes, but we have a schedule to keep. Everyone must pack their belongings and be aboard the ship for departure in ten minutes.

[Everyone leaves the lab, except Fry and Leela, who are still shocked. After a pause, Fry speaks up.]

**Fry:** Leela, I haven't played competitive volleyball since elementary school. If we're going to win this thing, we need to-

**Leela:** Forget winning, we need to think about how we're going to handle the humiliation of losing. Jamaican volleyball players are famous for victory gloating.

**Fry:** Well, no matter what happens, I will make sure that my woman leaves with a smile on her face. I mean, it's a beach on a tropical island in the Caribbean. I'll tell off the beach bullies, you can hurt them, they'll wimper a little and walk away. Afterwards, we can have a nice walk on the beach at sunset.

[Leela smiles at her man.]

**Leela:** I like that idea. Come on. Let's get into our swimwear and get this screw job over with.

[**Scene 2:** The image fades to black and white. We see many stars in a night sky. A text appears, reading "June 12th, 3012". It's an almost silent night in New New York as a fixed camera on an empty pier pans down showing the Statue of Liberty and part of the city's lit-up skyline. The text fades away. We hear distant explosions. Suddenly, a moderately soft WHOOSH is heard accompanied by a soft, brief wave of light, which appears to be heading towards the Statue of Liberty. Eventually, we see a slow-moving fireball flying by from above. Suddenly, SPLASH! SPLASH! Two human beings splash into the harbor within a couple yards of the camera's vicinity. Epic 2-beat heavy metal music is heard as one hand, belonging to Powerhouse, appears from the water and grabs the pier, quickly followed by another hand, Milady. Both Texans rise from the water, gasping and growling in fury. They look around the pier, and pull themselves out of the water. Their boots squeak a lot as they slowly leave the pier with water dripping from everywhere, walking past the camera. Shortly after they leave, the fireball, which is presumably the burning-up Expedition, EXPLODES into a building a couple miles away from the camera's vicinity. Several debris chunks start falling from the wreck as we hear the sound-delayed explosion.]

[We see a pier storage building with one light. Powerhouse and Milady, still mad but cautious, look around and, seeing that the coast is clear, they proceed down the poorly lit area.]

[Milady and Powerhouse keep their eyes open and looking around as they proceed down the area. Something catches Powerhouse's eyes.]

[A security guard, whistling on his patrol, emerges from around another building.]

[Milady and Powerhouse both stop and stand still.]

[The security guard turns towards the Texans and gasps.]

**Security Guard:** Hey! What are you soldiers doing?

[Powerhouse and Milady act as normal as possible as the guard approaches them.]

**Powerhouse:** Well, uh…sir. We just had a diving exercise go horribly wrong.

**Security Guard:** Swim training in land combat gear?

**Milady:** Survival training, sir. At any minute, those mountains could start a landslide and take us to a lake or an ocean.

**Security Guard:** Wait, you two don't have K-9 tags!

**Powerhouse:** Swordfish got 'em.

**Security Guard:** In the harbor?

[The guard pulls out a scanning device.]

**Security Guard:** Let me see your career chips.

**Milady:** I'm sorry?

**Security Guard:** Let me guess…don't have 'em either?

**Powerhouse:** Frankly, sir, we don't know what you're talking about.

[The guard pulls out handcuffs.]

**Security Guard:** Okay, I'm taking you in for question-

[KICK! PUNCH! KICK! The security guard takes a kick in the gut from Milady, a punch upwards in the head from Powerhouse and a kick in the head from Powerhouse. The guard falls over, wheezing, with a CLUNK! Powerhouse & Milady are confused.]

**Milady & Powerhouse**: (simultaneously) Career chips?

[**Scene **3 - Soft, dark music starts. In a Cryogenics lab, Powerhouse and Milady are in the office where Terry, the showman lab worker from the Space Pilot 3000 episode, is typing info on a keyboard. As the camera zooms out slowly, we see Powerhouse & Milady, still in combat wear, rubbing their abs. They've just been poked there so the Cryo-lab can get info on distant relatives.]

[As Powerhouse narrates, we see a shot with Powerhouse's head in the unfocused right-side foreground with Terry in focus. He is still typing. The camera zooms in gently as the narration continues.]

**Powerhouse:** (narrating) After realizing that the Brannigan bastard's experiment was a complete success, we spent the rest of the night asking a few homeless people and another unfortunate cop about 'career chips'.

[As Milady narrates, we see a shot with Milady's head in the unfocused left-side foreground with Terry in focus, still typing. The camera zooms in gently as the narration continues.]

**Milady:** (narrating) Career chips, as far as the consensus said, are tiny computer chips implanted on one's hand that tells perspective employers what career would be best for the bearer.

[Suddenly, the music stops as Terry, in his signature showman-style, explains more.]

**Terry:** (as the dedicated showman) AND YOUR ENTIRE BACKGROUND!

[Powerhouse and Milady are puzzled.]

**Powerhouse:** Huh?

**Milady:** Wha-?

[Suddenly, a cryo-officer from behind, chimes in. He was just passing by.]

**Cryo-officer:** He heard you two talkin'. Basically, all of your education, work experience, former employers, job reviews, hobbies, and references can be included on the chip, too.

**Terry:** (as a dedicated showman) IT'S AN UPGRADE!

[The cryo-officer leaves and Terry continues typing.]

**Powerhouse:** So, Terry. Let's say that you determine that one person would be best at one job, but they hate it or they don't want it?

**Terry:** (as a dedicated showman) THEN, WE BLAST THEM INTO THE SUN!

**Milady:** They take it or they die?!

**Terry:** (as a dedicated showman) YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO!

[BOOM! A Heavy Metal Drum makes an explosive blast. In-sync with the blast, the camera shows the intense, angry eyes of both Powerhouse and Milady. They both narrate as a metal chord builds.]

**Milady & Powerhouse**: (narrating) Needless to say, that struck a nerve.

[The Heavy Metal kicks up into a high, fast gear. In a single swift motion, Powerhouse and Milady stand and grab their office chairs by the top, and throw it HARD in Terry's direction.]

[Terry tries to block the chairs with his arms, but they crash into his body, knocking him unconscious. He doesn't twitch or move at all.]

[We see a keypad next to the open door. Powerhouse's fingers punch a big button in the lower row. The door slams shut. Then, Powerhouse back away from the keypad, and, with a mighty GRUNT, kicks the keypad HARD with the heel of his Cowboy-boot inspired combat boot, causing a soft, electrical explosion.]

[A smaller pair of Cowboy-inspired boots, belonging to Milady, rush over to Terry and the chairs. We see Milady's tossing the thrown chairs aside.]

[Powerhouse returns to Milady, and he speaks to Milady as he hauls Terry out of the chair and sets him on the floor, upright and in a reverent manner.]

**Powerhouse:** Copy, then fry the mainframe.

**Milady:** Where's the placement unit?

**Powerhouse:** Check the drawers. It's gotta be close.

[Milady sits at the computer using Terry's chair.]

[Milady pulls a USB 320 Megabyte flash drive from her wrist pocket.]

[Milady looks around the desk, sees something, and smiles.]

[Milady has found a USB port that has been fitted in the desktop.]

**Milady:** Must be an old system.

[Milady places the flash drive in the USB port.]

[Powerhouse speaks softly to Terry.]

**Terry:** I'm sorry, Terry. As talented as you are, you need to leave this evil system and get on Broadway. You have more appreciation out there.

[From behind Powerhouse, we hear computer beeping. Milady speaks in joy.]

**Milady:** Ah-HA! I got the program.

[Powerhouse joins Milady at the computer.]

**Milady:** Just punch in the information, upload it to the device, and implant it on the victim's, er, person's right hand.

**Powerhouse:** OW! That's sounds like it hurts. But, where's the planting device?

[Milady & Powerhouse start checking the drawers of the desk. Powerhouse starts going down on his side. Suddenly, he jumps up and screams in pain with the device attached to his hand.]

**Powerhouse:** (in pain) OW! OWWWW! IT GOT ME!

[Milady, naturally, comes to her husband's aide, but Powerhouse quickly reveals that it was a joke, just to agitate his wife.]

**Powerhouse:** Gotcha.

[Milady scoffs at the trick, and slaps her husband on the cheek, but it doesn't affect Powerhouse much.]

**Milady:** Smart-ass!

**Powerhouse:** Oh, come on. I have to joke around once in my life.

**Milady:** Jokes aside, what are we going to do with him?

[Powerhouse looks at Terry and thinks for a moment.]

**Powerhouse:** Well, he does put a lot of expression into his mundane dialogue.

[Powerhouse & Milady look at each other.]

**Powerhouse & Milady:** Actor.

[**Scene 4** - From outside the cryogenics lab building, we slowly see smoke starting to rise from the building windows and the roof. Suddenly, people walking on sidewalks outside the building begin to panic as they see the smoke rising.]

**Patron1:** O-M-G! The cryo-lab is going up in smoke!

**Patron2:** That building's burning! That building's burning! SOMEONE HELP!

**Patron3:** I had my ex-husband locked up in the cryo-lab! Someone get me a bucket! And I mean ICE!

[Inside the cryogenics laboratory, the fire alarm is blaring as the lab personnel are filing out of the building. Most are calm, but an occasional few are hysterical. As we hear three Lab Workers talking among the crowd, the camera spots and follows Powerhouse and Milady. They are both carrying Terry, still unconscious, by his shoulders out of the building, all while acting normal.]

**Lab Worker1:** Hurry up! I don't want to have a disfigured head!

**Lab Worker2:** What about the frozen people? I mean, they don't have a sprinkler system in their rooms. Won't they be upset?

**Lab Worker3:** Ah, they won't know what hit 'em!

**Lab Worker2:** That's sounds bad.

**Lab Worker3:** You don't know half of it.

[Outside the building, sirens and alarms are blaring as emergency responders arrive, including firemen and paramedics. We see Powerhouse and Milady emerging from the building, still carrying Terry. They look around. Milady spots something in the distance and points to it.]

**Milady:** Over there!

[Powerhouse looks at what Milady is pointing at, and nods his head in agreement.]

**Powerhouse:** GO!

[Powerhouse & Milady start rushing across the street with Terry. They avoid rabid pedestrians, occasional vehicles, and some responders. On the opposite end of the street, there is a homeless man, depressed, sitting there just watching the scene, not really caring. Powerhouse and Milady set Terry down just next to the homeless man. They talk to the homeless man.]

**Milady:** When he wakes up, tell him to say "Welcome to the world of tomorrow."

**Powerhouse:** And after he does that, tell him to do that at City Hall.

**Homeless Man:** Why?

**Milady:** You'll wind up being best friends. Trust me.

[Milady winks and clicks her cheek at the Homeless Man.]

[Homeless Man chuckles and hides his face in blushing embarrassment.]

[As Homeless Man is still chuckling, Powerhouse & Milady run off quietly.]

[**Scene 5** - The camera shows an aerial shot of the smoking cryo-lab as the scene unfolds. Festive Caribbean music starts as the image fades to a color aerial shot of the Jamaican Island Festival Grounds where the Jamaican Independence Party is held. In place of the cryo-lab we see the beach volleyball court, where some teams are already competing in the sport. Surrounding the volleyball court are avid sports fans, well-built men in Speedos, slender, fit women in bikinis, and a few interstellar pets.]

[On a strip of the beach, we see human females and alien females of different species lying on beach beds, getting a tan. A sign identifies the area as "Grilling Strip". Occasionally, there is an android pair flipping each tanner over when they clap twice. One android grabs the feet while the other grabs the arms, and they turn them from front to back, or vice versa. Every time someone is set down after being flipped, we hear a sizzling sound.]

[As the camera pans down along the Grilling Strip, we see Amy lying front-side down on the bed. She's wearing her blue bikini bottom, but appears to have no top. She's relaxed and enjoying the tan. A couple of guys, with their girlfriends, walk along the beach and stare at Amy as they pass by. Once their off camera, we hear a couple of slaps, both within a second of each other. Two flipping robots, having heard the clapping, rush over to Amy's area, look around, and, thinking Amy clapped, start to grab Amy's hands and feet.]

[At the volleyball court, we see Fry, in red swim trunks and white t-shirt, standing next to Leela, in a sexy violet bikini. They are observing the current game in the tournament.]

**Fry:** I gotta admit. These guys are good.

**Leela:** Yeah, just beware of the kills.

**Fry:** Huh?

[On the court, we see, on both sides of the net, a team player of Jamaican descent and the other, a Spaniard, both jump up. The Jamaican hits the ball VERY hard into the Spaniard's face. The ball bounces off the Spaniard's head and flies straight into the air while the Spaniard falls flat on his back. The music stops and crowd gasps. The Jamaican celebrates his supposed point, but for a moment nothing happens. Suddenly, the volleyball from the air hits the Jamaican on his head, knocking him to the ground.]

[We see Leela catching the volleyball. We hear an American announcer through a loudspeaker.]

**Announcer:** Point—Spain. Match—Spain.

[We see a bunch of Spaniards, dressed in Tropical Paradise wear and partying on their section of the beach with grills, burritos, fajitas, and a few cases of tequila. Upon hearing the announcement, they celebrate their victory by whooping and cheering. Suddenly, a Jamaican Bullfrog, a big, black frog with green spots and horns on top above their two red eyes, hops up next to them and croaks. Suddenly, the Spaniards stop everything and look down nervously. They see the Jamaican Bullfrog, and SCREAM IN FEAR as they run for the beaches.]

[On the Grilling Strip, we see the Spaniards running away, still screaming in fear. They kick up a brief cloud of sandy dust as they run off into the sunset. The Jamaican Bullfrog croaks as it slowly hops in the direction of the fleeing Spaniards. A few people on the Grilling Strip notice the frog croaking by, but pay it no mind.]

[The camera goes back to a surprised Fry and Leela.]

**Fry:** What's up with them?

**Leela:** Ever since the great Bullfrog invasion of 2810, Spaniards always had this fear of any kind of horned frog, like the Jamaican Bullfrog. To remind them of that fear, Spain holds the Running of the Frogs every year.

[Fry is seen with a calculating move in his eye.]

**Fry:** No bull.

**Leela:** Nope. They got rid of that stupid thing in 2409.

[The following scenes are a montage of the championship volleyball game between Spain and New New York (Fry and Leela) set to uplifting Caribbean-style music.]

[Fry serves up the volleyball.]

[Spaniard 1 hits the ball using underarms.]

[Leela sets up the ball by thrusting up with both of her hands. We see Fry approaching the net from behind, jumps, and hits the ball viciously down and away from the Spaniards. It lands just out of Spaniard 2's reach and bounces away. We hear the announcer as the camera goes back and see Fry and Leela high-fiving each other.]

**Announcer:** Point—New New York.

[We see several Americans, dressed in patriotic beachwear, in the audience cheer on for their countrymen.]

[We see Spaniard 1 hitting the ball hard.]

[We see Fry diving for the ball, but it lands in front of his face and kicks sand in his eyes. We hear the announcer as Fry consoles his eyes.]

**Announcer:** Point—Spain.

[We see the Americans boo and jeer at their opponents.]

[Leela consoles Fry as he picks himself up and coughs out the sand. From the audience, we see a suave-looking Spaniard, obviously not part of the crowd that ran away. He appears to be a little confident, and he chides his opponents from the crowd.]

**Suave Spaniard:** Congratulations, carrot-top. You and 'senorita one-eye' there kept this match close. Never thought I'd see that.

**Fry:** Hey, I am not a vegetarian. If I was, I'd be allergic to your hair semen.

**Suave Spaniard: **How dare you! I'll have you know that this hair is covered with the best semen in all of Spain!

**Leela:** Really? Who's your boyfriend?

[We see Spaniard2 chime in from across the court.]

**Spaniard2:** I am!

[Suddenly, some in the crowd erupts in grossed-out expressions upon hearing this discussion while others erupt in laughter.]

[We see Suave Spaniard getting teased at and laughed at. He tears up and runs away crying.]

[Back in the court, we see Spaniard2 really mad. He growls and runs from across the court and towards Leela.]

[We see from Spaniard2's point of view that he is charging towards an unsuspecting Leela, who is watching the teasing scene with tearful eyes.]

[We see a close-up of Spaniard2's eyes go from anger to shocked sympathy.]

[From the side, we see Spaniard2 stop in front of Leela, who is shocked to find the approaching Spaniard2.]

**Spaniard2:** Senorita, why are you so sad?

**Leela:** (choked up a little) Well,…I…

**Fry:** I know why.

[The camera focuses on Fry and it softly zooms in as Fry speaks.]

**Fry:** Leela was teased and picked on because she was a Cyclops. She hated that no one accepted her for who she truly was. And she saw you and your boyfriend go through the same thing just now. Now personally, I think the gay way of life is disgusting, BUT we are all human beings nonetheless. Everyone should live in peace without being teased or picked on just because they're different. Besides, that sounds pretty immature, don't you think?

[Leela rushes into Fry's arms and hugs her man.]

**Leela:** Oh, Fry.

[Spaniard2 tears up a little.]

**Spaniard2:** Oh, muchas gracias, senor. Muchas gracias.

**Fry:** No prob.

[Spaniard2 runs off. Fry notices this.]

**Fry:** Bu-wait. Hey, what about the-?

[Spaniard2 runs off into tropical palm trees. Suddenly, the announcer speaks breaking the silence.]

**Announcer:** Game—New New York!

[Festive Caribbean music starts up. Suddenly, everyone in the crowd, except for the Jamaicans, cheer for the champs.]

[Hermes presents the big golden trophy to Fry and Leela, who accept it in astonishment. Fry inquires to Hermes.]

**Fry:** Wait, Hermes! How did we win?

**Hermes:** Easy. In the championship match, if one team is off the court for more than five seconds, they are disqualified.

**Fry:** Neat.

[Fry and Leela hold their trophy up for the world to see. Hermes steps back and applaudes the winners.]

[A telescope from above sees the celebration continuing. We see Fry and Leela holding up their trophies in victory. We then see Leela lowering the trophy and gives Fry a BIG kiss in victory.]

[From within a spaceship, we see Texas Powerhouse and Milady, both smiling, looking through individual lenses that are hooked up to one telescope. Powerhouse is dressed in a black button-down shirt with a pocket at the left chest, black jeans, and black cowboy boots. His trench coat is on an old-fashioned, wooden coat rack in the spaceship. Milady is sporting her black Capri pants, her black, skin-tight, short-sleeved shirt, a short tailed black coat, black cowboy boots, and black cowboy hat.]

[Milady and Powerhouse like what they see. They leave the microscope. The festive Caribbean music fades to calm, resolving music.]

[We get a better view of the spaceship. Basically, it's a one-room, small apartment. The walls have various items, like pictures of bluebonnets, pictures of purple buttercup flowers, images of downtown Dallas, downtown Houston, and the Tower of the Americas in San Antonio, images of cowboys on horses with the sunset, images of cowgirls in short shorts and tied-up shirts resting against a wooden fence post with the sunset. There are shelves populated with various items, including some relics of war, including lug nuts from the Texas war hummers, spurs, and worn down horse-riding rigging. At the front of the ship are two piloting seats, made of leather. The pilot controls are made of black leather with a white outline of the state of Texas etched into the top of each one. The windows are bifocals, as in they dim for bright light, and clear up for no light. In the back end there is a work counter, populated with several drawers and cabinets underneath.]

[We see Powerhouse and Milady leave the telescope and go to the counter area. We hear Powerhouse narrate as Milady goes into one drawer and pulls out the Career Chip implanter and sticks the remover in Powerhouse's right hand. Powerhouse prepares for the pain as Milady approaches with caution.]

**Powerhouse:** What we saw were two silly children who, at first, were too scared to realize their true feelings. But they learned that with a little faith and understanding, the skies are the limit.

[We see Powerhouse's face screaming in pain, but it is inaudible. Milady narrates as we see this.]

**Milady:** Where once was pain…

[We see Fry partying with Leela in the victory celebration, inaudible. Milady narrates.]

**Milady:** There is life.

[Powerhouse, with caution, takes the Career Chip implanter, and sticks the remover to Milady's hand. He digs, inaudible.]

[We see Milady's face screaming in pain, in audible. Powerhouse narrates as we see this.]

**Powerhouse:** Where once was fear….

[In the midst of the party, we see Leela hugging Fry with sincere passion. Fry enjoys the feeling, and reciprocates. Powerhouse narrates.]

**Powerhouse:** There is comfort.

[Still inaudible, Powerhouse is leaning on the counter in pain, trying to recover from the pain of the career chip being removed. Milady takes Powerhouse's right hand, and kisses it in a consoling manner. Milady narrates as this occurs.]

**Milady:** And wherever there is a heart to mend….

[Enjoying what he felt, Powerhouse does the same for Milady's right hand. Milady feels consoled and looks dreamily into her man's eyes. Powerhouse narrates.]

**Powerhouse:** There is a beautiful garden of relief.

[Suddenly, Milady claps her hands twice in the air and barks a command to the spaceship.]

**Milady:** Computer, take us home!

[The computer beeps, and the engines start firing up.]

[Outside, we see the spaceship. It looks like a sleek, black, "V"-shaped vehicle reminiscent to some nuclear warships of the distant past. There are no distinct markings on this vehicle. The engines fire up and it speeds away from the island and towards the ocean waters.]

[The resolving music grows louder and bigger. Back inside, we see an inaudible, slow-motion close-up of the Powerhouse and Milady, their hats removed. They are leaning towards each other, as if to kiss.]

[As twilight approaches on Jamaica, the party has died down. Bender is looting all the valueables, including sunglasses, tequila bottles, and bamboo sticks. Hermes is documenting all of the finances on his clipboard. Amy, covering her bosom with her left arm, is running around the beach, frantically looking for her bikini top. The Professor, physically exhausted and in a blue thong, is slowly making his way towards the Planet Express ship. The last thing we see is Fry and Leela discretely sneaking into a vacant cabin.]

[The cabin, with a cot, is poorly lit. We see a close-up of Leela, appearing to be topless, resting on the cot. In inaudible slow-motion, we see Fry, also appearing to be without a shirt, approaching Leela, as if to kiss.]

[The music continues to grow louder and more triumphant. In the spaceship, we see an angle where the windshield is looking at the sunset while Powerhouse and Milady are covered in shadows. We can see that they are still moving in to kiss with the sun in the camera's face.]

[In the cabin, we see Leela's lips open as Fry's lips move in. As they get closer, a soft white light starts to grow from both sets of lips.]

[In the spaceship, we see the shadows of Powerhouse and Milady embracing each other in kiss. The sun coming from the windshield shines brighter and starts engulfing the shadows.]

[In the cabin, the white lights from the lips engulf the view as the lips meet and Fry and Leela engage their passion. The whole screen is engulfed in white light as the music hits a high point.]

[The music continues in triumphant fanfare as the camera fades to black and reveals the Executive Producer's credits. The music resolves and the credits fade to black.]

[CREDIT ROLL: The Futurama theme with a heavy metal flavor is heard as the end credits roll.]

**THE END OF PART 1 OF 3**


	2. Chapter 2: Revenge of the Kif

**Futurama: Revenge of the Kif**

Based on Characters Created & Developed by

Matt Groening & David X. Cohen

Teleplay by

TheTexasPowerhouse

**WARNING!**

_Mature Material Including:_

_Sexual Content & Innuendo_

_Adult Language_

_Violence_

**Fiction Rating: M**

[The traditional "Futurama" title appears and the subtext reads, "Irked by Few, Embraced by Many, Feared By All". The title continues normally. On the old T.V. screen appears the scene from "Popeye Meets Sinbad the Sailor" where Popeye is pummeling Bluto, who is Sinbad, while hanging onto a palm tree. The screen then shows the creator credits, then the developers' credits before the Planet Express Ship crashes into the T.V. screen.]

_[__**Act I – Scene 1:**__ The Nimbus flies in space towards the camera as a heroic, military theme is played.]_

_[The theme continues as the camera shows an aerial shot of the Mess hall of the Nimbus, where all the DOOP soldiers and officers are eating.]_

_[The next camera shot shows an officer at the officer's table. The camera then pans along to the right, showing more officers eating. The first few are lieutenants and pilots, who are all enjoying the fine dinner of smoked ham, green beans, white wine & soufflé. The music concludes when the camera pans to and stops in front of Zapp Brannagan and Kif Kroker. Zapp is admiring the meat while Kif seems depressed while eating his greens.]_

**Zapp:** I gotta tell you, first officer. This smoked ham is as flavorful as it is tender. Just like a woman.

**Kif: **I can only imagine whatever you said, sir. I'm fond of the green beans, myself.

**Zapp:** That's why you're so weak and pathetic, Kif. No meat, no feat. Just remember that, Kif and your life will be better left to rot.

_[Kif grunts in disgust. They hear a man panting. Kif and Zapp look to their right. _

_[A young officer, named Barstow, runs from an open door towards the officer's table with a thin video tablet in hand. He stops in front of Zapp.]_

**Barstow:** _(panting)_ Sir, we just received a distress call from Chemtron 76.

**Zapp:** Chemtron 76? Isn't that one of the planets where we sent all of our deadly exhaust gases during the relocating period of 2974?

**Barstow:** Kinda, sir. It's one out of the 95 Chemtrons.

**Kif:** To be precise, it started when the United States passed the Clean Air & Relocation Act of 2054. Our next shipment is due to go out in 3029.

**Zapp:** Spare me the history, Kroker. Look Barstow, I will not send wave after wave of my own men down to that gassy hell-hole unless it's for a reasonable cause.

_[Barstow hands him the video pad, which has a logo on top that reads, "IIIPad 140.3.]_

**Barstow:** Sir, the people in distress is a bunch of alien women.

**Zapp: **_(unmoved)_ Uh-huh.

**Barstow: **They are human-like aliens, have many colors, and are wearing bathing suits.

**Zapp:** _(somewhat interested)_ Huh?

**Barstow:** And one of them is a hideous form of green.

**Zapp: **_(immediately takes the IIIPad; totally interested)_ Lemme see! Lemme see! Lemme see!

_[Zapp taps the screen. The camera shows the IIIPad displaying an image of twelve beautiful aliens that appear mostly human. Some have razor sharp vicious teeth, some have piercing red eyes, and others have a demon-like tail. They all wear bikinis of various styles and colors, and each one has a different skin color, completing the color spectra of a rainbow. These aliens are locked inside a steel-walled prison with a force-field door. The first woman on the left talks. She is a dark red-colored woman in a bright, sparkling red bikini. She also dons green eyes with flames rising away from her eye pupa.]_

**Red Woman:** To whoever finds this message. We are the supermodels for the Sports Illustrated Platinum Swimsuit Rainbow edition.

_[The camera shows an intrigued and aroused Zapp.]_

**Zapp:** R-R-R-Rowr! I hope there's a fiery pot of gold at one of your ends.

[The camera goes back to the video screen and a somewhat dark Orange-colored woman with a fire-laden tale and frizzy hair, wearing a bright sparkly Orange swimsuit. She also speaks desperately.]

**Orange Woman:** We were on our way to Beachworld 12 to complete our photo shoot when a bunch of gassy amoeba-like jerks captured us. Help us, please!

[The screen shows the green colored woman. She has scaly skin, blue eyes, has fangs in her mouth, and is wearing a slick, sparkly bright blue bikini.]

**Green Woman: **(coughing)And hurry! The Methane is getting too strong.

[The camera goes to Zapp and Kif. Zapp lets out a dreamy sigh as he continues to watch the screen. Kif stands and starts to walk behind Zapp, when suddenly, he starts choking. He struggles to gasp for air, and eventually falls to the ground.]

[The camera shows an aerial view of the entire dining hall. Most of the troops have already passed out. Some are whining and struggling for clean air.]

**Troop 1:** (gagging) Oh, God! Help me!

**Troop 2:** (gagging) Air! I need-(coughs)-! Need air!

**Troop 3:** (gagging) Must—(coughs) Eject-(chokes) from ship!

[Zapp is still entranced by the women on his IIIPad. Then he sniffs the air and takes his mind off the IIIPad.]

**Zapp:** (offended) Phew! Bernstein! I thought I told you to tighten that Methane fuel pipe two minutes ago!

[The troops gag harder.]

**Troop 4:** (gagging) Bernstein's dead!

**Zapp:** Not talking, huh? Fine! Bernstein, consider yourself demoted!

[**Scene 2a:** The camera shows a side shot of the Planet Express headquarters in New New York on a bright day.]

[Inside the building, in the living room, Leela and Fry are sitting on the couch talking watching T.V.]

[The door opens, and Amy comes into the room.]

**Amy:** Hey, guys. Are you two doing anything right now?

**Fry:** Yeah, she is.

[Leela turns off the T.V. and turns to Amy.]

**Leela:** No, what's up?

**Amy:** Well, being a wife-in-training, I need to relieve my stress the only way I know how.

**Fry:** Wife-in-training? Kif asked you to marry him?

**Amy:** Not yet. But I know he will….someday…...very, very soon….on the ice crystals of Haley's comet.

**Leela:** What do you want to do to take your mind off of your intended?

**Amy: **Shopping.

**Fry:** You did that yesterday.

**Leela:** Fry, when a woman needs to catch up on her shopping, she needs to catch up.

[**Scene 2b - **Outside the Planet Express Headquarters, Leela and Amy walk outside and start down the sidewalk.]

**Leela:** Seriously, what do you need this time?

**Amy:** I dunno. We'll see what they have.

[Amy's cell phone rings. She recognizes the ringtone, and gets excited.]

**Amy:** Kif-y!

[Leela steps back from Amy, but both continue down the sidewalk as Amy talks in her cell phone.]

**Amy:** Hello? Kif-y! How are you, my tender tadpole?

[She listens in. We don't hear Kif's side of the conversation.]

**Amy:** A rescue mission?

[We see Amy disgusted.]

**Amy:** Chemtron 76? Eww, gueesh!

[Then, Amy's face becomes slightly jealous.]

**Amy: ** Well, I guess if you need to rescue those colorful hookers….wait a minute. Zapp just wants to get lucky, doesn't he?

[Amy smiles with confirmation.]

**Amy:** Thought so. Okay, Kif-y. Just call me as soon as you're safe, okay? Okay. Love you, too. Buh-bye.

[Amy hangs up.]

**Amy:** Let's go to "Cindie's Toe".

[**Scene 3:** In space, we hear a battle theme starting as the Nimbus spaceship passes the camera and is seen going towards a grayish planet with purple streaks. As the Nimbus continues towards the planet, we see a text appear that reads, "Chemtron 76". Below that, a smaller text appears, reading, "One of the 98 Serial Killer Planets".]

[In a situation room on the Nimbus, we see Zapp, Kif, and six other officers in front of the rest of the Army. A military cadence continues through the discussion. All of them are wearing special acid-proof spacesuits.]

**Zapp:** Men, I probably don't need to remind you, but this is one mission in which your class A Uniforms are prohibited. We're going to rescue the sexy girls of the Sports Illustrated Platinum Rainbow Edition.

[All of the Army soldiers start whooping and cheering in excitement.]

**Zapp:** Holster your weapons, Men!

[The soldiers stop instantly, smiling in anticipation.]

**Zapp: **We can't just storm on that planet like a bunch of sex-hungry dogs. It'll scare the girls and I'll never have sex with any of them. Now, we are currently approaching Chemtron 76, one of the deadliest planets in the universe. Even though it has no life forms, the air on that planet is not really air. Kif can re-explain this to you and why you're wearing these gay-looking spacesuits.

**Kif:** The atmosphere is a deadly infusion of acid, methane, fluorine, and chlorine. If you inhale even one whiff of it, you will be rendered unconscious in six seconds and your throat will be eaten up. The space-suit will protect you from the hazardous gases, but only for a short time. We have to complete the mission in less than 30 minutes. If we stay there any longer, the acid will start to eat away.

**Zapp:** Like a woman on a woman. Thank you, Kif. Because time is of the essence on this mission, we're going to have to disperse an even number of you men throughout the entire planet. Once the girls are located, we will activate your flashing beacons which will bring you back to the Nimbus. But let me tell you. If you come back here even a second before your suit eats you, I will personally send you back to the planet without a suit. No man is going to return a coward. Is that clear?

[All the soldiers respond together and with pride.]

**Men:** YES, SIR!

[The music stops. Zapp and Kif are caught off-guard by the uniform response from the Army.]

**Zapp:** Wow! Whoa, uh, I must say, you, uh-you men made me feel exceptionally proud to be your commander.

**Kif:** That's probably because you presented them with a flawless plan that doesn't include a certain kind of doom.

**Zapp:** And you're just now picking up on this, Kif? I'm ashamed to call you my protégé.

[Kif groans at Zapp's incompetence.]

[**Scene 4: **We hear heroic, epic music. From Chemtron 76, we see an angle from the planet's crater-filled, rigid surface. The planet is filled with methane fumes, and fumes from other hazardous materials, giving the atmosphere a thick, light green, dark green complexion. There are no life forms present as the planet is hazardous to life. We see the Nimbus crawling its way through the atmosphere above the planets' surface. As it's crawling, we see some members of the Army being shot out of cannons, located on both the port and starboard sides of the Nimbus. The Men are shot out one by one, but at a gentle rate of speed and they descend gently to the surface, due to the light gravitational pull.]

[In the air and from the starboard side of the Nimbus, we see Men being shot out. We also hear the men whooping and cheering with joy.]

**Men 1:** YEEEEEEE-HAW! Let's go catch them babes!

**Men 2:** WHOO! Wicked, dude!

**Men 3:** YEEAAHH! Who cares if I'm gay!?

[Suddenly, the cannon chokes and stalls. It misfires twice before it finally shoots out Zapp. He is followed by Kif.]

**Zapp: **Oh, Yeah!

**Kif:** (sighs initially) Thank you, sweet God!

[We see Zapp and Kif land on the surface. They talk as they walk among the craters.]

**Zapp:** Kif, old friend, it feels good to be back on the field. Kinda reminds me of a younger me. Back then, all the girls were all over me like bees in a pond of sweet, sexy honey.

**Kif:** That seems to make sense to me, sir.

**Zapp:** It's about time my golden wisdom found a home for you.

[The music stops when we hear female screams and shouts come from off-screen. This stops Kif and Zapp.]

**Woman 1:** HELP! PLEASE!

**Woman 2:** ANYBODY OUT THERE?!

[From behind Zapp and Kif, we see a cave where the screams are coming from. We hear more screams.]

**Woman 3:** GROSS! This place stinks!

**Woman 4:** Girl, have you smelled your tampon lately?

[A flute and drum cadence starts up as Zapp bolts into the cave. Kif runs in, trying to catch up.]

[In the cave, Zapp activates the lights on his spacesuit. It lights up the jagged cave. He continues running in.]

**Zapp:** Have no fear, you sexy starlets of the stars. The Zapper will win your hearts.

[Inside the dark cave, Zapp, his spacesuit lighting the way, runs through the crevasses and deeper inside. Zapp is as fearless and motivated as he can be.]

[We see a close-up of Zapp. He's panting a bit, but he's determined as ever.]

**Zapp:** (panting, calling) Girls, it's Zapp Brannigan! Where are you?

[The camera still fixed on Zapp, still panting, as we hear a girl's voice echoing through the chambers.]

**Woman 2:** We're here! Keep coming!

**Zapp:** Trust me, I will!

[We then hear half a dozen girls' voices giggling at Zapp's remark. Zapp smiles upon hearing this.]

[Further inside, the giggles get louder as Zapp continues running inside.]

[From a fixed angle, we Zapp approaching. The music stops as Zapp stops and gasps at the sight.]

[We hear female voices vocalizing with a sexy, upbeat dance tune. What Zapp sees is what appears to be a glass container, and inside are the twelve Sports Illustrated models. They stop, look at Zapp, and start cheering, jumping up and down as well.]

[We see a close-up of Zapp's eyes. He sees something he likes.]

[On the blue model, we see her jumping and her bikini top is holding up her bosom. The bosom bounces with each jump. Zapp groans as he is aroused.]

[Zapp approaches the glass container, and starts speaking in his usual heroic-like manner. The girls stop celebrating and listen.]

**Zapp:** Good evening, ladies. I am Zapp Brannigan of the Starship Nimbus. I am the stallion who had found your distress message the sexiest cry for help I had ever heard. As soon as I pry open this clear jail cell, I'll take you to my ship where you can all become my ladies of honor.

[Woman 1, the orange girl, points behind Zapp.]

**Woman 1:** The access cards are on the shelf behind you.

[Zapp looks to his back left.]

[We see a crudely built wooden plank with a couple of cards on it.]

[From the shelf, we see the cards in the foreground with the container and the ladies in the background. Zapp talks as he walks over to the plank and takes the cards.]

**Zapp:** (chuckling a little) This is, by far, the most stupid plot ever demised by the biggest moron in the known universe.

[As Zapp continues, we see the girls fading away into a black cloud. The music fades away as the girls do.]

**Zapp:** I mean, seriously. Who else locks up the hottest girls, and leaves the keys for the hero to find? I mean…WOW!

[Zapp turns around as he talks.]

**Zapp:** You'd have to be a….

[We hear a terrifying screech in the violins as Zapp gasps at the pitch black cloud in the container. He quickly draws his laser blaster weapon.]

**Zapp:** Evil-looking, dark cloud thingy! I demand that you release the hot babes that you have consumed, or I will blast you to...uh, wherever you came from.

[We see the black cloud. At first nothing happens, but suddenly, fast, intense, scary music starts along with a big WHOOOSH! sound. The "WHOOSH" is for a ferocious-looking skull, accompanied by machine guns on both sides of the skull, which appeared from within the cloud. The skull is cackling with a growling, evil demeanor. We see the machine guns cocking and trained on Zapp.]

[Zapp squeals in terror, then starts firing his weapon at the skull.]

[From an angle, we see the glass container shatter as Zapp fires six shots at the cackling skull. But, the laser blasts do nothing but go through the skull and cloud and hit the cave walls, causing rock to explode and shake the cave a little. We can tell by the interference caused by the laser blasts that the cloud and skull are computer generated holograms.]

[Zapp gasps in sheer terror as he is too scared to fire anymore. The skull is still cackling.]

[We see the dark cloud, cackling skull and machine guns. The machine guns start to spin, fly backwards and appear to disappear in the cloud. The cackling skull enlarges a little, then screams.]

**Skull:** (cackles, then SCREAMS)SUCKER!

[Suddenly, the music stops as the image disappears. From within the container area, we see a small yellow light attached to a box, and it beeps three times. Suddenly, BOOM! The box detonates.]

[From an angle, we see the box explodes and sends sparks around the area. It also destroys the remains of the glass container.]

[A close up of Zapp shows shattered glass flying at him. One piece destroys the glass bubble protecting his face. The gases inside Zapp's spacesuit expels as Zapp gasps for air, but none available.]

[We see Zapp falling to the floor, coughing and gasping for air. His hands reach out for help.]

**Zapp:** (weakly) Kif…..(coughs)…Kif. Help.

[Kif runs around the corner. He is okay and his suit, also lit-up, is intact. Kif sees Zapp, gasps, and radios a distress call.]

**Kif:** Kroker to Nimbus! Kroker to Nimbus! Zapp is down. I repeat, the commanding officer is down.

[Kif listens to his earpiece.]

**Dispatcher:** What about the models? Are they okay?

[Kif looks around the cave.]

[All Kif sees is smoke, fumes, and shattered glass.]

**Kif:** They were never here. It was a trap. Someone wanted to kill us.

[Kif goes back to Zapp, and tries to pull him up, but to no avail.]

**Kif:** Activate the Rescue Magnets. We must leave immediately.

[A green light lights up on Kif's suit and the same happens on Zapp's suit. Suddenly, a magnetic force whisks Kif out of the cave safely. Zapp barely moves at first, but then, he starts to roll over for the exit. The roll-overs increase exponentially, taking Zapp all over the debris and glass. Finally, Zapp is lifted out of there safely.]

[Outside the cave, the Nimbus is collecting all of the Men, who are disappointed upon hearing the news of the mission.]

**Man 1:** Damn it! It was a joke? Just a little tease?

**Man 2:** Dang! I was gonna ask the blue one to marry me.

**Man 3:** So what's next? We're gonna rescue a bunch of cheerleaders from Sweat World 23?

[**Scene 5:** From space, a sad military theme is heard as the Nimbus flies out of ChemTron 76.]

[Inside the medical wing of the Nimbus, we see a few professional medics treating the moaning, coughing Zapp, who's in a medical patient's robe and on a medical bed. Also in the room is Kif, in his Class A Uniform.]

[From the floor, we see a male doctor, the Texas Powerhouse in disguise, approach Kif. On the other side of Kif is a sexy, female nurse, Milady in disguise. The music fades as Powerhouse speaks.]

**Powerhouse:** Kroker, I'm afraid until we can stabilize him, there's not much we can do. I guess you're the acting commander until Brannigan recovers from this severe methane illness.

[Kif is nervous under the stress, but tries to keep calm.]

**Kif:** (gasping a little) Okay. It's okay, Kroker. You can do this.

[Milady offers a radio transmission device to Kif.]

**Milady:** Sir, do you think it would help if you talk to the crew?

[Kif nervously takes the device from Milady.]

**Kif:** (nervous) Well…um…maybe.

[Powerhouse calls to the rest of the medics.]

**Powerhouse:** Ladies and gentlemen, let's leave the room so the acting commanding officer can have a moment.

[All the medics leave the Medic wing and enter the main hallway, including Powerhouse & Milady.]

[As Powerhouse and Milady walk casually down the hall, they keep an eye on all the medics. Eventually, all of the medics walk into various rooms. Once all is clear, Powerhouse and Milady start running away.]

[Rounding a hall corner, Powerhouse and Milady find a vacant closet and enter it. The door closes quickly.]

[Inside the medic room, Kif calms himself down, and takes a deep breath. He brings the device to his mouth as if to speak.]

[A close-up on Kif's hand shows Kif's thumb pressing the 'Speak' button. Suddenly, suspenseful music starts as two fang-like prods quickly stab into Kif's arm, and it appears to be pumping a liquid into Kif's body. Kif chides and shakes as he softly moans in pain.]

[From the floor, Kif falls to the floor, dropping the device. Kif is still shaking and chattering. It appears that the liquid pumped into his body is making his body grow muscles. We watch for a moment as the muscles start making Kif's shaking body look like that of a human body builder.]

[Zapp, on the bed, is asleep, totally oblivious to what's happening.]

[Inside the closet, Powerhouse and Milady, still in their disguises, are looking at an Aye-pad. They're both excited at what they are seeing.]

**Powerhouse:** Yes. That protein-based steroid venom was perfect, darling!

**Milady:** I know. Just like me.

**Powerhouse: **(turned on) Oh, yeah!

[Powerhouse kisses his girl, and they go back to the screen.]

**Milady:** Oh, look. The bastard's child still hasn't waked up.

**Powerhouse:** (mocking sympathy) Oh, poor baby.

[Powerhouse and Milady giggle with mischievous intent.]

[Inside the medic room, we see Zapp, still snoring. As he snores, a shadow of an oval-shaped head, attached to an incredibly well-built body, emerges and covers Zapp.]

[Inside the closet, Powerhouse & Milady watch in eagerness.]

**Milady:** Let's see if that special sedative works.

[A close-up of Zapp shows that he is still snoring. Suddenly, we hear a grasping thud. It seems like Zapp is choking in his sleep, but the camera pans down to see that Kif's hand, enlarged by the steroid venom, has grabbed Zapp by the neck.]

[Heavy Metal music starts as an angle shows Zapp's lifeless body being hoisted in the air by Kif's hand. The camera pans around and shows Kif, incredibly built and enraged with fury. It seems like Kif's green gel-like body has been transformed into a protein-based fiber, similar to human muscle, which explains why his body is in the form of a human. However, his face is pretty much the same. His eyes are dead focused on his prey, Zapp.]

[Suddenly, the heavy metal accelerates as Kif throws Zapp clear across the room, towards the cabinets and tables. Zapp lands with a devastating crash, shattering the glass of the cabinets and destroying most of the shelves. Zapp, still sedated, merely scratches his arm as a tiny itch.]

[Seeing this, Kif growls a deep growl and lunges forward.]

[Inside the closet, Powerhouse and Milady, watching the Aye-Pad, are cheering on as they witness what they see. We hear punches, kicks, glass breaking, and tools clanking loudly.]

**Powerhouse:** Oh, HELL YEAH! SHOVE THAT GLASS UP HIS ASS!

**Milady:** WHOO, YEAH! GIVE THAT BASTARD HELL!

[Heavy metal music continues. We cannot see what's on the Aye-pad display screen, but we can hear several punches, kick and more glass shattering.]

**Powerhouse:** Yes, yes, yes! Break his arm, break his arm! Atta boy!

**Milady:** Take his leg, take it! C'mon, baby! Take it!

**Powerhouse:** Take 'em all! Make him suffer in death!

[The kicking and screaming stop for a moment. Powerhouse and Milady realize what Kif's doing on the screen.]

**Milady:** (gasps) Look! Look! He's going for it! Oh, that's it!

**Powerhouse:** (grinning) The monster turtle shell scalpel! Oh, yeah! That's right, Kif! DO IT! DO IT!

[Heavy Metal music stops as we hear a metallic "SHING!" on the Aye-pad, accompanied by the sound of flesh falling on the floor. Powerhouse and Milady scream in joyous victory.]

**Powerhouse & Milady: **(together, vindicated) HEEEEEELL, YEAH! CASTRATION!

[From space, we see the Nimbus flying off into space as we hear Milady and Powerhouse cackling in victory. They speak after a moment of victory.]

**Powerhouse:** Vengeance is a bitch, ain't it, baby?

**Milady:** Try telling it to that bitch.

[Heavy metal music starts up again as Milady and Powerhouse laugh harder. The Nimbus continues into space.]

**[COMMERCIAL BREAK]**

[**Act II – Scene 1:** Traditional Futurama music is heard as the camera zooms in on the Planet Express headquarters from the ocean.]

[Inside the Planet Express lounge, Fry, Leela and Bender are watching the T.V.]

[On the T.V. is ^2 News, with Morbo and the human female anchor, Linda von Schoonhoven.]

**Linda:** Welcome to Square Root Two News at One Forty-One. I'm Linda von Schoonhoven.

**Morbo:** I am Morbo. Thank you for watching.

[The camera focuses on Morbo. An image of Zapp Brannigan is at the top right corner with a subtext below the image that reads, "Officer Collapsed".]

**Morbo:** On his return to Earth after a failed rescue mission that appeared to be a death-trap, twenty-five star general Zapp Brannigan appeared to have all of the bones in his body collapse. Medical reports state that General Brannigan had a long history of osteoporosis, and due to his massive Bone Mass Index, the bones were too brittle to withstand anymore punishment.

[Fry is somewhat perplexed, Bender doesn't care, but Leela giggles a little bit.]

**Fry:** Wha-huh?

**Bender: **Eh.

**Leela:** (giggling) Oh, my God.

[The camera goes back on Morbo and the image.]

**Morbo:** Medics were also perplexed to find that Brannigan's genitals were unnecessarily castrated. The medical team has stabilized Brannigan, and is hoping that the frail bones will recover in ten months' time.

[Upon realizing the news, Fry is confused, Bender still doesn't care, but Leela is giggling so much, she exits the room.]

**Fry:** Wha-?

**Bender:** Eh.

**Leela:** (giggling) Oh, my—

[Fry asks Bender a question.]

**Fry:** Bender, what does 'castrated' mean?

**Bender:** The poor fat-ass lost his pelvic section by force.

[Fry screeches in terror, falls to the floor grabbing his crotch area, and sucks his thumb.]

**Fry:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Mmmm-Mmmm—Mmmm…

[Bender giggles at the pathetic sight that is Fry.]

[Leela and Amy return to the lounge, excited and giggly.]

**Leela:** Fry, Amy and I are having a girl's night out at the Dance Joint. We'll be home when we feel like it.

[Leela notices that Fry is sucking his thumb, still scared.]

**Leela:** Fry, are you okay?

**Bender:** He's probably still processing what castration is. He'll come out of it in about a week.

[Leela understands a little, and tries to help.]

**Leela:** Oh. Don't worry, honey. I'll bring back a case of Slurm for you, okay?

[Fry stops and gets up immediately.]

**Fry:** Slurm? Aw, aren't you the sweetest, hot thing?

**Leela:** Okay, see ya, honey.

[Leela and Amy leave quickly.]

**Fry:** Man, I have one awesome girlfriend.

[Fry thinks a pleasant thought, then it turns scary again. Bender sees it, and chimes in.]

**Bender:** Shing.

**Fry:** AAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Fry grabs his crotch and sucks his thumb again. Bender giggles then shakes his head.]

**Bender:** Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee. Humans.

[**Scene 2:** Creepy, future-based music is heard as we see an image of the sewers, which looks like it was once inhabited by the Mutants. Suddenly, the music gets a Heavy Metal twist as Powerhouse, in a blue jumpsuit, matching cap and a mustache, jumps down from above and lands on a wooden pathway. He starts walking, and soon after, Milady, also in the jumpsuit outfit, hat, and beard, jumps down and follows her husband's footsteps.]

[Powerhouse and Milady sneak around the corner of a sewer wall, and head into a tunnel.]

[We see Powerhouse and Milady sneaking down the sewer tunnel, which is made of tiled brick. As they sneak, the camera zooms in on Powerhouse as we hear him narrate.]

**Powerhouse: **(narrating)We've made significant progress today in our quest to return home. Not only did we steal information for an old rocket that can exceed the speed of light, but we also made good on our word to that asshole Jeffrey Brannigan.

[We see Powerhouse and Milady coming up to what appears to be a vault door on the wall of the sewer tunnel. We hear Milady narrate as Powerhouse approaches the door and opens it with a forceful grunt. The door swings inside.]

**Milady:** (narrating) It took us a while to adjust to the fact that we were forced into the future. But fortunately, we were able to use career chips to our advantage. After we tried being relationship counselors, we decided to take an easier route. Under disguise, we stole a bunch of currency from the world's banks. We hate stealing, but war is Hell.

[We see the vault door swing open, and inside is a laboratory. It is populated by a king-sized bed, several work tables with many scientific tubes, a couple of tool chests and a closet door in the back corner. The light comes from an old florescent light frame hanging from the roof, which fills the entire room with light.]

[Powerhouse & Milady enter their lab, and Powerhouse closes the door, which makes a loud thud as it closes.]

[Milady goes to the workbench, which has an old Toshiba laptop.]

[The close-up on the laptop sees Milady putting an old flash drive into the USB port.]

[Suddenly, FLASH! A white light fills up the screen briefly, and then gives way to a black-and-white image of the inside of the New New York Library.]

[The camera focuses on a door with the word, "Archives" posted above it.]

[Inside the Archives section of the Library, we see many shelves of old paperback books. On the side, we see four old desktop computers. Milady is at one of them. She is in a business suit with matching skirt, and high-heeled slippers. She is also wearing sleek glasses to look the part of a librarian.]

[We see a closer angle of Milady typing at the computer. Her flash drive is in the USB port on the desktop unit. On the screen, we see several windows open, but the biggest one reads, "Document Forms".]

[The camera focuses on Milady as she narrates.]

**Milady:** When we first arrived, we knew we had to go covert to blend in with the rest of this socialist society. But at the same time, we had to find a means to get back home. My husband and I agreed that if they could invent time travel in the past, they could have perfected it by this point in time.

[On the computer, a search window opened with the test reading, "Search Results for 'Modern Time Travel'". In big red letters below, it read, "No Results Found".]

[Milady is shown as a bit irritated.]

**Milady: **(narrating) Unfortunately, the socialists feared that time travel would just mess everything up. Perhaps that was the only thing they got right.

[In another section of the library, Powerhouse, in a sharp suit with smart-looking glasses, is at a desk reading a book titled, "History of Outlaws 2100-2300." He's taking notes as he's reading, and he's doing it with serious intent. As he's writing on his paper notepad using a black pen, we hear him narrating. We see Powerhouse's face becoming more furious as he narrates.]

**Powerhouse:** (narrating) As hard as it was for me to do, I had to find out the aftermath of the Texas-American War. It wasn't pretty. In a nutshell, the Texans defeated the Americans after six months of war, but two months later, the Mexicans declared war on the homeland. I guess Santa Anna wanted more. It only lasted a week, but that was because they were stupid enough to use mustard-based weapons. It killed all the vegetation and contaminated our waters, making the land useless!

[Suddenly, Powerhouse SLAMS his book shut and groans loudly in aggravated disgust.]

**Powerhouse:** (angry, disgusted) URRRGH!

[The groan echoes throughout the library. Everyone stops and stares at Powerhouse.]

[Powerhouse, realizing this, thinks for a moment.]

**Powerhouse:** (softly) Sorry. I just found out my grandfather was killed by a rapist.

[Everyone gasps, and then sympathetically go "Awwww…." altogether.]

[Outside of the library, still in black-and-white, Powerhouse and Milady, still in Librarian disguises, walk away from the building and exchange information.]

**Powerhouse:** Whatcha find?

**Milady:** Well, the wusses never pursued time travel since 2349, but there are several engines that we can use to break light speed. What about you?

**Powerhouse:** After we defeated the Americans, the Mexicans used condiment weapons that destroyed our home.

**Milady: **(infuriated) WHAT?! Those fat bastards!

[Suddenly, Smitty and URL approach Milady and Powerhouse.]

**Smitty:** Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was a loud 63-niner.

**URL:** Obscene Swearing in Public. Awwww, yeah.

[URL uses a scanner to scan Milady's career chip, then prints a citation with the name, "Leanne Austen".]

[Milady takes the citation without hesitation.]

**Milady:** Sorry, officer. I get excited when I find history so fascinating.

**URL:** Well sometimes, Miss Austen, you just gotta let it go. Awwwww, yeah.

[Smitty and URL leave.]

**Powerhouse:** We sure will, gentlemen. Have a good day.

[Milady narrates as she takes the citation, folds it up, tears it up into several pieces, and tosses it in a waste basket.]

**Milady:** (narrating) Too bad those suckers didn't know that as soon as I made it home, Leanne Austen never existed.

[FLASH! Back in the sewer laboratory, and in color, Milady takes the career chip implanter, and screams as she removes her career chip.]

**Milady: **(in pain) AAAAAAAHH! DAMN IT! I think it's getting worse.

[The camera zooms out to find that Powerhouse is consoling his hand. Apparently, he had his career chip removed just a moment ago.]

**Powerhouse:** No shit! Let's hope that we don't have to go anywhere else out here. Being away from home is painful enough.

[Dramatic music is heard. Milady plants both hers and Powerhouse's career chips in a crude version of a career chip encoder. On the Toshiba laptop, we see Milady's nurse profile and Powerhouse's doctor's profile pop up. Milady types in a command. A window pops up saying, "Delete? Are you sure?" Milady takes the mouse and clicks on the "OK" button. The window disappears and we see Powerhouse's and Milady's profiles being deleted from existence.]

[**Scene 3:** Back in color, festive, modern dance music is heard as we see a skyscraper in New New York. It appears to be a dance club, populated by neon lights. The logo for the place has the name, "The Dance Joint", spelled in Neon Lights, accompanied by a right bone leg attached to the pelvic joint. The leg dances with the beat of the music.]

[Inside the Dance Joint, we see several people and a few aliens of different species, in lavish, modern club wear dancing to the beat. Some are dancing on hovering platforms, but most are on the main dance floor. On the main dance floor, we see Leela, in a skin-tight purple cocktail dress, and Amy, in a cute, tight pink tank-top and matching mini-skirt, dancing their hearts out. They are totally enjoying it. Amy shouts over the music to Leela.]

**Amy:** (shouting) Don't you feel bad partying like this? I mean, we're celebrating how he almost died.

**Leela:** (shouting) After all that he's done to you and your boyfriend, would you have any remorse?

**Amy: **(shouting) Not really, No!

**Leela:** (shouting) Exactly! Now, dance your flabby ass off!

[Amy didn't take that last comment well, at first. But, both Leela and Amy dance even harder.]

[Over the dance music, we hear some girls screaming in lust. This gets Amy's attention a little.]

[Through the crowd in the Dance Joint, we see girls staring at a moving specimen.]

[The D.J., a cool, human dude, is seen jamming to the beat. He hears lustful screaming, and glances over in the direction of the screaming. He gasps, and turns the volume down a little. He speaks to the crowd in his microphone.]

**D.J.:** (echoing throughout the hall) Heads up, all you cool cats and dogs.

[Amy and Leela slow down their dancing and listen to the D.J.]

**D.J.:** (echoing through the hall) I think we are being invaded by a heroic officer.

[Leela doesn't like that sound.]

**Leela:** What?! He couldn't have recov—

[We see Kif, still incredibly built, emerging from the crowd in his Dress A Uniform.]

**D.J.:** (echoing through the hall) Y'all give a nice round of sound for the acting commander of the starship Nimbus, Lieutenant Commander Kif Kroker!

[Applause is heard. Leela spots Kif over Amy's shoulder, and her mouth drops. Amy turns around and sees her man. Her mouth drops too, for she is stunned beyond words.]

[Kif, in a heroic pose, sees his girl, and smiles confidently.]

[Kif approaches Amy. The dance music turns up louder. Amy's mouth is still agape. Kif strokes Amy's cheek, and opens his mouth, and kisses Amy, who instantly grabs his body in a lustful manner.]

[From an angle further away, we see Kif and Amy engaging in an intense make-out session, with Amy reaching all up and down Kif's body, making sure it's legitimate muscle. Leela, her mouth still agape, is stunned. Suddenly, a dancer behind Leela unintentionally smacks Leela across the back of her head. This sends her face-first into the dance floor. Everyone continues dancing as Kif and Amy continue their passionate kissing.]

[Outside the Dance Joint, we see Kif, Amy and Leela walking out of the dance hall and through the parking lot. As they walk, we see some girls stare at Kif as they pass-by.]

**Leela:** Kif, I have to ask. How did you get like this?

**Kif:** I started a protein-based diet about 8 months ago. That, along with regular iron training, got me this body.

**Amy:** But, Kif-y, I always thought you're body was made of a special kind of green gel. It wasn't made of meat.

**Kif:** It was. But when I started my diet, I found this special supplement that gradually turned my gelatin into a synthetic human muscle tissue.

**Leela:** Sounds almost like a steroid.

[Amy flirtatiously looks down Kif's body as she speaks.]

**Amy:** It wasn't a steroid. Trust me. I felt it.

[They stop right in front of Leela's car.]

**Leela:** Alright, you two. Let's go home.

**Kif:** Amy, I managed to acquire a rental. And since I authorized a two-week furlough, I was think—

**Amy:** Uh, Leela, you go on and cuddle with Fry. Kif's gonna take me home. All the way home.

**Leela:** (understanding what Amy really means) Right. I'll see you on Monday.

[**Scene 4a:** This scene is a montage segment of Kif and Amy enjoying each other with the ZZTop's "Got Me Under Pressure" as the soundtrack.]

[In her apartment complex hallway at night, Amy keeps her face lip-locked to Kif as they try to make it to Amy's apartment. While trying to find the door with their hands, they knock over a hallway ashtray, releasing two rats that scurry around and leave quickly. Kif and Amy are still moaning in their lip-locked ecstasy. After several tries, Kif's finger presses a button and it opens up Amy's apartment door. They rush in there, still lip-locked. The door closes quickly behind them.]

[**Scene 4b: **In the daytime, Kif and Amy, both in casual street wear and holding hands, are walking through a modern mall. Many other shoppers populate the mall.]

[From a side angle, Kif and Amy are still looking around at all the various stores in the mall. We see Amy stop and smile. She points to something behind the camera. Kif sees what she's pointing at and grins.

[We see a store in the mall. The store is titled, "SONYA", with a tagline that reads, " ".]

[In the SONYA store, we see Amy's hand taking a modern camera tripod.]

[In another part of the SONYA store, we Kif's hand grabbing a Sonya HD Video Camera.]

[We see Amy running out of the mall, with a shopping bag in one hand, and Kif in her other hand, trying to keep up.]

[**Scene 4c: **At daytime, on the beach, Kif and Amy are walking along the beach, holding hands. Amy is in a blue bikini, and Kif is in a black thong.]

[As they walk along the beach, hand-in-hand, they spot two boys in swim trunks. They're playing a shoot-em-up game with sticks they found on the beach. The boys run past them, pretending to shoot each other.]

**Boy1:** You'll never get me. ZZZap, zap-zap.

**Boy2:** P-ting, P-twang! I'll get you for this! Zap, Zap, Zapper!

[We see Kif twitching as he's making grunting, growling sounds. Amy sees this, and tries to soothe him.]

**Amy:** Kif! Kif-y, are you O.K.?

[Kif suddenly stops twitching and clears his throat.]

**Kif:** Oh, um, yes. I'm sorry, I just had a weird thought.

**Amy:** You looked like you were having a fit.

**Kif:** I'm sorry. I'm fine. Truly.

[Kif kisses Amy's cheek as reassurance. Amy strokes Kif's arm in gentle comfort, then starts to smile lustfully.]

[**Scene 4d: **At dusk, we see a small spaceship up in the air, above a rural part of New York. It looks like a mock-up of an airplane used for people that want to sky jump.]

[Inside the spaceship, we see both Amy and Kif, suited up with wind goggles and parachute backpacks. Kif, with a confident expression on his face, gives thumbs up. Amy, excited as ever, gives Kif a thumbs up and shows Kif that she has the video camera. The sky jump instructor opens the door. Kif and Amy jump out together.]

[In midair, we see Amy and Kif in a free fall. Both of them are enjoying the sheer thrill of it all.]

[The camera focuses on Amy, who opens up the camera display screen and starts recording. She looks up with the camera.]

[From the video camera's point of view, we see a rumbling image of the spaceship fading away due to the camera quickly losing altitude. The video camera, still rumbling due to wind resistance, pans down and finds Kif, with his body lying flat against the wind. He notices the camera is on him. He thinks for a moment, and then an idea hits him. Kif points his head down towards Earth, and extends his arms. Kif starts to rotate like an airplane propeller.]

[Amy, inaudibly, roots on her man to go faster.]

[Through the video camera, Kif appears to be turning really fast like a prop. We slowly see his body coming close together, still spinning. As Kif's spinning slows down, it starts to show that Kif has grabbed his legs and has tucked them in to keep close. As he stops, he pulls out a white bag, tied up, and shows it to Amy.]

[Amy is curious.]

[Through the video camera, we see Kif take a modern device, sticks it in the tied up opening of the bag. Kif puts the device in his parachute pocket after it is shown that a fuse in the bag was lit.]

[Amy is stunned to see this.]

[Suddenly, Kif pulls a string on the bag. A tiny parachute pops out from the bag and catches plenty of air and shoots up from the freefalling alien, taking the bag with it. As soon as the tiny bag clears, we see Kif motioning towards Amy as if he's saying, "Come towards me."]

[An angle from below shows Amy closing the space between them, holding each other. Then, they face upwards towards the parachuted bag. Amy is still recording the happenings toward the sky. Suddenly, BOOM! The parachuted bag detonates, sending sparkles upon sparkles of multi-colored fireworks throughout the sky. We see Kif and Amy's shadows as the fireworks take the sky. Soon, the fireworks clear the way to find some special fireworks remain that spell a message, "Amy & Kif 4-EVER". Some sparkles spring out as this message is revealed.]

[From above Kif and Amy, we see Amy eyes become watery at the spectacle and Kif is smiling confidently. While still in the free fall, Amy, overwhelmed at the gesture, turns towards Kif, lets go of the video camera, and slowly reaches out for her man. The camera doesn't get too far away as Kif grabs the camera and stuffs it into his parachute pocket.]

[From below the couple of lovers, we see Kif and Amy slowly kissing. As this goes on, the fireworks fade away gently. As Kif and Amy continue their mid-air ecstasy, the couple turns a bit in the air to the point where Kif's face is facing down toward the Earth. In the middle of the kiss, Kif's eyes open slowly, then SUDDENLY in fear as Kif squeals in fear.]

**Kif: **(in fear, muffled) MMMMMMMMMM-!

[Kif frantically uses his left hand to search around his parachute vest. His right hand is still hanging on to the un-flinched Amy. Also, his legs intertwine with Amy's to hang onto hers. Kif's left hand finds the right chord and pulls it hard and away from the couple. This deploys a small parachute, which is connected to the main parachute, which unfolds at a moderately fast pace. He quickly and tightly embraces Amy for he knows what is next. Upon feeling the tightness of her lover's grip, Amy squeals in ecstasy and she hangs on tighter too. Then, the main parachute fully deploys. The parachute catches them and sharply hoists them up away from the camera's view.]

[**Scene 5** – The music fades away as the camera pans around the Planet Express Headquarters.]

[Inside the laboratory, Fry, Leela, Professor, and Zoidberg are sitting at the group's meeting table. Leela has some paperwork that she's signing off. Fry is picking at his right foot's big toenail. Professor is lying on the desk snoring. Zoidberg is examining his claws.]

**Fry:** I didn't know Chiggar-lon had so many itchy pests.

**Leela:** Yeah, they're nasty alright. Say, you haven't heard from Amy, have you? I haven't heard from her since Kif showed up looking like a god. I mean, six days. Isn't that long enough?

[We hear a door open. Kif, still in his casual street wear, is seen carrying Amy. She's in her standard sweat wear, but appears to be worn out and her hair is a mess.]

**Amy:** Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

[Everyone gasps in shock.]

**Amy:** I was late because I can't walk. However, in the way of good news, we just earned two Guinness World Records.

[Kif and Amy hold up a framed document each, from the Guinness World Records.]

[Everyone, except the sleeping Professor, gasps in awe and amazement.]

**Fry:** WHAT?! You're celebrities?!

[Leela casually walks up and reads Amy's document as if it's nothing, but as she talks, she becomes COMPLETELY blown away in shock and amazement.]

**Leela:** A world record holder? Oh, I wonder what it could be for? I bet it's for most money spent on-ahhhh,EEEE-WHOA! MOST RECORDED ORGASMS IN A TWENTY-FOUR HOUR PERIOD?!

[Everyone gasps is TOTAL SHOCK, except the Professor, who just now wakes up.]

**Prof:** (snorts as he wakes) Hu-he-uh. Well, that does explain her short-term leg paralysis. Of course it depends on how many it-

**Kif:** I thought it was fifty-five, but Amy's body said more.

**Amy:** Aren't Guinness' thermal readers cute?

[Amy and Kif giggle seductively.]

[Professor is stunned.]

**Prof:** You played around for THAT long and you're still alive? What's your secret, Miss Wang?

**Fry:** Don't you mean Wong?

**Prof:** That's what I said! OPEN YOUR EARS!

**Amy: **Keep an open window, I guess.

[Fry walks over and reads Kif's document and is also taken back by what he read.]

**Fry: **WHOA! Longest documented erection hold AND most documented ejaculations in twenty-four hours!

[Fry reads the document again.]

**Fry:** WITHOUT using enhancements!

[Bender walks casually behind Kif and Amy as he talks.]

**Bender: **Well, now that I know what kept my supersonic sensors, AND ME, up all night, I have to ask one more thing.

[Bender grabs Kif's throat from behind and starts demanding. Kif keeps hold of Amy.]

**Bender:** TELL ME HOW YOU PULLED THIS OFF, OR I WILL ZAP YOUR HEAD!

[We see Kif's eyes go evil as he starts twitching and grunting again.]

[Kif drops Amy and his document to the floor. The document frames shatter as Amy groans a little when she lands. Amy is a bit weak, but still manages to crawls away.]

[The angry snorting Kif grabs Bender from behind, and starts smashing Bender's body against the ground, like a lumberjack with an ax. Bender groans in pain with each landing as pieces of his body break off and fall apart.]

[During the commotion, Leela goes to Amy and comforts her. Amy is still concerned about her man.]

**Leela:** Amy, are you okay?

**Amy:** Yeah, I'm fine. But, what's wrong with Kif-y? I've never known him to be so violent outside of work.

[Suddenly, Kif grabs Bender by his torso. By this point, Bender's body frame is beaten up badly, his limbs are missing, and his antenna is bent.]

**Kif:** (angry growling) DIE, ZAPP!

[Kif pulls his right leg back, and KICKS Bender's rear end towards the Planet Express spaceship. As Bender flies, we see his rear end sparking. Suddenly, Bender's body explodes in several fireballs.]

[Leela looks at the spectacle.]

**Leela:** You STILL didn't get your ass fixed Bender?

[On the floor in front of the spaceship, we small pieces of smoking debris fall and land. Suddenly, KLUNK! Bender's ravaged, burned body lands. We hear Bender speak from within.]

**Bender:** OK. I'm not doing anything else until—

[Suddenly, we hear glass shattering. This gets Fry, Amy, and Leela's attention. They look around the lab. Amy gasps and points.]

[We see the area where Kif was, but Kif is not there.]

**Amy:** Kif-y. Where'd he-

[We hear Kif grunting like a wild beast from outside. The crew looks up towards the top of the landing area. There is a huge hole in the glass window of the landing area.]

[From the rooftops of New New York, we hear Kif grunting. We see him jumping from rooftop to rooftop like an ape. He continues grunting as he hops past the camera.]

**Kif: **(grunting like a chimp) Die, Zapp! Die, Zapp! Die!

[Back inside the lab, Leela, Fry and Amy are worried.]

**Leela:** Oh, no. We gotta help him. Professor?

[An aerial shot of the lab shows that ONLY Fry, Leela, and Amy are in the lab. The Professor had left.]

**Fry:** Professor?

[In the telescope room of the Planet Express headquarters, we see the Professor naked and standing in front of an open window, letting a gentle breeze in.]

[We see the Professor looking down, then shouts in disappointment.]

**Prof:** (frustrated) NOTHING'S WORKING! DAMMIT!

**[COMMERCIAL BREAK]**

[**Act III – Scene 1**: It is late at night. Heavy metal music is heard as the camera zooms in on the Planet Express Headquarters from above.]

[The music fades as the camera goes to the Planet Express laboratory. The Professor, back in his lab clothes, places a considerable amount of debris onto a small platform, and then covers it up with a tall glass canister. The platform glows, which makes the debris float around. The Professor talks as he types on his computer keyboard. Fry, Leela, Bender and Amy, are present. Bender appears to be mostly put together, but still has some burn marks and some bandages on his body. Amy is able to stand, but has to cling onto Leela's shoulder for assistance.]

**Prof:** After spending all night cleaning up the debris and junk left behind, I've determined that something tells me that Kif's body was enhanced for destructive purposes.

**Bender:** (exasperated; "IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG?") Nah, YOU THINK, YOU OLD BONE-BAG?!

**Amy: **(in denial) No! I can't believe my Kif-y wanted to hurt anyone. He was always so gentle and easy-going.

**Bender:** That was BEFORE-I'll say again-BEFORE he became a human version of a wall! You're talking about when he was a punching bag for Zapp Brannigan.

**Amy:** Zapp?

[A glowing hologram of a sample of green gel and a DNA band appear in front of everyone. The Professor explains the meaning.]

**Prof:** According to the DNA that the shrapnel and debris got from Kif, the DNA in Kif was altered from its normal, gooey gelatin state into a synthetic protein. This happened because his body was injected with a rapid-acting version of the Snake Muscle Enhancement steroid, or S.M.E.

**Fry:** So, he's stronger than a snake?

**Prof:** Indeed. It can also make him hunt for rats more effectively, too. I don't know if it's in his diet, though.

**Leela:** But Professor, that still doesn't explain why he just went off on his violent spree when Bender grabbed his neck.

**Bender:** Yeah! Why did he kick my shiny metal ass?

**Prof:** Well, I suppose that-

[The hologram blares a brief alarm and a visual from the hologram reads, "ALERT! Poison Detected: R.G.B. The Professor gasps.]

**Prof:** (gasps in horror) Oh, my God! The D.N.A. alarm indicates that the steroid was infused with the infamous Renegade Goes Ballistic venom.

**Amy:** R.G.B.? (gasps in horror) Oh, my God! Kif was tripped off by something Bender did, and he's going to continue his violent until he either kills himself, or he kills whatever he wants to.

[Everyone GASPS in horror. They look to the Professor, who doesn't understand why they look at him. Eerie music builds up as the Professor talks.]

**Prof: **Don't look at me. Amy's right. Kif will continue his mindless violence until he destroys that one little thing that he hates more than anything in the world. That one little repressed memory or being that has caused him more pain that anything else in his life.

[Music continues. There is silence between the crew members. Finally, they all figure it out together.]

**Amy:** ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

**Bender: **ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

**Fry: **ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

**Prof:** ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

**Leela:** ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

[Leela and Amy are stuck in a moral crossroads.]

**Leela:** Damn! I really wish we didn't have the smart people to figure this out. Now, I just want to get rid of this moral dilemma.

**Amy:** You're telling me….bitch.

**Leela:** Slut.

**Fry:** Dilemma? You mean the confusion you have because you hate Zapp for sleeping with you two, but at the same time you don't want to have his blood on your hands?

[Leela strokes her man's cheek, then slaps it lightly as she talks.]

**Leela:** Oh, honey. I'm so glad you're not the jealous type. But until you find a way to cage a savage beast, shut up.

[Suddenly, another alert blares on the hologram projector. The text reads, "News Alert". Then, the text goes away and the alarm shuts off as the hologram shows Linda and Morbo from the news studio.]

**Linda:** We interrupt this infomercial for this breaking news bulletin. Chaos is unfolding in New New York where a disturbed green monster is terrorizing random citizens.

[The screen goes to Morbo, accompanied by a box screen where a field reporter, a male Caucasian, is with a microphone in his hand.]

**Morbo:** Morbo demands the latest information!

**Reporter1:** According to eyewitnesses here, the green beast, who has yet to be identified, has beaten and bruised sixteen people, including three children who were playing "cops and robbers". No one's been killed yet, but about twenty-three peace officers said that their light batons have proven ineffective.

**Morbo:** What about the military response to this outrage?

**Reporter1:** Well, Lieutenant Commander Kif Kroker is still on a two-week furlough, which prevents him from performing his duties under penalty of perjury, so says Brannigan's Law. Plus, General Brannigan is still under sedation until his bones are grown back. So, the military is paralyzed to the point where they've been royally zapped!

[Suddenly, Kif, his clothes torn up and his face unrecognizable, jumps on top of the reporter, sending them both off-screen. Off-screen, we hear the reporter screaming, along with punching and ripping sounds.]

[Inside the sewer headquarters of Powerhouse and Milady, they see the news reports on their salvaged, worn-down Plasma T.V. Milady is at the work bench, working with a chemistry set. Powerhouse has torn into a part of the sewer wall. He's tampering with steel cables, as he appears to apply two electricity terminals to two steel cables in the wall structure. Powerhouse is also taking note of the news report and is not happy.]

**Powerhouse: ** Damn it! How's the antidote coming?

**Milady: **One minute, and it should be finished.

**Powerhouse:** Excellent. As soon as we got it, we'll get in the truck and catch him.

**Milady:** OK, honey. Man, I had hoped that Kif could control his rage.

[Powerhouse picks up a controller device that is hooked up to the terminals that are attached to the steel cables.]

**Powerhouse:** You and I both, but alas, the human body, real or synthetic, can take only so much.

**Milady:** A sentence with four commas. That's a record for you, honey.

**Powerhouse:** Yeah, I think it tied my record.

[Milady grabs the six vials with various colored liquids and puts them in a wooden holster. She takes the holster and turns and walks briskly from the workbench as she talks.]

**Milady:** I'm done! C'mon, let's go!

[Powerhouse's thumb presses the button the controller device. Heavy metal music starts up as he runs off with his wife. The device lights up a timer on it, which starts counting down from 35 minutes.]

[**Act III - Scene 2: **Heavy metal music continues. Powerhouse & Milady are seen dashing down a sewer hallway. Milady still has the chemical vials in hand. As we see them running down the tunnel, the few, slightly faint lights show a couple of rats scurrying away from the thundering Texans.]

[In the faint light, we see Powerhouse and Milady approach a custom-built 2791 Chevrolet Silverado 5500 Truck, heavily-armored with iron throughout the entire body. The pick-up bed is covered with a camper tall enough to allow a human being to stand inside. The camper is also armor plated with only two holes, one on the right and left sides.]

[A close-up shows Powerhouse pulling out a key-chain with several keys on it, including a car-locking device. Powerhouse takes the device and presses a button as he points it to the Silverado.]

[The camera shows the scene from above the Silverado. The truck chirps and the headlights flash. The headlights have a slight blue tint to them. The lights also reveal that on the right side and left side of the tunnel, bust in front of the truck is a locker. Powerhouse approaches the locker on the passenger side, Milady the one on the driver side.]

[Powerhouse opens the locker immediately and starts putting on a black trench coat, black leather gloves, silver-plated spurs, a dark-silver belt buckle with the words, "The future sucks" engraved in it, his black cowboy hat, and he also places dark, cool sunglasses in his jacket pocket. He heads to the back of the truck. Powerhouse narrates as he does all of this.]

**Powerhouse: **(narrating) Sometimes, the good will of a man is overtaken by the sheer will of his innermost desires. Desires that'll drive a man insane unless they are exacted. My wife and I were hoping that our little green friend could control them, but the fuel for his desires was just too great for the science we have tried on him. I guess the Brannigan family didn't learn shit over the last nine hundred years! Still, it's now our mess, and we have to clean it up.

[Powerhouse reaches for the gate door to the truck, but is stopped by a female black shoe. This softens the heavy metal music. The leg attached to the shoe is covered in skin-tight, shiny leather. The camera zooms out to reveal that Milady is wearing the boots and skin-tight leather suit. She also has her hair pulled back into a ponytail, with a simple black band holding it. She has a pair of sunglasses clipped onto her suit in-between her breasts. In her right hand is the holster with the vials of chemicals.]

[Powerhouse is taken back by his wife's drop-dead sexiness.]

**Powerhouse:** (exhales) DAMN, baby! That's good girl in a bad girl's outfit really works for ya.

[Milady brings her legs to the floor.]

**Milady:** Thanks! Going ol' traditional, eh?

**Powerhouse:** Yeah, I just like to make sure you out-do me.

[Milady raises one eyebrow, seductively.]

**Milady:** I know you do every night.

[Powerhouse is turned on.]

**Powerhouse:** ROWR-OWR! To the bed, baby!

[The heavy metal music picks up a little. Milady opens the gate. Both Powerhouse and Milady jump into the bed of the truck. Powerhouse enters the bed completely while Milady's legs are still hanging out of the bed. We hear some clicking sounds, along with some soft hydraulic sounds. After a brief moment, Milady exits the bed, and closes the gate. She proceeds to the driver's side of the truck.]

[Inside the cab of the truck, Milady jumps in, closes the door, puts the key into the ignition and fires up the truck.]

[Outside, we see and hear the Diesel engine starting. The heavy metal music kicks up harder and faster. From the tailpipes, we see flames bursting as the engine revs.]

[From in front of the truck, we see the tailpipe flames light up the background. Then, the headlights light up.]

[On the driver's console, we see Milady pushing the transmission lever into the Drive position.]

[In the lower level of the driver's spot in the truck, we see Milady's foot pound the accelerator all the way down.]

[The Diesel engine ROARS as the truck blazes down the tunnel and away from the camera. We see the tunnel pitching upward as the truck blazes on.]

[Milady is loving the way the truck feels. She giggles as she drives down the tunnel. Powerhouse pokes his head through the back window. The music fades away.]

**Powerhouse:** So, how's she riding?

**Milady:** Slicker than butter on a cucumber.

**Powerhouse:** Mmmm….tasty!

[Both Powerhouse & Milady giggle a little.]

[A phone rings. Milady picks up a phone from the truck's cab, and talks using a rougher voice.]

**Milady:** (rough voice) Hello?

[The camera inserts a box with Hermes in it. Hermes talks on the phone to Milady.]

**Hermes:** Yes, is this the Poach 'Em All Company?

**Milady:** (rough voice) Yes, what do you want?

**Hermes:** My name is Hermes Conrad, Bureaucrat and Manager of the Planet Express Delivery Company. I have called to offer you a sum of up to five hundred dollars for the capture, not kill, capture of the big green monster who is destroying our home city.

**Milady:** (rough voice) Is this the same big, green monster that we saw on the news tearing up that journalist?

**Hermes:** Yes, the very same.

**Milady:** (rough voice) The price on his head is over sixty-five thousand. You can't go any higher than that?

**Hermes:** Not unless you run me over like a green snake under a sugar cane truck.

**Milady:** (rough voice) OK, give us thirty minutes.

[Milady puts the phone down. Powerhouse, having seen all this from Milady's perspective, quickly figures it out.]

**Powerhouse:** Planet Express?

**Milady:** That Jamaican dude offered us five hundred.

**Powerhouse:** Heh. Cheapskates.

[**Act III – Scene 3**: It is still night time in the streets of New New York. Several hovering versions of police helicopters have their spotlights on, looking down the alleys and bad parts of town.]

[Deep in an alley, a couple of seagulls are feeding off of garbage bins. Suddenly, they screech and scramble as Kif, who by now is an angry, grunting wreck of a being, searches frantically through the garbage piles.]

**Kif:** (grunting, in haste) Zapp. Z-z-zapp. Must….k-kill….Zapp!

[Suddenly, a spotlight hits him. Kif instantly shrouds himself in fear as the voice speaks to him with authority. The voice is from Powerhouse.]

**Powerhouse:** (off-screen) KIF KROAKER! I have a Fincher twenty-two, eighty rifle pointed right at your head. Surrender quietly, and I will take you to Zapp Brannigan personally. If you do NOT surrender, I'm afraid I'll have to take your head.

[Kif does not respond as he is still shrouded by fear.]

[From another angle, the spotlight hits the camera straight on. Powerhouse approaches Kif with a gentle approach.]

**Powerhouse:** KROAKER! Don't you want to see your girl again?

[Kif's head pops up. His face starts to return to normal.]

**Kif:** Amy?

**Powerhouse:** I know your girl misses you. I know she wants you. But, do you think causing trouble in town is the way to go about it?

[Kif starts shaking as he stands up. His twitching body movements indicate an internal struggle as his face gradually returns to normal. Kif speaks erratically.]

**Kif:** (erratic) Amy-A-A-Amy—my—my l-l-love.

[Powerhouse helps Kif to the back of the truck, where Milady is standing by at the open gate.]

**Powerhouse:** Have no fear, my friend. We're gonna take you to her. We just need you to get inside here. Sorry, but we have no more room in the cab.

[Kif, still twitching, gets inside the bed of the truck.]

**Kif:** (erratic) L-L-love…..it sta—it starts with - 'L'.

[Kif twitches a bit more as he rolls all the way inside the bed. Suddenly, Powerhouse and Milady close the tailgate, and latch the camper shut. In a quick fashion, Milady pulls out a remote, and presses the button. From within the bed, we hear a soft POOMP sound, followed by slightly colored vapors escaping through the camper holes. Milady and Powerhouse smell the fumes and are amazed by the smell.]

**Milady:** Whew! Even I don't stink this bad every month.

**Powerhouse:** Yeesh! It ain't that far away from the truth, though.

[**Act II – Scene 4:** Back inside the Planet Express, Amy, Fry, Leela, Professor, Bender, and Hermes are all waiting around.]

[Fry is bored out of his mind.]

**Fry:** (yawns) Look Amy, I know you're worried about your boyfriend and all, but my body is telling me to go to sleep.

**Leela:** Fry! Can't you spare another—uh, how long has it been, Hermes?

[Hermes checks his watch.]

**Hermes:** About eight minutes.

**Leela:** (to Fry) Fry can't you spare at least another twenty-seven minutes?

**Bender:** Aw, shut up, Leela. You didn't get your ass burned by that jerk-wad!

**Leela:** Neither did Fry!

**Bender:** I know that! I just wanted you to shut up!

[The phone on the desk rings. Hermes answers it.]

**Hermes:** Hello, Planet Express Delivery Company.

[There is a moment of silence, followed by Hermes returning the phone and barking out an order.]

**Hermes:** Leela! Open the door to the landing station. They got him!

[Everyone shouts for joy.]

**Leela:** Yeah!

**Fry:** YES! Finally!

**Bender:** Oh, yeah! Time to whip his ass!

**Prof:** Whee!

**Amy:** Yea, they got Kif-y!

[Outside the Planet Express headquarters, the Silverado is hovering above the landing area. As the door starts to creep open, we hear triumphant metal music. Milady, who has added her sunglasses, a long beard and a cowboy hat to her disguise, and Powerhouse, who has added his sunglasses and a long beard to his disguise, jump down from the Silverado, holding a bag together and a single rope in their hands.]

[From below, the Planet Express crew gasp in awe at the sight of the two 'poachers' drop from the night sky and towards the landing zone, in front of the Planet Express ship.]

[From the lab floor, both sets of boots drop at the same time.]

[Every crew member is in awe.]

**Fry:** Wow! Can I have your job when I grow up?

[Powerhouse speaks in a rougher, more growling voice as he unveils the contents inside the bag, which is a sedated Kif, who's body has returned to his normal state, but his clothes no longer fit and is still torn up.]

**Powerhouse:** (rough voice) I understand that this was the prey we were to apprehend.

[Everyone gasps in shock. Amy, feeling relieved and better in general, rushed to her boyfriend.]

**Amy:** Kif-y! Oh, Kif-y! Why is he asleep?

**Powerhouse:** (rough voice) We had to sedate him when he caught him, but when we did, his body just twitched and twisted all over until his muscles just disappeared.

**Prof:** Wait a second! There is only one way to fully eliminate the S.M.E. steroid, and that's with the proper anti-venom.

**Milady:** (rough voice) The M.R.E. We know. That's what we used!

**Prof:** (amazed) Wha-? I invented that antidote! How did you acquire it?

**Milady:** (rough voice) We got it from a drugstore. It's a household product.

[Amy is a little desperate.]

**Amy:** (a bit worried) When will he wake up?

**Powerhouse:** (rough voice) Whenever his girlfriend kisses him. That's the Snow White side-effect of the M.R.E.

**Prof: **(more impatient) I KNOW IT! Now kiss him already.

[Amy quickly applies a big, long kiss on Kif. After a moment, Amy breaks it. Kif slowly wakes and smacks his lips. He suddenly GASPS in surprise.]

**Kif:** Amy, where am I? Why is everyone gathered around me?

**Amy:** Wha-? You don't remember what happened?

**Kif:** The last thing I remember was being on the Nimbus about to talk to the crew through a radio.

[Kif holds up his right hand and notices the poke marks from the steroid device.]

**Kif:** Wha-? Where did these-

[Suddenly, we hear a LOUD Diesel engine roaring and fading away. The crew looks up and finds that Powerhouse and Milady have retreated back to the Silverado and have flown out of there. This irritates Hermes.]

**Hermes:** (irritated) DAMMIT! That's the second time I've been denied to pay a client!

[**Act III – Scene 5: **The Professor has Kif, who has returned to wearing his usual DOOP Officer's uniform, in a body scanner that looks identical to the body scanners used in today's airports. Amy, Leela, Fry, Bender and Amy look on.]

[We see the Professor looking at a visual of Kif's body on a monitor near the scanner. The visual focuses on Kif's right hand and shows a close-up of the two bites where Kif was injected with the steroid.]

**Prof:** Incredible! The two marks on Kif's body were caused by a custom-made venom injector. Whoever gave you the stuff on the Nimbus, Kif, wanted you to get the S.M.E.

**Kif:** So, whoever poisoned me wanted me to be all big and crazy?

**Prof:** Exactly.

[Kif becomes nervous.]

**Kif:** Oh, mercy. It had to be someone on the inside. Someone on the ship, because that's the last place I truly remember being on.

**Amy:** Kif-y! Don't you remember what happened last night?

**Kif:** What happened last night?

[Bender shows the Guinness World Record document, out of its frame, to Kif.]

**Bender:** This.

[Kif reads it and is confused.]

**Kif:** Wha-? Is that even possible?

**Amy: **OF COURSE it is! I felt it!

[Kif gasps in astonishment.]

**Kif:** So w—we—uh—Amy, di-did we-uh-

**Amy:** Yes, we did! And it was the greatest day of my life!

**Kif:** But,-bu-I don't understand. I never had one of those organs!

[Amy gasps, but everyone else groans in disgust.]

**Amy:** So, you…Professor, was that was also part of the poison?

**Prof:** Hu-? You mean him packing human manhood? For an amphibian like him, I'm afraid that is possible.

[Amy is taken aback while everyone else groans again. After a moment to reflect, Amy appears content.]

**Amy:** Well, I fell in love with him before any of this. Besides, I'd rather prefer your gentle companionship than any brashy, packin' stud anyday.

**Leela:** But Amy, what about—

**Amy:** We can foreplay. Besides, he's got gentle fingers that are close enough to the real thing.

[Everyone groans in disgust again, except Amy and Kif, who are staring at each other.]

[Delighted to hear this, Kif exits the scanner and goes to embrace his woman.]

[Amy and Kif embrace and kiss. Kif breaks the kiss to talk.]

**Kif:** Oh, Amy. I don't know where I'd be without you.

**Amy:** Probably as lost as I would be.

[Kif and Amy kiss again.]

[Fry and Leela look on admiring.]

**Fry:** Aww. Aren't they a lucky pair?

[Leela uses her finger to lure Fry's face towards her.]

**Leela:** But who can GET lucky?

[Fry chuckles a little as they look like they're gonna kiss.]

[Back at the sewer room, the timer that Powerhouse started ticks down from 3 seconds. Once it hits '0', we see the terminals hooked up to the steel cables spark a bit.]

[Back at the Planet Express headquarters, Fry and Leela break up their moment before they kiss as they hear sparking and popping sounds from outside.]

**Leela:** What the-? What's going on?

[The crew runs outside the headquarters.]

**Leela:** Oh, my God!

[The camera zooms out to see the Suicide Booths exploding in sparking, popping fanfare.]

**Leela:** The Suicide Booths!

**Prof:** They're blowing high Heaven!

**Bender:** I guess they've had enough!

[On the streets in Manhattan Island, we see two Suicide Booths sparking up, and popping to destruction.]

[On a different street, we see three more Suicide Booths sparking and popping to destruction.]

[On another street corner, a small office building with the marquee, "Stop-N-Drop"on it starts to spark and disintegrate. The marquee letters explode in sparkling glory and the building collapses on itself.]

[From Liberty Island, Powerhouse and Milady, still in their disguises but without the beards or sunglasses, have parked the Silverado on the island right next to the Statue of Liberty. They stand in front of the Silverado, embracing each other as they see the events unfolding on Manhattan Island. After a moment of popping and sparking, the town quiets down for just a second, and then emergency sirens start to wail.]

[The camera shows Powerhouse & Milady admiring the sight.]

**Powerhouse:** Life, liberty…

**Milady:** And the pursuit of happiness.

[Powerhouse & Milady look at each other and smile.]

**Powerhouse:** Come on! I'll drive.

[Triumphant Heavy Metal music kicks up. Powerhouse climbs into the driver side of the Silverado. Milady goes into the passenger side.]

[From in front of the truck, the truck ROARS alive as the headlights come on. The lights flood the screen. As the lights fade, so does the roaring Diesel engine sound. The engine echoes as the lights give way to the Executive Producer's credits. The music resolves as the credits fade away.]

[The Futurama theme with a rock music twist plays as End Credits roll.]

**THE END of PART 2 of 3 **


	3. Chapter 3: Mr & Mrs Unkillable

_**Futurama: **_

_**Mr. & Mrs. Unkillable**_

Based on the characters created and developed by

Matt Groening & David X. Cohen

Teleplay by

TheTexasPowerhouse

**WARNING!**

_Mature Content Included:_

_Violence_

_Sexual Humor_

_Language_

_**Fantasy Rating: M**_

_[The Futurama lights and title appear as normal. The subtext reads, "The Tone-Deaf Sing-Along Masters". The opening title rolls on like normal.]_

_[__**ACT I – Scene 1: **__In the Planet Express Lounge Area, Bender and Fry, both bored, are watching T.V. We hear an announcer speak from the T.V.]_

**Announcer:** We'll be back with "Catching Up With the Cougar Hunters" after these messages.

_[We hear men whooping and whistling.]_

_[The T.V. shows Mom in her southern blue dress on her rocking chair.]_

**Mom:** Hello, dearies.

_[Bender sits up in awe of his creator.]_

**Bender:** Hey, it's Mom! Hi mommy!

_[We see a close-up of Mom on the T.V.]_

**Mom:** As you know, I'm an old, happy woman. And this weekend, I am inviting all of my children to a party commemorating my one-hundred-eightieth birthday.

_[Fry sits up in amazement.]_

**Fry:** One hundred eighty years old?! Wow! Why isn't she on that Cougar show?

**Bender:** Hey, that's my Mom you're talking about!

_[Bender slaps Fry.]_

**Fry:** OW! It's a compliment.

_[Bender punches Fry in the gut, sending Fry to the floor in pain.]_

_[The T.V. shows Mom.]_

**Mom:** Also, at my birthday party, I will unveil my latest child to my family. One that will make all of my children proud to have me as their Mother. So please, come celebrate with me this weekend, and bring all of your friends and B.Y.O.B.

_[Bender is excited about the news.]_

**Bender:** Oh, yeah! I'm gonna party, drink, and belch until my eyeballs pop out! All for my mommy!

**Fry:** Are you going to get your Mom a birthday present?

**Bender: **_("You think I'm THAT stupid?")_ Uh, duh! But a bigger question is, what'll I buy for her? I mean, she has everything an old, rich tycoon could ever want. Hmm, I might need to ask a professional.

_[We see Bender talking to Leela in the ship's docking area.]_

**Leela:** I don't know what to give that old bag. She only has everything.

**Bender:** Hmm, good point, Leela. It's kinda hard to give your Mom something when she's given you the best gift of all.

**Leela:** An existence?

**Bender:** That, and hands. Hmm….Wait! I got it! Robots could exist forever if they keep swiping and drinking booze, but humans can't live forever if they keep drinking booze. So, I will ban alcohol from ALL HUMANS!

**Leela:** Are you familiar with the 1920's?

**Bender:** Prohibition?

**Leela:** Yep.

**Bender:** Well, that _would_ kill all humans. But, if that happened, I would have trouble finding my booze money. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a crotch plate.

_[Bender takes his chef's hat out of his self-container, and puts it on his head.]_

**Bender:** Oh, well. I guess I'll whip up a recipe that is so good, it'll make Mom live forever.

**Leela:** Thoughtful, but you're not God.

**Bender:** Says who?

**Leela:** Says God.

**Bender:** Damn! Oh wait, do aliens have a recipe to make humans live forever?

_[The Professor chimes in from behind his workbench.]_

**Professor:** If you're referring to the king and queen of Eden 7, you would be wrong. But if you're referring to the king and queen of Omicron Percei 8, you would be correct.

_[The Professor pulls out a red IPod Classic from within his work desk. He places it into a docking station in front of the mega widescreen T.V. in the work area.]_

**Professor: **I was just looking through my IPod library collection and came across that dumb show that we put on for those ugly swine-heads. It also taped the alien's review of the show.

_[The Professor presses the "Play" button on the IPod, but nothing happens. He tries it again, and again and again, becoming increasingly frustrated.]_

**Professor:** Oooh, this damn thing keeps freezing up.

**Leela:** Uh, Professor, you forgot to unlock it.

**Professor:** Wha-?

_[Leela takes her finger and moves the Lock switch to the Unlock position, then presses the Play button.]_

_[The screen cuts from static to Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Percei 8. He's standing in the lounge area of his spacecraft.]_

**Lrrr:** Attention, McNeal. We are reasonable satisfied with the events we have seen. Overall, I would rate it a C-plus. Okay, not great. As a result, we will not destroy your planet, but neither will we give you our recipe for immortality.

_[Bender's eyes widen. Then, a scheming, evil expression washes over his face as he giggles.]_

**Bender:** _(evilly)_ Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee. I begin scheming.

_[__**Scene 2: **__In outer space, we see the Planet Express ship flying by.]_

_[Inside the spaceship, Leela is at the pilot's seat, Fry is at a console, and Bender, smoking a cigar, is at the other console.]_

**Leela:** This seems a little strange.

**Fry:** What? You always say that about me.

**Leela:** I mean after The Professor found that video of Omicron Percei Eight's king, we suddenly have to deliver several thousand laser guns to them today. It's so weird.

**Bender:** It's not weird. Omicron Persec 8 is a war planet. Everyone knows that Earth humans are senseless enough to make the most destructive weapons in the universe. And apparently, our rich enemies need to restock for an upcoming war.

**Leela:** its Percei EIGHT, Bender.

**Bender: **That's what I said.

**Fry:** Nope, you said—

**Leela:** Can we stop this? I argue with you idiots enough as it is.

**Bender:** You said it, girl.

**Leela:** Thank you, it's about-HEY!

_[Bender giggles a little.]_

_[A moment passes, then it hits Fry.]_

**Fry:** Hey! That wasn't nice!

_[Leela giggles, and Bender laughs.]_

_[The Planet Express ship approaches the planet Omicron Percei 8. As the ship sails toward the planet, a text slowly appears on the lower part of the screen that reads "Omicron Percei 8". After a brief second, a text appears below the first text that reads "The birthplace of the middle finger."]_

_[Inside the Planet Express ship, the camera is fixed on Leela communicating to an angry jabbering voice, Fry focusing on the blinking lights on the console, and Bender at the other console. As Leela talks to the angry voice, Bender gradually creeps below his console.]_

**Leela:** This is Captain Turanga Leela, requesting directions to the delivery landing area.

_[The angry voice jabbers in a foreign tongue.]_

**Leela:** _(normal)_ Yes, it's for order number Foxtrot-Union-Juliet-Eagle-Rocket-Kilo 1-3-9-7.

_[The angry voice becomes more intense with his jabbering.]_

**Leela:** _(slightly irritated)_ Okay, that's F-U-J-E-R-K-1-3-9-7.

_[By this time, Bender has crept totally under the console. The angry voice sounds more tame and calm with its jabbering. Suddenly, Fry bursts out laughing. As this happens, the door behind Leela opens and closes. No one else notices.]_

**Fry:** _(laughing)_ HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE! WOW! That's was funny! HA, HA, HA! HA, HA! HA! Whew!

**Leela:** _(to the radio)_ I'm sorry. My co-pilot stubbed his toe. Can you repeat that?

_[The angry voice jabbers briefly.]_

**Leela:** Just drop the package on the ground inside the main gate?

_[Angry voice jabbers a confirmation grunt.]_

**Leela:** You are aware that the package does not have insurance on it?

_[Angry voice jabbers louder in confirmation.]_

**Leela:** Alright, alright. We'll drop it right on ya.

_[Leela puts away the radio and grabs a lever above her head.]_

**Leela:** Yeesh! Who's the jerk, now? Releasing cargo.

_[Leela's hand yanks the lever.]_

_[Outside the ship, the cargo hatch opens, and the crates full of weapons drop down. As it descends to the surface, several parachutes fly open. The crates descent gently and touchdown on the surface to some awaiting soldiers of the royal army.]_

_[As the parachutes drape over the boxes, the soldiers look a little confused.]_

**Soldier 1:** This is unusual. The king always tells us when we are to expect gifts from Earth. Grr-Err-Orr, why did you allow them to drop these weapons upon us?

_[The soldier who sounds like the Angry Voice that Leela was talking to responds in the same angry manner as before. But as he speaks, a text appears and disappears appropriately. The text reads, "It's weapons! It's the king's favorite gift."]_

**Soldier 1:** You make an excellent point. Let's hope the king doesn't destroy you for allowing this to happen.

_[Angry voice spurts out an insult. A text appears and reads, "&# $%&#!".]_

_[__**Scene 3:**__ Inside the Omicron Percei 8 castle, a bunch of soldiers start hauling the crates inside. One of the soldiers has a crate upon his back. As he walks, we see two puffs of air puff up from the ground along with the sound of footcups softly landing. The soldier stops at hearing the cups, pauses thinks, and brushes it away. He continues hauling the crates. As he walks off, we hear more footcups running away. Suddenly, a door opens by itself revealing a well-lit hallway. The walking sound goes inside.]_

_[From inside the hallway, the door closes with a loud thud. We hear Bender's voice.]_

**Bender:** _(evilly)_ Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee. Good thing I found this cloaking device in the professor's ass-cake. Now, to get that present for Mommy.

_[We hear Bender running down the hall. He turns a corner. His running fades away.]_

_[In the royal headquarters, we see Lrrr and Ndnd on their thrones. They are flanked by two of their guards. Before them are the soldiers who retrieved the crates of weapons and the weapons as well.]_

**Soldier 1:** My king and queen, I present you with the unexpected weapons that were brought here from Earth.

**Lrrr:** This is an outrage. Earth is never supposed to deliver anything here without using my expired credit card.

_[Lrrr points to the guard on his left and barks an order.]_

**Lrrr:** You there. Get the Earth ambassadors!

_[In a dark tunnel, lit only by a couple of flood lights, we see the Texas Powerhouse and Milady at their lab. They're both in work overalls all covered in black grease, a sign of their work. They are also donning welding goggles. They are both working on their Ford Expedition. It's the same vehicle they've used before, but they have just removed the iron exterior and are currently replacing the frame exterior with a titanium-based material fused with space-ready plasticity, giving the exterior a glossy look. Also, the truck bed is occupied with a massive rocket engine system.]_

_[At the front of the truck, Milady holds a piece of the exterior frame to the frame while she watches her husband weld it on. Sparks fly from the weld spot briefly. Powerhouse stops, looks, and sees the piece is on like it should. He hops off the truck and sets the welding tool safely on the frame. Powerhouse and Milady remove their goggles as Powerhouse talks.]_

**Powerhouse:** Alright. Almost done. Thanks for the help, babe.

**Milady:** No prob, babe.

_[Powerhouse and Milady give each other a peck of a kiss and retreat back to the lab.]_

**Milady:** I wonder how much time we have left.

**Powerhouse:** Can't be long now. It's only a matter of time befor—

_[Suddenly, a roaring ringtone is heard. It's coming from an IIIPad. Milady and Powerhouse recognize the ringtone.]_

**Powerhouse:** I wonder what took them so long.

_[Powerhouse and Milady go to a locker in their lab, and pull out cloaks for them to put on. This conceals their identities to the unfamiliar eye. They go to the ringing IIIPad.]_

_[Powerhouse pushes the answer button on the IIIPad and Lrrr's and Ndnd's faces appear on the IIIPad.]_

**Ndnd:** You! Ambassadors of Omicron Percei 8 for the Democratic Order of Planets! A strange green spaceship from Earth has delivered a big crate full of weapons to us. What is this supposed to mean?

**Powerhouse:** Well, it could mean one of many several different things, Your Majesty. I would guess that Earth's citizens want to open a trade market with you. I know they love those feisty underlying soil crabs.

**Milady:** On the other hand, they could also be saying that they're about to go to war, and they want your help in their fight for freedom.

**Lrrr:** Wait! Didn't we wipe out their armies and lands for their below-average entertainment?

**Milady:** Times change, Your Majesty. Besides, I'm pretty sure that they have already chosen their battles before they asked you for your almighty blessings of war.

**Lrrr:** Why didn't they just come down here and talk to us?

**Powerhouse:** What? And disrespect your palace with their unworthy Carbon Dioxide and Methane?

**Lrrr:** _(scoffs)_ Wimps.

**Powerhouse: **Either way, we will investigate and find out why this happened.

**Lrrr:** Make it fast, or I will come down there, and get the answers myself.

_[The IIIPad powers off. Milady and Powerhouse quickly get out of their cloaks and rush back to their truck.]_

**Milady:** Can't be that much longer _now_, babe!

**Powerhouse:** No, kidding!

_[__**Scene 4:**__ In a hallway in the Omicron Persei 8 castle, we see two Omicron guards posted on either side of a steel door big enough to let any Omicron into. It has a sign posted above in an alien language. The camera pans up and lets the sign fill up the entire screen. We hear Bender's voice below the camera.]_

**Bender:** Hey buddy. What's that on your mole?

**Guard:** Huh?

_[Suddenly, we hear pounding and crunching noises below. The pounding and crunching continues as a text appears on the lower part of the screen that reads, "The Omicronian Formula for Immortality: Use Only In The Event Of An Imperialistic War". The noise below stops. The text disappears as the camera pans back down to find that both guards have been subdued and unconscious. A little blue card floats in the air and goes into the electronic vault lock. The lock console lights up and beeps softly. Suddenly, we hear several locks unlocking. The door creeps open. Inside the vault is a scroll on a pedestal under one light. Bender is heard giggling in delight as we hear foot cups hitting the ground.]_

_[From within the vault, we hear foot cups approaching. The cups stop. Bender speaks as the scroll starts floating in the air.]_

**Bender:** At last. With this recipe, Mom will definitely make me her bestest, greatest, happiest, favorit-ist Bender in the world. Plus, I can actually _make_ money so I can get the coppers off my ass. Oh, Bender, you oughta kiss yourself.

_[We see the scroll as it is opened. In big letters of bad handwriting, the scroll reads, "Too Late, Buddy!" Bender gasps.]_

**Bender:** WHAT THE-?

_[A red light starts beeping on the handle of the scroll.]_

**Bender:** _(perplexed)_ Hell?

_[BOOM! Outside the vault, we hear the scroll explode, sending Bender straight to the wall across from the vault door with a sharp, loud thud, making an imprint of the rear of his body in the wall. Smoke seeps out of the vault as we see an electronic field glitching where Bender's imprint is. The glitching makes way to Bender's burned, and slightly battered body. As he speaks, Bender brushes some debris off of is body, and reaches inside his compartment. He pulls out a small, round, smoking device, which is the remnants of the cloaking device.]_

**Bender:** Dammit! Some jerk beat me!

_[On the roof of the hallway, the smoke from the vault creeps towards some sensors. Suddenly, alarms start blaring and a sprinkler system starts spraying water in all of the building.]_

**Bender:** AWW, DAMMIT! I'm boned!

_[Bender runs off.]_

_[Back in the royal chambers, Ndnd points to the soldier with the crates.]_

**Ndnd:** You there! Cut open the crate and let us inspect these weapons.

_[Suddenly, the alarm goes off in the chambers. Lrr is stunned and angry, while the Queen is just stunned.]_

**Lrrr:** The immortal alarm! Someone's trying to steal our Recipe for Immortality! GUARDS! Find the thief and DESTROY IT! If the thief is a robot, tear his limbs off, abuse its body with them, then destroy it. If the thief is a human, tear its limbs off, amuse its body with them, then crush the head. If the thief is one of our own, just capture him! I will destroy him MY WAY!

_[In the cockpit of the Planet Express ship, Leela is flying the ship. Suddenly, Fry dashes in, panting.]_

**Fry:** I can't find him anywhere!

**Leela:** Did you check the torpedo tubes? He likes to do them in there.

**Fry:** Yes, even the laser ones.

**Leela:** Dammit, Bender! Why did you disappear?

_[The wrist robot on Leela's wrist beeps. A female computer voice speaks.]_

**Wrist Computer:** Call from….

_[We hear Bender's voice with laser blasts in the background.]_

**Bender's voice:** I was trying to steal a present!

_[Fry and Bender gasp in horror. Leela presses a button on the wrist.]_

**Leela:** BENDER! Where the hell are you?

**Bender's voice:** I'm coming up your cleavage! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

_[From within the palace halls, we see Bender running and dodging laser blasts coming from behind. He's talking like normal, but his top antenna is blinking red.]_

**Bender:** Some lucky bastard got the juice before I did. Now, my cover is blown up, and I'm about to become valuable scrap metal! GET MY SHINY METAL ASS OUTTA HERE!

_[We see an angry Leela scolding Bender through the wrist robot as a concerned Fry looks on.]_

**Leela:** You violated intergalactic law, tried to steal one of the most precious fables in the universe, and you started another inter-stellar war. Normally, I'd say 'NO WAY IN HELL', but I don't want to deal with Fry's crying for a whole year!

**Fry:** Hey, I would not — uh, yeah I would.

_[Bender dashes into a dark alleyway, avoiding two charging guards, as Leela talks.]_

**Leela:** Bender, we'll turn around and I'll start scanning for you in the palace. In the meantime, keep running.

**Bender:** I found a dark alley. I'll lie low while you find my ass!

_[Back in the Planet Express Ship, Leela talks into the radio.]_

**Leela:** Copy that.

_[From outside, the Planet Express ship turns sharply around and heads back toward Omicron Percei 8.]_

_[Inside, Leela is piloting while Fry is typing on a computer at the ship's console.]_

**Leela:** Have you found him yet?

**Fry:** No, we're still too far away.

**Leela:** That stupid robot! Making a whole mess of trouble just for a little birthday present for Mommy! He's lucky to even CARE about his Mommy!

**Fry:** I feel you! I never liked my Mommy that much either.

_[From outside, the camera follows the Planet Express ship as it goes through the atmosphere and towards the royal palace.]_

_[Inside the Planet Express ship, Fry is looking at a screen which has a floor plan of the Omicron Persei 8 palace. The image beeps as it is scanning. After a moment, the screen shows a pale blue image, which is a solid image outline of Bender's body, next to a wall.]_

**Fry:** I found him! He's next to a thin wall in the west hallway.

**Leela:** Prepare the magnet!

_[Fry presses a button on the computer dash.]_

_[From outside the Planet Express ship, we see the cargo bay opening. A big magnet, similar to the one seen in "The Series Has Landed", shows itself from the ship's cargo bay, and is pointed forward.]_

_[In the cockpit, we see Fry looking at a screen with Bender's frame in the center. A digital number on the screen goes from 60% to 100%. When it hits 100%, a red text reading "LOCK ON" appears on the screen.]_

**Fry:** We have a lock on Bender's materials!

**Leela: **Pull him outta there!

_[Fry hits another button on the computer dash,]_

_[From within the castle, Bender slams into a wall with a thud and a grunt. His body appears to be pulled into the wall. Bender's body starts shaking, causing him to yell.]_

**Bender:** _(in pain)_ O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h, baby!

_[Suddenly, Bender's body pierces through the wall and flies away, leaving a small piece of scrap metal and a few angry Omicronian guards that were chasing him.]_

_[The camera is fixed on the Planet Express magnet. The ship is still flying at a fast speed. We hear Bender screaming, faintly at first then gets louder. Suddenly, CLUNK! Bender's back lands squarely on the magnet, prompting Bender to sing a square dance. The magnet retreats into the ship and the hangar bay door closes as Bender sings.]_

**Bender: **_(singing)_ _Time to roam around the room/Dance around like a bride and groom/Shoulder swing and kick your feet/'round the bend and make it sweet._

_[The Planet Express ship pulls up and goes out of the atmosphere.]_

_**[COMMERCIAL BREAK]**_

_[__**ACT II Scene 1:**__ The camera circles around the Planet Express ship.]_

_[Inside the Planet Express headquarters, Fry, Leela, Bender and the Professor are all talking. Bender is still bent in a couple places on his body, with a small piece of his back-right side appeared to be torn off.]_

**Prof:** What? Someone stole the God-making refreshment before you could?

_[Bender shows the Professor the injury in his back as he talks.]_

**Bender:** Yeah! On top of that, when Fry and Leela pulled me out, the wall took out a part of my back.

_[The Professor gasps as he looks at Bender's torn back.]_

**Prof:** BENDER! You lost the part of your back side that contains your serial number! If the Omicronians find that piece of scrap, they'll smell your rat trail all the way back here to Earth.

**Fry:** How? Does Bender smell inside?

_[Bender grabs Fry's neck, choking. Leela explains while Fry is gasping.]_

**Leela:** Honey, the serial number has all of Bender's information. Where he was made, who made him, and his most precious thoughts. If the Omicronians decode the serial number, they're going to come to Earth looking for him.

**Bender:** And I will NOT go to Mom's Birthday Party with that Birthday Present.

_[Fry, still being choked, is still confused.]_

**Fry:** _(gagging)_ Wha-? You didn't get her anything.

_[Bender chokes Fry harder, making Fry gag harder.]_

**Bender:** Nothing but a possible Omicronian-issued death warrant!

_[Fry whimpers at the logic.]_

_[Back in the tunnels, Powerhouse and Milady, in their cloaks, are talking to Lrrr & Ndnd via the IIIPad.]_

**Lrrr:** Your robot-making mother sent one of her robots to steal the immortality formula?

**Milady:** NO! That old bitch is not our literal mother! She's just the one that created all of Earth's robots!

**Ndnd:** But, why is she called Mom?

**Powerhouse:** I don't know. Ask _your_ mother.

**Lrrr:** Grrrr…this is an outrage! This Mom must pay for stealing the recipe!

**Powerhouse:** Are you sure? What if the robot just malfunctioned due to a solar blast?

**Milady:** It's possible. Those old Bender units are especially prone to our sun's powerful flares.

**Ndnd:** She is STILL responsible for making the robot in the first place.

**Powerhouse:** Your majesties, can you at least give Mom a chance to explain? Maybe you can reach an understanding?

**Lrrr:** Fine! We'll explain what we want from her.

**Milady:** Thank you, Your Majesty. You will find that Mom is a very rational human.

_[The IIIPad goes black. Powerhouse and Milady quickly strip from their cloaks. When the cloak is clear, we see Milady wearing a slick black body suit with a belt that holds two guns and a few gun magazines. She has black eye shadow on along with black lipstick on her lips. When Powerhouse's cloak clears, his chest is covered by a black t-shirt covered with two black belts crossing his chest and around his back. The belts up front are loaded with what looks like shotgun shells. On the back side are two modern-looking electricity-enhanced pump-action shotguns. Powerhouse's torso features black denim jeans, leading down to his freshly-polished cowboy boots.]_

**Milady:** Mom is going to deny and insult them until she meets their lasers.

**Powerhouse: **Damn right.

_[Soft, heavy metal music starts as the camera focuses on Milady.]_

**Milady:** The truck's ready.

_[The camera goes to Powerhouse.]_

**Powerhouse:** We better finish this now! Let's drink up.

_[The music gets slightly louder as Powerhouse and Milady go to a small, room-sized refrigerator.]_

_[From their point of view, we see Powerhouse opening the refrigerator. A soft, blue glow emerges from the refrigerator as it cracks open. The glow gives way to two plastic bottles with a clear, water-like liquid inside, which is glowing a soft blue.]_

_[Powerhouse and Milady smile.]_

**Powerhouse:** The Omicron Percei 8 immortality elixir.

_[The heavy metal gives way to a more ominous, creepy-like sound, as if the music is giving the elixir is the real deal and deserves a lot of reverence.]_

**Milady:** Simple to make, yet fun to drink.

**Powerhouse:** I love you.

**Milady:** I'm still scared, so can your sarcasm, drink up, and pray we live.

**Powerhouse:** Touchy.

_[The creepy-reverent music gives to a Heavy metal chord. Milady and Powerhouse take a bottle each from the refrigerator.]_

_[Another heavy metal chord. Milady and Powerhouse open their bottles.]_

_[A descending metal chord. Milady starts gulping down the elixir.]_

_[Powerhouse starts drinking the elixir quickly.]_

_[The camera is on the floor. We see Milady and Powerhouse's feet, both pairs rock steady. The music stops. After a second, we hear Milady and Powerhouse exhale after drinking the elixir. Then, both bottles drop to the ground as we hear Milady and Powerhouse gasping, woozily. Powerhouse and Milady drop to the ground, groaning softly.]_

_[From a side of the laboratory, a single light is shining from the opposite, catching the shadow silhouette of Powerhouse and Milady as they are still kneeling, soothing their foreheads. We hear them groaning softly in pain.]_

_[We see a shelf above the single shining light. On the shelf are two cowboy hats. Powerhouse and Milady groan for a moment. Then, silence. After a moment, we see the silhouettes of Milady's hand getting the hat on the left side, followed by the silhouette of Powerhouse's hand getting the hat on the right.]_

_[From the opposite side of the shining light, we see the silhouette of Milady and Powerhouse placing their hats on their head. They are still facing the light.]_

**Powerhouse:** Are you seeing the light?

**Milady:** The world will soon enough.

_[Suddenly, the chorus of Skillet's "Madness in Me" kicks up as Milady and Powerhouse turn towards the camera. Their eyes are emitting a piercing, dark blue glow, but we still can't see their face. Also, the glow has consumed their pupils from sight.]_

_[From the single light's view, we see past Powerhouse and Milady's shoulders. They are looking at their completed Ford Expedition. The dark slick design indicated that it is ready for fast space travel, probably even time travel.]_

_[With the single light shining in the camera's face, we see a close-up of Powerhouse's head, but still unable to see his face, except for his glowing eyes.]_

**Powerhouse:** Let's blow this joint.

_[With the single light shining in the camera's face, we see a close-up of Milady's head, but still unable to see her face, except for her glowing eyes.]_

**Milady:** I'll set the self-destruct.

_[From above, the silhouette figure of Powerhouse jogs to the driver side of the Expedition. Milady, during this, fetches the IIIPad from the wall, takes it, and starts punching in commands. Suddenly, we see a row of small red lights light up from the back wall. Milady gently places the IIIPad on the ground, and runs to the passenger side of the Expedition.]_

_[Facing the front of the Expedition, the camera captures Powerhouse entering the driver's side, quickly followed by Milady in the passenger side. We still don't see their faces, aside from their glowing eyes. Suddenly, the truck fires up with a LOUD, MIGHTY ROAR! The headlights of the truck come on, emitting a powerful white glow.]_

_[__**Act II Scene 2:**__ The heavy metal music winds down as we see the camera circulating the Planet Express ship.]_

_[Inside the lounge, we see Fry, Leela, and Bender on the couch watching T.V. Leela is still not entirely happy with the situation, Bender is trying to play it cool, and Fry is visibly preoccupied by fear. From the T.V., we hear Morbo's voice.]_

**Morbo:** The following video was taken from the birth celebration gathering for robot builder, Mom.

_[The camera shows the lounge T.V. broadcasting the Birthday Party for Mom. We see the entire robot population dancing and partying among a heavy smoke cloud at the gathering area at Mom's Friendly Robot Factory Headquarters. Linda is heard over the whopping and cheering for Mom.]_

**Linda: **Despite exhaust levels, the robots only killed seventy birds, which is an all-time low for Mom's Birthday Party.

_[The T.V. screen shows Mom in her southern-influenced dress on her rocking dress.]_

**Mom:** I always want my babies to run as efficiently as possible. Once all of their efficiency upgrades are installed, we can all breathe the love better.

_[The image of Mom freezes and zooms out into an insert box, making way for Linda to report on the newscast.]_

**Linda:** Despite her address, only eight percent of the robot population has the latest upgrades for fuel efficiency.

_[The camera goes to Leela, Fry and Bender.]_

**Leela:** Well, this is a great way to avoid inter-stellar criminal charges – sitting down and doing nothing.

**Bender:** Yep. Just stay in, lie low, and hope everyone out there is as dumb as everyone makes it to be.

**Fry:** I'm scared.

_[A civilian's car flies past the window with a moderately soft humming sound. This sends Fry screaming and hiding his head under the couch cushion. But, after a brief moment, Fry starts gagging, and gets his head out from under the cushion.]_

**Fry:** Geez, Bender! How can I wallow in fear if you can't find a better place for your robo-lingerie collection?

**Bender:** Maybe you should keep your nose out of my business?

**Fry:** Aw, Bender. I always liked you as a friend, but you are making me reconsider it.

_[Bender is saddened by that statement.]_

**Bender:** Aw, I'm sorry, Fry. I didn't mean to make you both accessories to breaking and entering a palace, but you have to understand. Nothing is more important than the gift of life, which is why I hope you understand HOW SCARED I AM FOR MY LIFE!

**Leela:** BENDER! Your life is NOT the only one here that could get burned!

**Bender:** You two have lives outside this place? I never knew that!

_[Suddenly, the T.V. has a brief static sound, revealing the face of Lrrr in his battle cape. He appears to be broadcasting from the bridge of his battle space ship.]_

**Lrrr:** Attention, Earth!

_[Bender, Fry, and Leela react to the image.]_

**Leela:** Oh, God!

**Fry:** HELP ME!

**Bender:** We….are…boned!

_[The image goes back to Lrrr.]_

**Lrrr:** For those that don't remember, I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron Persei 8. You have sent a robot to my planet to steal our recipe for immortality, and you were successful!

_[The image goes to Bender, who is clearly angry at the lie.]_

**Bender:** WHAT?! YOU FAT, LYING BASTARD!

_[The image goes back to Lrrr.]_

**Lrrr:** We have one, ONLY one, offer for Earth. Surrender the robot responsible for the theft, along with our Recipe for Immortality, or we will DESTROY all of Earth, starting with the one you call "Mom". GIVE BACK OUR RECIPE!

_[The screen goes to HypnoToad. The screen is quickly is turned off.]_

_[The camera shows Leela with the remote control. Fry is even more scared, and Bender is angry and scared at the same time.]_

**Leela:** Bender, you better not be lying about the formula!

**Fry:** Yeah! Please be straight with us!

**Bender:** I SWEAR TO YOU! I HAVE NOTHING EXCEPT A HOLE IN MY BACK!

**Leela:** I'm sorry, Bender, but there is only one way for us to be sure. I mean, we're talking about the power of God, here.

_[Bender gasps in horror.]_

**Bender:** Not the—

_[Suddenly, the camera goes to the laboratory, where Bender is clamped down to the workbench. A powerful electro-magnet is just above Bender's head. Fry, Leela, the Professor, and Hermes are present to watch. Bender screams in terror.]_

**Bender:** _(screaming; terrified)_ MAGNET!

**Prof:** I'm sorry, Bender! I normally don't interrogate my employees like this, but uh-Hermes will explain why I have to do this.

**Hermes:** If Mom is killed, robot stocks will collapse, which will lead to economist wetting their pants, which will lead to employers not employing people, which will lead the world to another depression. And it'll be worse than the one in 2936.

_[Bender starts screaming to the point where oil drops are emitting from his eyes.]_

**Bender:** _(crying, screaming in_ _fear)_ NOOOOOOO! THE STRIP JOINTS! THE SMOKE HOUSES! THE BOOZE STORES! THEY'LL DIE ALONG WITH MOMMY!

_[Leela sees Bender crying oil. That's enough convincing for her.]_

**Leela:** Professor, Bender's not lying!

**Prof:** Hu-What? We haven-

_[The Professor sees Bender crying.]_

**Prof:** My God! I never thought I'd live the day where I see a robot cry. Leela, get him off of there.

_[We see Leela unlocking the clamps from Bender, still pouting, on the workbench while the electro-magnet is being hoisted out of sight.]_

_[Bender sits on the floor, consoled by Fry and Leela.]_

**Bender:** Thank you, Leela! If we live to see another day together, I will never steal from your purse again.

**Leela: **I somehow wish that meant something.

_[Bender stands up on his feet, motivated and determined.]_

**Bender:** Okay! Someone framed my shiny metal ass for supreme grand theft. I'm going to get to the bottom this! But to be safe, I need a couple chumps to tag along.

_[Bender thinks, then looks at Fry and Leela. Fry takes a guess.]_

**Fry:** Are we going to see your Mommy?

**Bender:** Of course! Her wrinkly, old ass is at stake, too. If it gets burned, I couldn't go on living.

**Leela:** Awwww….

_[__**Act II Scene 3:**__ A drastic interlude is heard as the camera zooms in on Mom's Friendly Robot Headquarters.]_

_[Inside Mom's office, Bender is standing while Mom, in her purple bodysuit, is pacing around.]_

**Mom:** So, you were just delivering a crate of supplies, and you used a cloaking device to get inside and try to steal that recipe scroll to make an elixir for immortality. _(acting excited)_ Did you get the scroll, dearie?

**Bender:** No, Mommy!

**Mom:** _(not happy)_ Oh. So you're framed for Intergalactic Grand Theft?

**Bender:** Yes, Mommy!

**Mom:** Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself for your old, gentle Mommy's life?

**Bender:** _(hesitantly)_ Y-yes, Mommy.

_[Mom approaches Bender in a consoling manner.]_

**Mom:** You are a good Bender unit. Going out there for your crime to protect your Mother. We will always remember you, Bending unit.

**Bender:** Awww, I love you, Mommy.

**Mom:** _(loud, obnoxious)_ Security, take him to the Omicronian King!

_[Several robotic guards, with R.P. painted on them, clamp Bender and take him away.]_

_[Outside of the office, Fry and Leela are waiting anxiously.]_

**Fry:** I hope Bender knows what he is doing.

**Leela:** He should. Mom and Bender can put both of their cunning heads together and –

_[The office door opens. Bender is being escorted out by two Robot Police units.]_

**Leela:** Bender, what are you doing?

**Bender:** I'm giving myself up to the Omicronians.

_[Heroic, dramatic music starts. Fry, clearly upset, tries to get to Bender, as if to rescue him, but Leela is holding him back.]_

**Fry:** Wha-Bender! No! NO, DON'T DO THIS!

**Leela:** Fry, don't!

**Fry:** BENDER!

**Leela:** Fry, this may be much easier for me to take than it is for you, but honey-honey! Bender knows what he's doing. He wouldn't do it if it wasn't for his Mommy.

_[Fry cries a bit more.]_

**Bender:** Hey, buddy. I know this isn't pretty, but I gotta do this. I started this, and now thanks to you, I going to finish it. If a war starts after my destruction, make the rally cry, "REMEMBER THE BENDER!"

_[Fry sniffles.]_

**Fry:** I'll make sure the banner is torn just slightly, just like you like it.

_[Bender appears to be smiling in proud defeat. He is carted off by the Robot P.D.]_

_[Outside of Mom's Friendly Robot Factory, Bender, still escorted by Mom's Robot Police, approaches the Omicronian spaceship, which is landed just outside the building. Lrrr, along with two of his guards are waiting at the entrance ramp of the spaceship.]_

_[Bender is placed on his knees before Lrrr by the Robot Police. The Robot Police officers speak.]_

**Robot Police1:** Sir, this is the robot that betrayed Mom.

**Robot Police2:** She is hoping that because this robot is surrendering willingly, you will leave Earth.

**Lrrr:** I can only accept that if this robot has our Recipe for Immortality.

_[The Robot Police officers look at each other.]_

_[Bender, still knelt down, whimpers for he knows the truth.]_

_[Robot Police1 speaks.]_

**Robot Police1: **Inspect his cargo area.

_[Suddenly, the Robot Police officers dash away quietly.]_

_[Lrrr commands his guards.]_

**Lrrr:** Guards, bring him aboard.

_[Sad, heroic music is heard. The guards proceed past their commander.]_

_[The guards grab Bender. Bender doesn't fight back as he is escorted into the ship, for he confused. He doesn't see the logic in their motives.]_

**Bender:** Uh, so no one wants to check me out?

_[__**ACT II Scene 4:**__ A military drum cadence is heard. From space, we see planet Earth where several Omicronian spaceships are hovering in orbit. The small spaceship that landed on Earth, flies past the orbiting ships and eventually past the camera. The camera follows the moving ship around as it passes. The small ship appears to be heading toward the Omicronian mothership, which is in the same basic design of the orbiters, but over 1000 times bigger.]_

_[From just outside the Omicronian mothership, we see the small ship, which looks very miniscule in comparison, flying in.]_

_[From inside a landing area in the Omicronian mothership, the smaller ship enters the landing bay. It's landing legs open, and the ship sets down. The ship powers down upon its landing.]_

_[The entrance gateway from the smaller ship opens up. Lrrr leaves first, followed by his two guards escorting Bender. They are also followed by three crewmembers.]_

_[The military cadence fades away. Inside a hallway in the mothership, Lrrr, Bender and the two guards escorting him are walking along. Lrrr explains what's going on.]_

**Lrrr:** Once you get on the operating bed, we will inspect your insides and extract the recipe from you.

_[Bender just wants to get this over with.]_

**Bender:** Or, you can just open my empty chest right now and get it over with?

_[Lrr stops right in his tracks, stopping everyone else. Lrrr turns to Bender.]_

**Lrrr:** You know, for a sacrifice, you are very cooperative. _(points to a guard escorting Bender)_ You, search him now.

_[The guard gets in front of Bender, while the other guard restrains both of Bender's arms. The guard opens up Bender's chest, and looks inside, eventually placing his entire head inside. This tickles Bender a little.]_

**Bender:** _(giggling)_ Hey, hey, hey, hey! Girls have given me better head than that, buddy!

_[The guard brings his head out of Bender and turns to Lrrr.]_

**Guard 1:** Sir, the Recipe is NOT in the robot.

_[The news infuriates Lrrr.]_

**Lrrr:** _(infuriated)_ GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Deploy the fleet! DESTROY ALL LIFE ON EARTH!

_[Dramatic chord is briefly heard. Bender, ticked off at this, shouts at Lrrr.]_

**Bender:** YOU FAT, TYRRANICAL BASTARD!

_[Lrrr is not really moved by Bender's insult.]_

**Lrrr:** Take the robot to the torture cell. Tell them to use to our strongest electro-magnets.

_[Bender cries like a baby at the news.]_

_[In a different spaceport on the Omicronian mothership, two guards are curious by an approaching sound.]_

_[From the guards' viewpoint, they don't see anything but the approaching sound grows louder. It is quickly revealed that the approaching sound is a diesel engine.]_

_[The guards start to cover their ears as the sound gets really loud. They can't a good read on what is happening.]_

_[From their viewpoint, they still see nothing. But, along with the deafening Diesel engine sound, we hear some electrical whirring sounds, and the sounds of four tires landing on the platform. After a brief moment, the Diesel engine stops, and all the other sounds are silenced.]_

_[The guards, realizing that the sounds have stopped, prepare their electricity-prodding sabers for anything.]_

_[Heavy Metal music starts. Suddenly, from the open void of the spaceport, what appears to be an opening from a pick-up truck quickly reveals itself. Milady quickly jumps out from the opening, her eyes still glowing a dark blue and her two guns drawn at the guards. Another door is heard opening.]_

_[Just above Milady, Powerhouse, his eyes still glowing a dark blue, jumps up upon his supposedly invisible truck, with one of his shotguns trained on the guards. It seems like he is suspended in air to our eyes.]_

_[The guards point their sabers at the intruders, prepared for combat.]_

**Guard1:** INTRUDERS!

_[The camera goes to Powerhouse, his weapon still trained on the guards.]_

**Powerhouse:** SHUT UP! Throw your weapons down and surrender, or we'll stun you.

_[The music suspends with a chord as we see the guards squint their eyes at their prey, trying to get a good read on them.]_

_[Powerhouse & Milady don't flinch at all, as if they're saying that they're not playing around.]_

_[The camera focuses on Guard 1's anxious eyes, still trying to read his prey.]_

_[The camera focuses on Milady's merciless, glowing eyes. She's not moving.]_

_[The camera focuses on Guard 2's nervous eyes, still trying to read his prey.]_

_[The camera focuses on Powerhouse's merciless, glowing eyes. He's not moving.]_

_[The music stops. The camera shows the Guards sabers shooting two shots.]_

_[The camera shows the two laser blasts bouncing off of Milady's head and Powerhouse's shoulders, hitting the ship and exploding around Powerhouse & Milady.]_

_[The guards are stunned at what they saw.]_

**Guard2:** Are-are you immortal?

**Milady:** Thank you for your planet's gift.

**Powerhouse:** Even though we stole it from you in the first place.

_[Powerhouse and Milady fire one laser shot from their weapons.]_

_[The laser shots hit Guard 1 & Guard 2, sending electric surges into their bodies and knocking them out. They collapse to the floor.]_

_[Heavy metal music starts. Powerhouse & Milady run towards the door that leads to the inside of the ship.]_

**Powerhouse:** We have thirty minutes at best.

**Milady:** Let's end this!

_[We see Powerhouse and Milady entering the door. As the door SLAMS shut, the Heavy Metal music concludes with a BOOM! The image goes black at the same time.]_

_**[COMMERCIAL BREAK]**_

_[__**ACT III Scene 1:**__ We hear the eerie, building music of Gustav Holst's "Mars: The Bringer of War" starts playing. We see hundreds of Earth fighter ships leaving the Earth's atmosphere.]_

_[From outer space, we see hundreds of Omicronian fighter ships heading towards Earth.]_

_[The camera follows along-side some of the Earth fighters, which appear to be X-wing fighters from Star Wars, only with bigger laser cannons, and a much shorter nose. They're all colored black, and the windshields are slightly lighter in color. The camera follows the fighters as they continue to the oncoming war.]_

_[The camera follows along-side the Omicronian fighters, which appear to be flying saucers with teeth spouting out of the rotating edges. The camera follows the fighters as they prepare to attack Earth's forces.]_

_[The music builds even more. From a distance in space, we see the Earth fighters flying away from Earth and towards the approaching Omicronian fighters.]_

_[The camera is in a still position as Earth fighters quickly fly past the camera and towards the Omicronians.]_

_[In another still position, the Omicronian fighters quickly hover past the camera towards their prey.]_

_[The camera shows a shot of the front of an Earth fighter. With its color scheme, front design, and tinted windshield, the front looks like a slightly cartoonish Darth Vader face.]_

_[The camera shows a shot of the front of an Omicronian fighter. Still looking like a flying saucer with rotating teeth, it continues on.]_

_[Inside the cockpit of one of the Earth fighters, the pilot, a Caucasian human male, holds his nerves steady. He looks at his controls.]_

_[The Earth fighter's console is shown, with both of the pilot's hands on the control stick. It's right thumb are on a button, with the text "Fire" written above it.]_

_[The camera shows the Earth pilot's eyes, looking down. The eyes look up with fierce determination.]_

_[Inside the cockpit of one of the Omicronian fighters, the pilot, a young-looking Omicronian, holds his nerves steady. He looks at his controls.]_

_[The Omicronian fighter's console, pretty fierce in nature, is shown, with both of the pilot's hands on the control stick. It's right thumb are on a button, with alien language written above it. After a moment, a subtext appears on the bottom part of the image, reading, "Eliminate".]_

_[The camera shows the Omicronian pilot's eyes, looking down. The eyes look up with fierce determination.]_

_[The camera shows the Earth pilot's thumb shaking nervously a little.]_

_[The camera shows the Omicronian pilot's thumb nice and steady.]_

_[The camera flies along-side an Omicronian fighter. The fighter blasts two lasers from its cannons.]_

_[The camera flies along-side an Earth fighter. The ship blasts two lasers from its cannons.]_

_[The music hits the suspenseful hanging part. On the screen, we see two images side by side. On the left, we see the Earth pilot's eyes and mouth open wide in fear. The image bursts the bubble to the left in slow-motion. On the right side, we see the Omicronian pilot's eyes and mouth open wide in fear. The image bursts the bubble to the right in slow-motion.]_

_[In a frozen frame, we see a still image of a laser blast heading towards an Earth fighter. The camera pans left around the ship, keeping the laser blast in sight.]_

_[In a frozen frame, we see a still image of a laser blast heading towards an Omicronian fighter. The camera pans right around the ship, keeping the laser blast in sight.]_

_[On the screen, we see two images, one on top and one of bottom. The top one shows the Earth pilot, appearing to be screaming in total terror, inaudible. The cockpit glows brighter and brighter. The bottom half of the screen shows the Omicronian fighter, not really paying attention, until his cockpit starts to glow brighter and brighter. As the last moment, he looks right in the camera and gasps, inaudible.]_

_[B-BOOM! The music hits the FAST, MERCILESS, BRUTAL part as an Earth fighter and an Omicronian fighter explode on their respective sides. We see this happen from a distance away. With the explosions, the swarms of fighters start blasting lasers, and start flying around in this interstellar war.]_

_[The camera follows a squad of three Earth fighters. They are following and firing upon five Omicronian fighters. The Earth fighters wind up destroying four fighters while the other flew away.]_

_[In the middle of the fight, we see one Earth fighter shoot and destroy one Omicronian fighter. That fighter is quickly destroyed by a different Omicronian fighter, whom is destroyed by another Earth fighter that flies right into the camera's face, sending the image to white.]_

_[From a distance, we see a squad of five Omicronians flying towards the Omicronian mothership. They are being pursued by four Earth fighters. The rest are still fighting in the space between the Mothership and Earth.]_

_[From an angle next to the mothership, we see the five Omicronian fighters whish right past the camera, quickly followed by several laser blasts and the four Earth fighters.]_

_[The camera follows the five Omicronian fighters from above. Laser blasts hit two of the fighters on the outside, and destroys them. The remaining three Omicronian fighters fire back at their attackers.]_

_[The camera follows the Earth fighters from below. Laser blasts from below destroy two of the outside fighters. The remaining two Earth fighters fire laser blasts at their prey.]_

_[The camera follows the Omicronian fighters from above. Laser blasts destroy two of the Omicronian fighters. The remaining one manages to fire one last blast at its attacker before being blown up by a laser blasts from above.]_

_[The camera sees the one remaining Earth fighter. A laser blast hits it and blows up.]_

_[From the dogfight, we see a squad of 10 Omicronian fighters break away from the hellzone and start flying rapidly towards Earth. They are pursued by six Earth fighters, who are firing lasers in their direction.]_

_[The camera follows along-side the six Earth fighters. They are firing laser shots rapidly at the Omicronian fighters.]_

_[From below, we see three of the Omicronian fighters get blown up as the others avoid the laser blasts. More lasers fly past the camera as the seven Earth fighters blast past the camera.]_

_[From above Earth, we see laser blasts hitting and destroying four of the remaining seven Omicronian fighters as they fly away from the pursing seven Earth fighters.]_

_[From in front of the four Omicronian fighters, we see the fighters gradually approaching the camera. But, by the time they get close to the camera, all four of them are blown up by the pursuing seven Earth fighters. The Earth fighters fly away from the camera as they have eliminated their prey.]_

_[The squad of seven fighters form a solid line formation as they fly towards the Omicronian mothership. Suddenly, a series of laser blasts from above and behind the small fleet hit and destroy all of the seven Earth fighters. The camera quickly pans up and spots a tiny fleet of four Omicronian fighters. Noticing that they hit their mark, the four Omicronian fighters fly towards Earth. Then, one last Earth fighter appears and pursues the Omicronian squad.]_

_[The camera follows along-side the squad of four Omicronian fighters. As they fly, we see Earth slowly appearing in view from the left side. After a moment, one of the four Omicronian fighters is hit and destroyed by a laser blast from behind. This causes the remaining three fighters to disperse. One goes off to the distant back, while the other two quickly fly towards, and past, the camera.]_

_[From the Earth fighter's position, we see one Omicronian fighter going off quickly to the right and the other two flying off to the left. The camera follows the Earth fighter veers left as he closes in on the group of two.]_

_[The two Omicronian fighters whisk past the camera, then the lone Earth fighter whooshes past, firing laser blasts.]_

_[Inside the Earth cockpit, we see a male human Caucasian, expertly piloting his ship. His body lunges to his left, then his right, and his left again, as he is actively pursuing the two fighters. He remarks at his prey's resistance.]_

**Pilot:** Damn! These Omi-cronies sure can haul their flat butts.

_[From above the two Omicronian fighters, we see them flying persistently, while avoiding laser blasts by lunging left and right.]_

_[From a point in space, we see the two Omicronian fighters whish past the camera, still avoiding the rain of lasers by lunging left and right. The Earth fighter is still pursuing relentlessly.]_

_[From the Earth fighter's cannons, we see laser blasts persistently being shot out at rapid rates.]_

_[From above the Omicronian fighters, we see a rain of lasers being shot at them. One gets hit by the lasers. This shakes the other so much, it appears to momentarily lose control and the string of laser blasts hit it and it blows up.]_

_[From the other side of the explosion, we see the Earth fighter avoiding the fireball and flies past the camera.]_

_[Inside the cockpit, the pilot celebrates his victory.]_

**Pilot:** YEAH! Score two more for the home team! Ha, Ha!

_[The Pilot quickly realizes something important.]_

**Pilot:** Oh, wait! One more!

_[From the pilot's point of view, we see the ship pulling up and right quickly. The Pilot speaks softly and inquisitively.]_

**Pilot:** OK, buddy. Where are you hi-

_[Suddenly, the last remaining Omicronian fighter rushes into view. It appears SO CLOSE to the Earth fighter, a collision is inevitable. The Pilot screams in terror.]_

**Pilot:** AYYYYYE-

_[From Holst's music, we hear four short dramatic chords (triplet, followed by a quarter note). From outside, we see both ships suspended in slow motion. The Earth fighter and the Omicronian fighter are lining up for the inevitable nose-to-nose collision.]_

_[Three more short dramatic chords are heard. Inside the Omicronian fighter, we don't hear anything, but it appears, in slow motion, that the Omicronian pilot is screaming in anger and is slowly bring his right arm in front of his face. His arm is balled into a fist.]_

_[Three more short dramatic chords are heard. Inside the Earth fighter's cockpit, we don't hear but see, in slow motion, the Earth fighter's pilot screaming in sheer terror.]_

_[Four short dramatic chords are heard (triplet, followed by a quarter note). We see, in slow motion, the noses of the fighter ships collide with each other. As they start to SLOWLY dissipate, we see a small flood of white light from the collision point that starts to spread to each fighter's hull.]_

_[Two short dramatic chords are heard. From further back, the collision is beginning to appear more obvious as the white flood begins to overtake the camera sight.]_

_[One slightly longer dramatic chord is heard. Inside the Omicronian fighter, the pilot, still inaudible and in slow motion, has extended his middle finger in the obscene gesture towards his enemy. The image quickly gets flooded out by the white light from the collision point.]_

_[One slightly longer dramatic chord is heard. Inside the Earth fighter, the pilot, still inaudible and in slow motion, appears to be sobbing at his fate. This image quickly gets flooded out by the white light from the collision point.]_

_[One slightly longer dramatic chord is heard. From outside, the white light, which is the flash of the point of impact in slow motion, overtakes the image of the two fighters colliding. Then, an audible B-BOOOM! Is heard as the white flash gives way to the image of the two fighters being blown up upon colliding with each other. The final REALLY LONG dramatic chord from Holst's music is played at the point of impact. After the impact is shown and the fireballs embellish and grow, the camera zooms out to the point where the explosion, Earth, and the Omicronian mothership are seen in this area of space. We see that the fighting is over. No Earth fighters nor Omicronian fighters survived this war. The camera stops zooming out when the music concludes.]_

_[__**Act III – Scene 2: **__After a moment, the computer generated words, "End Simulation" flash several times with accompanying buzzing sounds. The camera zooms out to reveal that the entire fight sequence was a simulation on a holographic projector aboard the Nimbus bridge, where Kif Kroker is still the acting commander. Kif was watching the entire simulation with several D.O.O.P. officers. Kif does not appear happy with what he saw. In fact, he's very nervous, but he's trying to keep calm.]_

**Kif:** An offset after three waves of battle. Oh, I cannot stand the thought of losing all of those men.

_[A lieutenant of the Army, Dolfram, comes forward and offers some advice.]_

**Dolfram:** Sir, no one wants to ever die in war, but if I may speak freely?

**Kif:** Go ahead.

**Dolfram:** This plan makes a LOT more sense than Plan Delta-Bravo-Alpha-Neptune 6-5-1.

**Kif:** Dolfram, anything is better than Brannigan's thrusting motions, but this is still-any updates on who may have put the General in recluse?

**Dolfram:** No, sir. None of the medical officers know, and no other soldier knows how General Brannigan lost his package. Plus, the nearest nuclear weapons were on the other side of the ship at the time in question.

_[Kif acts like nothing happened.]_

**Kif: **This plan is still too gruesome for our men. I cannot authorize an order that'll lead forty-five hundred men to slaughter. (_sighs_) We're going to have to send someone to go talk to the Omicronian King.

**Dolfram:** But sir, the Ambassadors for Omicron Persei 8 just took off and left their posts.

_[As the conversation takes place, we see Kif talking to Dolfram with a couple other officers watching. In the background, we see through the viewing display the Omicron Persei 8 mothership. It seems like all of its fighters are retreating to the mothership. Kif couldn't believe what he was hearing.]_

**Kif:** What? How can they just leave?

**Dolfram:** They sent headquarters a message stating that they left their posts after the King and Queen went crazy to the point where they were not able to negotiate anything.

**Kif:** Oh, dear! I wish that Zapp had his balls back.

**Dolfram:** Hu-Wha-?

**Kif:** Dolfram, prepare a shuttle for transport so I can-

_[Suddenly, the viewing hole is disrupted by static. This catches the attention of the entire bridge. The static ceases as an image of a sobered Lrrr appears on the viewing screen. He has a scroll in his right hand.]_

**Lrrr:** Attention. May I speak to the commander of the forces of Earth?

_[Kif speaks up, nervously.]_

**Kif:** Um, I am Acting Commander Kif Kroker of the Starship Nimbus.

**Lrrr:** Commander, we are announcing a full cease-fire on this war that we haven't started yet.

_[Everyone on the bridge breathes a sigh of relief, especially Kif.]_

**Kif: **Oh, thank you merciful God. Sir, why the sudden change of heart?

_[Lrrr shows them the scroll.]_

**Lrrr:** Two of your people have successfully delivered our Recipe for Immortality, and have taken the worthless, annoying Bender unit from us. It's a good thing too. He had a BAD taste in music. But anyway, the reason we are satisfied is because the two humans breached our secured landing zones, stunned two of our guards, and breached our bridge to make the bargain. I don't know about you, but that took SOME nerve!

_[Ndnd speaks from off the camera.]_

**Ndnd:** They had us pinned down in a way that I've never experienced, and it was _quite_ interesting.

**Lrrr:** Silence, or I'll nail you to the bed again.

**Ndnd:** That female is probably the luckiest female in the world.

_[Lrrr groans in frustration, but finishes his message for Earth.]_

**Lrrr:** Grrrrrr. At any rate, we have jettisoned the robot at the humans request. He should gently land on your ship in about twelve seconds. We have our formula, you have your annoying robot back, and no one got killed. We will spare your planet this time, but if we even catch one Earth ship flying within fifty miles of us, we will WIPE YOU OUT!

_[The screen cuts out and goes back to space. We see the Omicronian mothership fly off into space. Kif is perplexed, but relieved. He's not sure what to say in light of these events.]_

**Kif:** I-uh-well, uh-I must—um-we—

_[Suddenly, CLANG! An imprint of Bender's body makes a dent in the hull of the bridge of the Nimbus.]_

**Kif:** I need four volunteers to go outside and secure the robot. We'll bring him back home.

_[The entire bridge celebrates this command of victory.]_

_[We hear a victorious military fanfare as the Nimbus turns around and heads back to Earth. After the Nimbus leaves sight, we see electronic camouflage twitching and the Ford Expedition is revealed. We see it turning towards East along Earth's equator, and with a mighty ROAR, it roars off to the distance, accompanied by a heavy metal chord.]_

_[__**Act III – Scene 3:**__ The camera circles around the Planet Express Headquarters, where the traditional Futurama music is quickly overcome by Fry's crying.]_

_[Inside the Planet Express laboratory, we see Fry's head planted in the meeting table, with Leela doing her best to console him. Zoidberg and Hermes are looking on. The Professor is at the workbench, working on a weapon.]_

**Fry:** _(sobbing)_ I miss Bender.

**Leela:** Honey, I know you miss him, but it's only been twelve minutes since he gave himself up to the aliens.

**Zoidberg: **This kinda reminds me of the time I saw an alien rat eat a spider's nest just before I ate the rat. A life for a life.

**Hermes:** People eating people. That's the ancient way of the bureaucracy. But, I fear these comments are not going to console our pouting honky.

**Leela:** No, no. Keep going, you two. Fry needs more words of comfort.

_[Fry sobs harder. The Professor chimes in, cynically.]_

**Prof:** Ooooh, it's bad enough to hear Fry complain while Bender used to be out getting is booze money, but this has to stop.

_[Suddenly, the door opens and Amy rushes in with her cell phone in hand.]_

**Amy:** OK, I'll tell them Kif-y. The Omicronians backed off. Some two mysterious dudes gave back the God juice list.

_[Everyone, except Fry, celebrates, simultaneously.]_

**Prof:** Yahoo! Whee! Oh, my weapon will become scrap.

**Hermes:** Yea!

**Zoidberg:** Hoorah!

**Leela:** Ha-ha-ha!

_[Fry raises his head, and turns to Amy. His eyes are tear-filled.]_

**Fry:** What about Bender?

**Amy:** As part of the deal, the two dudes demanded Bender's release. So, they did.

_[Fry quickly cheers.]_

**Fry:** YEEEAA! My friend's back!

**Amy:** Yep. In fact, Kif-y's bringing Bender back here right now.

_[Fry's cheering gets louder.]_

**Fry:** WHOOOOOOOOO!

**Leela:** Wait a minute. Why can't Bender walk himself back here? I mean it's not like he's an infant.

**Fry:** Leela! Bender's a hero, and they're going to honor him for being the brave, selfless robot he is.

**Amy:** Actually, he's unconscious.

**Fry:** That right, he-Huh? What do you mean?

**Amy:** There is an inhibitor device planted on the backside of Bender's head. Kif believes that the Professor can remove it without harming Bender.

**Prof:** Hu—Wha? Oh, absolutely. I know the military could remove devices such as an inhibitor chip, but when they do it, the result is always the same.

**Fry:** A new tattoo?

**Prof:** No, no. They blow up.

_[A dramatic chord is heard as Fry gasps.]_

**Fry:** Professor, please! Whatever you do, don't blow off my friend's head. I don't think my heart can take another heart attack.

_[The Professor chuckles at Fry's statement.]_

**Prof: **_(under his breath) _Weakling.

_[__**Act III – Scene 4:**__ A serious military theme is heard as a military transport, which looks like a futuristic take of a 1970's Army Jeep, arrives at the Planet Express headquarters. Kif, two officers, and Bender, who is shut down, are inside.]_

_[From below and looking South, the two officers jump out of the Jeep. One of them grabs a dolly as they both run past the camera and to the other side of the Jeep. As we hear them straining and groaning, accompanied by three clunking sounds, we see up in the skies a brief, tiny burst of light, followed by long, tiny streams of fire, going in an Eastern direction, that dissipate quickly. We see the two officers, led by Kif, wheel a dolly, carrying Bender, into the Planet Express Headquarters.]_

_[Inside the Planet Express laboratory, Bender is lying face-down on the workbench. Kif and the two officers are in one corner of the lab. Amy is close to Kif, holding his hand. Fry is standing next to Bender, with Leela right next to him. Hermes and Zoidberg are keeping their distance from the workbench. The Professor is seen examining Bender's head.] _

_[On the lower back part of Bender's head, the Professor is examining a chip blinking blue. After a moment of looking, the Professor goes underneath his workbench, and pulls out a simple crowbar. He wedges the end under each of the corners, which loosens up the chip. On one final wedge under its body, the chip is pulled from Bender's body. Everyone, except the Professor, is surprised by the simplicity of the chip's function. The Professor takes the chip and places it in his lab coat as Leela inquires.]_

**Leela:** What? That's it? Just one little pry, and that's all it took?

**Kif:** We're still trying to get needle-nose pliers on our ships. It's a government operation.

_[Suddenly, Bender powers up and laughs. He pulls himself up and sits up as he continues to laugh.]_

**Bender:** _(laughing)_ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, Ha! Wow! That was a funny one, man!

_[Fry is elated that his friend is back. Fry hugs Bender as he speaks.]_

**Fry:** Oh, Bender! I'm so glad you're back and OK.

_[Bender pats his friend.]_

**Bender:** Yeah, I missed being here, too. So, did the aliens destroy Earth?

**Amy:** Nope. They exchanged the Recipe for you.

**Bender:** WHAT?! Damn it! Now, I gotta rig another delivery so I can steal it.

**Leela:** I KNEW IT! I had a feeling you had something planned after we talked about Mom's Birthday.

**Fry:** Hang on, Bender. Don't you think you may have given Mom her gift already?

**Bender:** Whatcha talking about?

_[Sentimental music is heard.]_

**Fry:** Think about it. You were willing to sacrifice yourself for your Mommy. They could've easily killed Mom, and knowing how feisty and stubborn she is….Wheew! I doubt she would still be alive by now.

**Leela:** In another way, you showed your Mom that her creations truly do have a heart. That's probably the greatest gift you could ever give. Life!

**Bender:** Wow! I never thought humans could have such high respect and regard for life. Choke on that, world! I gave Mom the greatest gift EVER! A meaning for breathing!

_[Bender laughs in victory. The music fades. Kif chimes in.]_

**Kif:** Hey, did you get a look at the people who save you?

_[The question stops Bender in his laughing tracks.]_

**Bender:** Huh? Not really, no. All I can remember was I was strapped to a torture table with magnets on both sides of my head. Activated, too! Eeeeh. All that inhibiting static blinded me senseless as I sang the worst pieces of crap ever made. Then suddenly, I was in a deep sleep. That was it.

**Amy:** Wow! A spectral nightmare. Hey, wait. Why were you wondering about that, Kif-y?

_[Kif reveals a SanDisk memory chip as he talks.]_

**Kif:** Because when we pulled Bender from space, this was taped to his left armpit.

_[Everyone gasps in awe. The Professor approaches Kif, takes the SanDisk, and inspects it.]_

_[The Professor takes it to a small platform on his workbench. The platform glows green as it suspends the SanDisk. After a moment, the platform dings. The Professor takes the SanDisk to the Big Screen TV as he talks.]_

**Prof: **No viruses, spam ware, or malware.

**Leela:** What is it?

**Prof:** You need to keep up with the times. This is a twenty-first century memory disk, called a SanDisk. This tiny chip can hold sixteen gigabytes of information.

_[The professor places the SanDisk inside a receiver in the technology under the Big Screen TV as Amy talks.]_

**Amy:** That's it? Smeesh! What did they use that for, reading dissertations?

_[Static appears on the screen. Suddenly, a dark void, which appears to be the inside of a truck, shows itself. We see two pairs of glowing blue eyes. The faces cannot be made out in the dark shadows, but thanks to the moving background of New New York zooming away from them, the curvatures of the heads could suggest that they belong to Powerhouse on the right & Milady on the left. They speak with commanding authority.]_

**Powerhouse:** Good evening!

_[Everyone gasps and squeal in terror.]_

**Powerhouse:** Shut up and hear us out!

_[Everyone is silenced. Eerie music begins.]_

**Powerhouse:** Thank you. We just wanted to tell you a story.

**Milady: **A story of lust, passion, action, suspense, wonder, and awe. It starts like this. Almost nine-hundred years ago, a man and a woman, both victims of oppression, fate, and recklessness, rose from the ashes and made an impact for country and country only.

**Powerhouse:** But, fate was up to its old tricks. Fate found a way to thrust these lovers from home and into a wild and crazy frontier. Upon arrival, these lovers used the covers of deception, manipulation, and persistence to keep from being exposed.

_[The camera shows Leela and Fry intrigued as they hear Milady's statements.]_

**Milady:** Simple occupations, such as relationship counselors, librarians, metal dealers, even bounty hunters. These covers were what helped these star-crossed lovers from being revealed.

_[The camera shows Kif, a bit frightened, and Amy, more intrigued, as they hear Powerhouse's statements.]_

**Powerhouse:** There even came such a time where they used a servant to dethrone a tyrant, whose enemies were life and sanity, from power. In a bizarre twist of fate, this event helped this servant bond ever closer to the one he loves.

_[The camera shows the Professor and Hermes, both curious about what Milady is saying.]_

**Milady:** In the midst of all this, the lovers discreetly sought ways to return to home country. Under cover, they searched and searched until one day, they discovered a way to go home. With their will stronger and their hearts beating faster, our lovers persisted and developed a way home.

_[The camera focuses on Bender, who is intrigued by Powerhouse's statements.]_

**Powerhouse:** But before they left, they needed to obtain one last item of great power. A kind of power that is of the desire of all the worlds and all the stars. A kind of power that is of the stars and heavens. Through disguise, our friends had to fool the evil beings that protected this power, until their trust was gained and the power was obtained.

_[The camera goes back to the glowing eyes on the Big Screen T.V.]_

**Milady:** With everything they need, these lovers, hand-in-hand, traveled the long, road back home. But just before they left for home, they revealed themselves to the wild and crazy frontier.

_[The camera goes to Fry and Leela, who are stunned beyond belief when they hear Milady.]_

**Milady:** FRY! You better listen to Leela more often. You're a dumb-ass, and hard as a brick.

_[Eerie music embellishes slightly with soft thunder.]_

**Leela:** _(gasping in horror)_ Is tha-?

_[The camera goes to Kif and Amy. Their mouths are already dropped, but they appear even more scared as they hear Powerhouse.]_

**Powerhouse:** KIF! We thought that given your history with Brannigan, you would enjoy his castration! But, the steroid-venom proved too much for you. And for that and for being our servant, we deeply apologize for putting you in the middle of it. We just hoped the antidote worked OK for you? AMY! You truly are an awesome dumb-ass for keeping yourself to the gentle green gentleman you love.

**Kif: **_(thinking, fearful)_ Oh, my-Oh, dea- wh-Wait! The nurse? Doctor?

_[Eerie music embellishes even more with slightly louder thunder. The camera goes to the Professor and Hermes. Their mouths drop in shock and offense as Milady gives her reviews.]_

**Milady:** PROFESSOR HUBERT FARNSWORTH! Your written analysis of aerospace physics is off by several parsecs! That's why your ship is always inefficient!

**Prof:** NONSENSE! I-

**Milady:** HERMES CONRAD! You're the perfect pain-in-the-ass! We wish you the best in your pursuit of being the biggest jackass in the world!

**Hermes:** HEY! No job is perfect!

_[Eerie music gets louder and creepier. The camera goes to Bender, who has his arms crossed and his fingers tapping with anticipation.]_

**Powerhouse: **BENDER!

**Bender:** Yes? Let me have it, buddy! How great am I?

**Powerhouse:** You a washed-up piece of scrap!

**Bender:** HUH?! Whatcha talk—

**Powerhouse:** You got yourself in the middle of something you had NO business of getting into and nearly started an interstellar war. The only reason we got you out of that mess was because we didn't want to have millions of innocent people dead on our watch! WE had the recipe for immortality, but YOU were the DAMN whistleblower! WE had to scramble like chickens with their heads cut off to spare Earth! You were DAMN lucky nobody got killed! If anyone did die, we would've melted you in a boiling pot and mold your remains into a toilet seat!

**Bender:** _(gasps)_ I could've been the next Snowden!

**Milady & Powerhouse:** ENOUGH!

_[We hear a click from the video, accompanied by a dark rock guitar chord. The cab light comes on and reveals the faces of Milady and Powerhouse. They are dead serious. By this point in the video, the truck has left New New York and is in space, with the Earth still pretty big in the background.]_

_[Everyone in the Planet Express laboratory gasps and exclaims in shock, simultaneously.]_

**Fry:** OH MY GOD! Miss Monroe!

**Leela:** Mister Stallbuzzard!? Them?! Are you kidding!?

**Zoidberg:** Stalin? Buzzard? Or was it Stuzzard?

**Hermes:** IT'S THEM! I OWE THEM MONEY!

**Prof:** WHO ARE YOU?! REVEAL YOURSELF!

**Kif:** IT IS! THE NURSE AND DOCTOR!

**Amy:** SHUT THEM OFF! THEY'RE SCARIER THAN BEFORE!

_[Steady, slightly slow metal continues. The camera goes back to Powerhouse & Milady, eyes still glowing.]_

**Powerhouse:** Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the Texas Powerhouse and this is Milady! We are wranglin' warriors of the country of Texas.

**Milady:** WE started the Texan-American War of 2136. And now, thanks to your complex, yet advanced technology, we will return home and finish the job alongside our fellow Texans.

**Powerhouse:** By the time you've watched this, we would've already gone home. You never found us for the last seven months. I seriously doubt you'll find us now.

**Milady:** Farewell, New New York! You'll see us on the other side.

**Powerhouse:** …of your history book covers!

**Powerhouse & Milady:** _(simultaneously)_ Adios!

_[Music stops. The video cuts to static.]_

_[Suddenly, the SanDisk pops from the technology console, lies on the ground, and fizzles into sparks as it self-destructs.]_

_[Everyone present is shocked and stunned at the revelations. Finally, Amy speaks up.]_

**Amy:** Well, uh…..how about a trip to the Dance Joint?

_[Everyone pauses for a moment. Then suddenly, everyone dashes through the door. Heavy Metal music starts up as the image fades to white.]_

_[__**Act III – Scene 5:**__ Heavy metal music continues. Suddenly, BOOM! An explosion is heard as the image quickly goes to a black and white image of Texan Ranger troops battle American troops in the Texan-American War of 2136. As the camera slowly pans right to show more troops fighting and several choppers flying overhead, a text that reads, "2136 – The Texan-American War" appears for a moment then fades away.]_

_[On the ground, we see several Texan Ranger troops fight hand-to-hand with American troops. A string of gunshots rain from above and take out some Texas troops.]_

_[In the air, we see seven American choppers shooting rounds upon rounds of bullets down on the ground. Suddenly, laser blasts shoot all seven choppers and blow them up.]_

_[We see several fighting troops take cover upon hearing the big explosions.]_

_[In another angle, we see several more troops diving to the ground at the sound of the explosions. One Texan troop looks up and realizes what happens. He is grateful.]_

**Texan Troop:** _(relieved)_ Heh. Okay.

_[We see something struggling under the Texas Troop. Knowing it's his prey, Texas Troop instinctively punches out his prey. Satisfied with what he delivered, he ducks his head again at the sound of a roaring Diesel engine that seems to be coming from nowhere but above.]_

_[We see several more troops in the area perplexed at the sound of the mighty ROAR of the Diesel engine from nowhere.]_

_[The sound is silenced and the music is softened down a bit as an aerial view of The University of Texas in Austin is shown. A text that reads, "University of Texas – Austin" appears briefly then fades away.]_

_[On top of one of the buildings at U.T., we see Jeffery Brannigan, in formal dinner uniform, at a dining table with Geebs and Ken, his scientists. They're all enjoying a glass of champagne. However, Jeffery appears to be enjoying it a lot more, especially when they hear seven massive explosions in the distance.]_

**Geebs:** Sir, why aren't we enjoying the champagne inside?

**Jeffery:** You don't feel like celebrating?

_[The Diesel engine starts to approach in the distance. The closer in sounds, the louder the heavy metal music becomes.]_

**Ken:** Sir, I think what he's saying is that we love celebrating, but only in places where we feel comfortable. And frankly, we both don't feel safe being out in the open where our enemies can get us in an air attack.

**Jeffery:** The Texans don't have any strategy for air combat. Their always so heavy from all that Bar-B-Q they eat, they can't even lift themselves into the air. Whatever they do, it's gotta come from the ground up.

_[By this point, the Diesel engine and music is at a considerable volume.]_

**Geebs:** Wow. I didn't think we wou—Do you hear that?

**Jeffery:** I thought I told the tank squad to disperse an hour ago.

**Ken:** They did, right on schedule, sir. I don't like this.

_[This prompts Jeffery to rise from his chair and go to the edge of the building where a big street is running along-side. Only a few troops are patrolling the perimeter of the building.]_

_[Jeffery and his scientists look around. The Diesel engine sound by this point is almost deafening. As Jeffery shouts his orders above the sound, he looks to his right, towards Ken and away from Geebs.]_

**Jeffery:** Geebs, call center! Let them know that we have a possible generator problem!

_[Suddenly, a laser blasts hits Geebs and sends him down, dead. Jeffery looks towards Geebs and is not really moved. Ken, picking up on what's happening, is becoming more scared. He starts sneaking towards the roof's only access to downstairs, towards his back right.]_

**Jeffery: **_(exasperated)_ What did I say?! I told you that stuff would go straight to your—

_[Another laser blast sound rings out, killing the heavy metal music. Ken falls, dead. Jeffery looks over and sees Ken is down. He's exasperated by what he's seeing out of his smartest scientists.]_

**Jeffery:** _(exasperated)_ What's wrong with you men!? Are just that determined to ignore the wisdom that I have for you?

_[From behind Jeffery, we see an open space, but the source of the Diesel sound is coming directly in front of us. Suddenly, an open hole, in the shape of a windshield, reveals a truck cab with Milady and Powerhouse inside, eyes still glowing.]_

_[From the driver side of the invisible truck, BOOM! In slow motion, all sounds silence except for the reverbing explosion and a big heavy metal chord, Powerhouse and Milady are ejected from their seats and have their arms extended in front of themselves as if they are reaching for something. Their ejected path is heading right towards Jeffery.]_

_[Another heavy metal chord is sustained. In slow-motion, from in front of Powerhouse and Milady, we see their lustful, glowing eyes enjoying what they're seeing as they fly from the cab of the truck.]_

_[Another heavy metal chord is sustained. In slow-motion, from in front of Jeffery, we see Jeffery's eyes and mouth wide open. Inaudible, we can see that he is screaming in terror. The image starts to go white on him.]_

_[Another heavy metal chord is sustained. In slow-motion, from in front of Powerhouse & Milady, we see their eyes getting really close to the camera. As they get closer, the music gets louder and the image gets whiter. Soon, the whole image is white. All sounds are silenced. Milady and Powerhouse softly narrate a quote.]_

**Powerhouse & Milady: **_(narrating, softly)_ "If you stop learning, then you might as well stop living."

_[Suddenly, we hear a metallic "SHING" sound! We then hear Jeffery SCREAMING in TOTAL, AGONIZING PAIN!]_

**Jeffery:** _(total pain)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NUTS!

_[Heavy metal music starts up. The image fades to black. The Executive Producer's credits fade in, then fade out. The Heavy Metal Music resolves.]_

_[End Credit Roll: The Futurama Theme, with a Heavy Metal, is played as the ending credits roll.]_

_**THE END OF **__**THE TEXAS POWERHOUSE TRILOGY**___


End file.
